Boyfriend doesn’t want our baby anymore. I don’t want to abort, what do I do?

[Anonymous]

I’m 15 weeks pregnant today, he told me yesterday he doesn’t think it’s a good idea to keep it and doesn’t want too. Over the past 5 weeks we went to ultrasounds, talked about names, he visibly showed me he wanted it by kissing my belly and talking about our future with our baby. Our parents know I’m pregnant and aren’t willing to help us at all he made the decision and said he would get another job and save up more money so we can keep it, he says it’s a lot of stress on him and it would be better if we had the support from our parents, which I completely understand. We have an abortion booked but I don’t want to get one, I’m so scared and want to keep our baby but I’m not in the position too, I feel so much guilt. I don’t know if I’m doing the right or wrong thing.

[Cubus]

If you do not want to abort your baby then you shouldn't do it. You shouldn't do something that is against you. I understand your situation is very difficult and you go through a lot of stress. I don't know the exact details about your situation, but have you tried to talk with your boyfriend about it for real? Tell him that you want to give birth to your baby, not sternly, politely. Tell him that, you understand that it's very hard for him to support you and you're with him fully. I think he wants to have a baby (you said he used to kiss your belly and talk about names) but now have doubt because of difficulties that aroused with it. I know it sounds like in a fairytale, but if you want to keep the baby then say you'll get through this, give him strenght, he needs it :) Also don't know how adamant are your parents when it comes to not supporting you. Are you sure that they won't help you, have you talked about it with them recently? I do not question your words, just saying that maybe you should try one more time with them. It's always worth a try. Eventually, if you really couldn't afford it, adoption is an option. Yeah, it's not perfect, but it's the best option then.

I know your situation is difficult, but I am sure you're gonna get through this. Don't worry girl :) Stay strong, praying for you 🙏

[IMuser]

Do you wish to bring an innocent child in this world when both of you are not ready to raise it? Do you want the child to be resented internally and have a difficult upbringing just because of your issues?

Unless both of you are ready and are willing to sacrifice a major portion of your lives for the child, don't give birth to it. That child would be an adult someday and if he had severe issues in its upbringing, it would start thinking "i wish I was never born".

[Asker]

Thank you, I never thought of it that way

[Gigi2019]

That child has a right to life, independent of the problems of its parents. She should give it to people who will love it and who are able to give this child the things that she, et al, are not able to give it. Killing a person because they are inconvenient for you, is not acceptable. It did not ask to be born. But, it's here now. Let it live out its life. You've no right to take it, now that it is a person.

[Gigi2019]

* It did not ask to be created, I mean.

[IMuser]

@Gigi2019 so you are expecting a mother to bring this child to this world, tolerate the pain of giving a child birth and then hand it over to someone else because "it has a right to life?"

The authority of the life of child is in the hands of the mother for she is the one responsible for it: the mother has the full authority over it and no amount of human rights can decide the life of a fetus

It's better to be born when your parents are ready for it

[Gigi2019]

Who died and left you God? You don't get to tell her to kill her child. She doesn't get to kill her child because it's inconvenient or hard to raise.

DO NOT FUCK IF YOU DO NOT WANT CHILDREN.

DUMB DUMBS WHO WANT TO FUCK ANYWAYS SHOULD GET PERMANENTLY FIXED IF THEY ARE NOT GOOD BABY RECEPTACLES AN THEY KNOW THIS.

[IMuser]

@Gigi2019 the whole point of protection and abortion is giving women control over their bodies and subsequently over children

You want abortions to stop and people to stop taking sex lightly? Stop production of contraceptives and protection: do it raw or dont do it

At the end, only mother is responsible for the unborn child and a child will be much healthy if raised by both parents in a healthy environment

[Gigi2019]

I totally disagree.

[AvaOneLasTime]

#Stop production of contraceptives and protection: do it raw or dont do it#

You have no idea how much problems would that create. Think before writing something. For starters, read and realise what contraceptions do, allow and prevent.

