Boyfriend wants me to abort our baby?

Question

I’ve been knowing that I’m pregnant for a little over 3 weeks. I’m actually two months though. My boyfriend was the first person i told. He just seemed so excited and we have been talking about the baby. Not much but we have been talking about a baby shower and saving etc.

Yesterday my boyfriend asked to borrow $20 which isn’t much but i have him a hard conversation about the importance of saving at a time like this. The conversation led to an argument to where he said “you’re doing better than me financially, you have all this money etc”

And he admitted he just wasn’t ready for a baby right now.

I immediately burst into tears. Because i really want to keep my baby. I couldn’t see me killing it even though I’m only 7 weeks. This might be my only opportunity to have a child so i really want to raise it.

He argued with me for an hour over the phone and told me we both weren’t ready especially him. He told how i had all these great things going on and how a baby would set me back and that he didn’t have real income and that i should understand

TL:DR; my boyfriend wants us to have a baby later but I’m already pregnant

ClaudiaGalll1996 · Accepted Answer

If you want the baby then have the baby. If you don't want the baby, you don't have to. It really is your choice. There is nothing wrong with keeping the baby, adoption or termination. Just think carefully. If you go ahead having this child you must also realise and be practical of what that could look like for you. Is your partner willing to work through his issues and mature? Possible couples therapy and him improving his financial habits? Or, do you accept the possibility of single parenthood and having to go the legal route and understand that raising your child may be something you have to do on your own? Sounds like a lot of maturity and development and conversations need to happen here. Xx

Having kids is really, really hard. Not everyone wants kids and not everyone should be parents, not saying you, but it's a big commitment. But I do want you to know that no matter what you choose I send my love and warm wishes. If you want to keep this baby then you should, if you don't, then don't. But I know it would be very hard without support from your significant other. I'm 26 and my husband and I are expecting our first baby in May next year, we've been together 7 years and married 3 years. The baby was planned and we're both excited, but even in our situation it's still very daunting and a big deal.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

You shouldn’t base such a big decision on whether or not he wants a part in this journey. It’s your body, your life and your future. Make the choice you can live with, because even though you love him so much it does not mean this relationship will be your last. If you broke up, you don’t want to be grief stricken because of the sacrifice you made with an abortion you didn’t want, just for it to be all for nothing.

Cubus · Accepted Answer

If your boyfriend at first was excited to have the baby and then reacted like this then I believe he just lost his temper because of that little quarell you had, and not really thinks like this.

When did this argument happen? If it recently happened then give him some time, it's also hard for him. He may not be the one pregnant, but it's still a big thing to be a parent, so it's natural one can be overwhelmed with emotions.

Let him calm down, and then try to talk with him. Tell him how you feel. If you have an ultrasound then offer him to accompany you

Anyway try to find someone to support you. A close friend, mum, dad, another family member - someone you can rely on. You can't be alone now.

And the most important - try not to stress. Yeah, I know it's not easy, but limiting stress is the best you can do for you and your baby.

Don't worry. It's gonna be alright :)

Guy13 · Accepted Answer

Do not do it for this Reason: The baby will always have a remembrance or birthday. Either an Abort Day or Birth Day... Pregnancy never goes away.

You can find websites with abortion regret group and email them about "After" life they live... lived... forgiveness etc. Investigate it.

Anonymous · Answer

Why would this be your only chance to have a baby?

You're going to have to face facts and consider your options.

One is raising it alone even if you get him to pay towards it, he doesn't have much to start with.
Another is he comes around and works with you. You'll still have very little money on his wage.
Or he looks after it while you work.
Or you abort it and try again later with him or someone else, cc and when you're in a better position.

Or maybe you have family around you to help.

melanieeeB · Answer

If you want this baby, keep it! Don't let yourself get dragged into something that you don't wanna do... no matter the topic.

I think he doesn't wanna take the responsibility now, cause of financial insecurities on his side but I honestly don't care lol

Subarugirl · Answer

Apparently neither of you are ready to handle all of the responsibilities it takes to be a parent. At the end of the day it is your choice and your choice alone weather or not you want to carry the pregnancy to term or not. That being said it is also his choice weather or not he want's to be involved in his child's life. Either way both of you will have to live with the consequences of what you two did together.

Hypermotard1916 · Answer

muh body mug choice, hence you take the call, but dont worry, your child will inherit the horrible civilisation which you ruined and will blame you all...

Pterodon · Answer

Dump him and get court ordered child support

Anonymous · Answer

OK, and? What's the question here?

leighbee · Answer

Do yhat you want

Boyfriend wants me to abort our baby?

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