[IMuser]

@AvaOneLasTime can you summarise or provide reading resources?

[Gigi2019]

@AvaOneLasTime "What" are you talking about? What's your beef with male or female condoms?

[AvaOneLasTime]

@Gigi2019
Its not about beef. Read at what a ridiculous thing he said.
@IMuser
I can, but I want. I recommend reading about contraceptions yourself.
there is no point in me, hunting for the information you require of me, when you can do it yourself. If your point is : me proving a point, and then you simply CALL BS on that, I am not wasting my life force.
I am not going to live forever, don't know about you.
Its hard to fathom how a 20 years old adult, will disregard contraception like that and say impulsive things like - do it raw or don't do it all.
you seem to ignore the part with disease, for your own liking, so it can fit your statement. Lack of sex, unless it is for the making of a child, could lead to increasemeant for likehood of certain conditions, worse mental health, worse physical health.
these are basic things people younger than you already know. And we know it's not up for us to decide for other people. Same applies to you.
yes, unexpected, unwanted pregnancies do happen, and sometimes the baby can be on the question, even one month after it.
this is a matter for decisions, discussions, choices, not with contraceptions, because its kinda late for that, when the woman is pregnant, isn't it?
And its absoute hypocrisy for you, to say people should have sex, only to make a baby, when you talk in another questions, how much you want/love sex.
Sorry, but I think of unfollowing you.

[AvaOneLasTime]

I can, but I won't *
Damned phone... I swear...

[Gigi2019]

@AvaOneLasTime TLDR... Where are you from?

[AvaOneLasTime]

@Gigi2019
Tldr is not a trick to work on me, just because I am a teen. If you don't have the will, to read my opinion, then I am discouraged, from giving away my location.

[IMuser]

@AvaOneLasTime
1 I am from somewhere sex education is nearly non existent: what I seek is the knowledge which every 20 year old around you would have
2 I have no interest in arguing with you, the only thing I seek is knowledge, nevertheless if you do not wish to provide it, i will read it myself: what I asked for was a starting point
3 My "do it raw or dont do it" meant that include sex when you are married for I consider sex as something sacred: if people started having sex within marriages, the occurrence of single mothers would be less and the need for abortion would be less (under the assumption that marriage and child rearing were well thought by the couple)
4 i am not against abortion by any means i support it because a child should be raised only when both parents are ready for it, what I am against is the irresponsible sex which is happening a lot: as i mentioned, i hold sex as a sacred thing which should be done probably after marriage
5 Sex as a pleasure: i agree on the point that sexually repressed lifestyle can be highly stressful however i often ask myself this: is there any alternative for sex as a pleasure? And as for my answers on sex related questions, it is often from a fantasy/logical point of view rather than experience (I am a virgin and wish to have sex when married, Sex is highly addictive and i don't wish to get addicted soon)
6 Me saying "BS" on your answers: i am sure you have had your bad experiences however not everyone wants to argue: my question was a genuine need, a direction to start reading

Though i would agree that i still wonder is sex really only good in marriages or is there something which can act as a healthy replacement

I welcome further questions from you. Maybe i am wrong, maybe right, the only way to know is to read more

[MrsTurkleton]

Let him decide what he wants and you do what you feel is right.
You have the love and support of your family either way.
His decision now may be far from his final one.

My daughter’s dad wouldn’t even speak to me when I was pregnant with her. We weren’t together, we were friends who slept together occasionally. When I found out I was pregnant, he told me that what I wanted to do was up to me, but that he wasn’t interested. I wasn’t really expecting anything else, to be honest.
When she was three weeks old, he turned up at my door and said that he wanted to be there for her. It wasn’t straight forward at first because I didn’t trust him, so we ended up in mediation and then court which, looking back was so unnecessary. He’s such a good dad, and I never saw that coming. I never thought we would be where we are today.
You can’t make his decision for him, you can only make the right one for you, and know that whatever happens, you will work it out, either with him or not, but don’t assume that you are on your own forever when that is not the case.

[Anonymous]

Weigh your choices and do what you feel is right and what will truly make YOU happy. If you feel that it’ll be too much for you ask if your parents can take the baby in until you get onto your feet. I wouldn’t recommend putting the child into the foster/adoption system because I’ve seen the horrors and dangers of that but if that is what you feel is right, by all means go ahead. Just make sure you’re mentally and emotionally prepared for whatever you choose to do.

[WhatTheHeckkkk]

I really dislike hearing this, not being of the abortion, but because he showed that he cannot be a father. He acted like he was so on board with having a child and all of a sudden wants you to get an abortion, that is awful. That is sad to me. How could a father do that?
Your boyfriend does not and should not control your choices, and if you don’t want to get an abortion, you do not have to, and you shouldn’t have to just because he wants to. If he doesn’t want to be a father, he doesn’t have to. And if you don’t feel ready to be a parent, you can always give it up for adoption if you’re afraid of doing an abortion.

[TonyMetal___86]

That's why a girl should never give her body or self decisions or anything else before marriage...

I don't know why these days people make sex before marriage, you want sex than get married or at least have sex with person whom you're going to marry and if the girl gets pregnant, you will work like a tiger to assure a safe and beautiful life for you're girl and kid, you're a man for something unless you want to be called a male!

If the girls does all her duties towards her man than the man must do all his duties towards his wife and family...

[OlderAndWiser]

If you can't afford to raise a child by yourself, have the baby and place it for adoption. Let your baby be loved by someone; doesn't EVERY child deserve to be loved?

[Daniela1982]

Tell that to the million girls that have abortions each year.

[OlderAndWiser]

@Daniela1982 Give me an audience with them and I will!

[DermalPunch]

So because she's broke her baby won't be loved?

[xJayleenx]

I agree with this too

[OlderAndWiser]

@DermalPunch No, her baby won't be loved if its murdered before birth.

[DermalPunch]

Oh yes! Ok we are on the same page.

[Apple1996]

You should keep the baby if that's what you want to do. Don't let your boyfriend talk you into this just cause he doesn't want the responsibility.

[TonyMetal___86]

Not only that, he's an a*shole for letting her believe that he wants the baby than suddenly he wants her to abort!

[Apple1996]

@TonyMetal___86 yeah I'm not 100% certain on there situation but it seemed like he agreed to have a baby

[TonyMetal___86]

She said that he did than changed his mind after weeks, he ain't a man to keep his promises and keep his decisions...

[lightbulb27]

reality seems this:

if you abort, that will hurt your heart because you want the child and are attached already. That will be difficult to recover from emotionally I would suspect.

If you go forward with the baby to a child to an adult, its going to be tough financially, but there is no greater motivator in life. That's life and others have done so, that was the choice you made few months ago as well.. why switch now facing reality? I know of a single mom (with support of family mind you) that raised 3 kids, worked, and went to school for nurse and dealt with an addict husband (for some time). very hard, very tiring, but possible with focus. family support is key, can you patch that relationship?

So if you can't handle the baby, place up for adoption and give them a chance at life. If you can find the support network around family, then keep.
If there's no chance for that baby, then I guess you got your answer.

To be clear, baby needs mom and dad, to have love and support. you need to work together.

It's your life, no-one can tell you what is right for you but you. In 20 years... I think and hope you'll be glad you stuck to "life" and raised the person. Kids don't need all the crap in society really, they need support of parents and lot of guidance.

good luck to you both.

[FictionalCharacter]

Reading the comments of guys suggesting “adoption” 🙄.

Girl, in a situation like this you need to think “Me, Myself, and I (and my baby)”. Because it’s both you and the baby growing and evolving. The baby physically and you responsibility.

If you really want this baby, then that means you need to take risks and step up as a mother for your child. By risks, I mean dealing with family members criticism and judgment. You getting a job to support your child. You searching and asking for help for pregnant mothers to afford housing and food.

Yes, it’s going to be overwhelming. But you need to remind yourself as of why you are taking these risks. It’s for your child to have a good environment growing up. It may not be a “luxurious” environment. But it’s a environment of your child being alive and you as a mother who wanted them alive. Then it’s you guys living the life as you want.

I wish you the best.

But life is never easy and perfect. That we make the best of what we could.

[Anonymous]

I am so sorry honey. I'd give you a hug if I could. I wish I could help you guys because I would. Look my sister aborted. The next time she got pregnant everybody told her to do it again. She didn't. She had her child and 3 years after that my sister died. You don't know if you'll get another chance to have a kid. If you want it, I say talk to you boyfriend with courtesy for how he is feeling. Remember he is going through it too. If the money is the only problem... Then you have to have the baby. The money will figure itself out if you try.

I'd say go back to school for something that req only 2-3 years. Dental Hygienist. Or provide a service or digital product. by the way the story you're writing right now that is your life... Is a pretty good one. If you put it down on paper. Peggy McColl has a program that can help you after the book is written.

Or maybe tell your story and ask people to donate for you two to go to school but I think FASA would pay.

[Asker]

Thank you for the great advice!! I really appreciate it

[Anonymous]

He's gonna have to pay child support, he can't force you to get an abortion.
He should've worn a condom if he didn't want to be a father.
I've raised a child and sometimes people exaggerate the cost. You really only need baby clothes, diapers and formula etc.
Kids don't start costing real money until they're in school and tbey need fresh lunch stuff everyday and new school clothes and they start wanting expensive toys.
When they're a baby it's more about giving them your time and love and care.

[wheist9095]

Get the abortion, and honestly I don't know if you should even stay in the relationship. It's going to be a lot of that... You made me do this argument.

Even with child support, or government assistance, it is very difficult to raise a child. And I would think you would probably end up raising that child alone since the guy is already said that he doesn't want it. You're young, you can try again with someone else when you are in a better position or with a more supportive person

[Asker]

Thank you so much, this is really good genuine advice thank you 🙏

[TonyMetal___86]

That's what happens when you have sex before marriage...
Anyways he's a scum, making his girl pregnant and he had the decision over her body and that's a right that even a husband can't have these days, still he managed to lie and now wants to leave her in the middle of the road...

I can feel that you're scared and that's something normal and tbh i don't know what to tell you, i'm against abortion but at the same time why bringing an innocent baby to this world to make him/her suffer or wouldn't have a father and a family?

On the other hand if you abort the baby than it's a murder...

I just don't have the right decision about this case, what's done is done and if i was the one to make the law, you're boyfriend would be in serious trouble by now!

[UCrayCray]

I support a woman’s right to choose. However, I also know that having a abortion is a difficult thing for most women, no matter how many pro-birthers claim these women are selfish whores fitting an abortion in between her waxing appointment and a lunch date.
That being said, if you don’t really want an abortion, don’t get one. You will spend a lifetime regretting it.
Adoption is another option, but don’t feel bad if you don’t want to even
consider that. People tend to think carrying a pregnancy and give birth is just a little thing, and once you are done you can just give the baby away like it’s a old shirt. It’s not that easy.
Know that you are stronger than you think. You can have this baby, daddy or no daddy, and do a good job.

[RealMarek]

If you don’t want an abortion it’s the last thing you should do. It seems like your boyfriend actually wanted the baby until he realized how much it will cost. I know the financial aspect of this is difficult but you can look into government assistance for the short term and he can go to trade school for not too much cost or debt and learn a marketable skill like welding, hvac, or electrical. Those jobs are plentiful and in the long run pay well. After five or so years he might even be able to start his own business.

[Guy13]

Please cancel the appointment. I have not met a woman who has not regretted killing their own child. You have no idea of the Shame and Guilt you will feel.
-You will not kill a dog, cat, or person BUT will kill a beating and defensive heart ❤️ beating baby.
At least put child up for adoption. This way, if one day either of you want to meet, then he/she are alive to do so.

Your boyfriend is selfish and foolish.

[Guy13]

For those of you who Dislike the Opportunity for Life…you Oligarchs of Putin variety. Wanting the RICHES OF LIFE all to your own.
🤢

🤮 all over 💰 and inconvencing your Oligarchial Fat Cat LIFE, for ME, MYSELF, and I only me Elitists…. HOARDING RICHNESS OF LIFE AWAY FOR YOUR OWN WEALTH‼️
Abounding Depraved Sickos ‼️

Give me 💵 my 🤑. Liberty 💰 and Baby Death 🤑. FREEDOM and I choose Death to all but MYSELF 🤑. Inconvenienced BY LIFE ‼️
🤮
🤮
🤮

[SubduedOne]

A baby should only be brought into the world when its parents are ready, able and willing to care for the baby. A baby is not a hobby, a passing fancy, a pastime, an activity, a trap, a pet, someone to love you.

Too many lives — parent and child — are ruined because the parents were not ready to be committed, responsible parents. Children are not to be resented as burdens, inconveniences.

If you are not ready, if the father is not ready, the child is also not ready.

There are 7 BILLION people in the world and too many are children who are resented, abused, unappreciated, ignored, neglected, undernourished (in love, care, food, and nurture).

Be wise.

[Massageman]

There are places and people who will help you - just remember - - - - Someone in an abortion clinic is NOT going to help you keep your baby- they want to him/her because that is how they stay afloat.

That said, there are numerous Pregnancy Support Centers in the US and around the world. CareNet, and the Caring Network are just two of hundreds.
Please call 1-800-A-FAMILY where a counselor will talk it through with you, and should have referrals for the services you need. I used to volunteer at one many moons ago and the moms were SO appreciative of the support. We will be praying for you and your baby. After delivery, you can decide if you are in a position to keep your baby or place him or her up for adoption. Good luck.

[Gigi2019]

That child deserves a chance at life, regardless of you or anyone else's financial difficulties. There are PLENTY of couples who cannot have children who would love to raise your child. If you really do not want to keep it, do your research and find your baby a good home. DO NOT KILL IT.

[Gigi2019]

*of your

[ManHater]

Well first of all you are with the wrong man if he's willing to fuck you and do the dirty work but is not man enough to take care of what comes out? Sorry girl how? Sounds like you are dependant on him for everything. Find another man. Scrap the baby and just remember him on how he treated this. Tell him you will remember this and you will never forgive him. However I know you are a woman and are weak and will always forgive people even your rapists. So best of luck you just picked the wrong fucking man to love unless this is your form of "Love" is pretty fucked up...

[Emiliamazing]

My husband was born to a single mother. She raised him and he went to college and he is a wonderful human being. The father left before he was born and never got in the picture. Please consider keeping this child, I think there will be support for you even if those who love you don’t realize it yet.

[Emiliamazing]

I know every situation is different, I’m just giving you my opinion on the life that I have lived. I just think that there are support systems out there and family members will change whether they realize it or not.

[lrina]

dump your boyfriend, but keep the baby. it's your body; he shouldn't force you to do what you don't want to do on your baby. and either way, if you get the abortion (which you clearly don't want) you'll just end up regretting it later on, so don't get it. and since your boyfriend is so controlling and an asshole, you'd be better off without him. dump his ass.

[England4eva]

Ultimately, you are the one who will have to live with the greater consequences as it’s growing in your body. So you need to think of how you feel rather than just your boyfriend feels, as he will not experience any potential abortion as he is not carrying a child. Please seek advice from a dr, they are trained to deal with the emotional side as well as the medical.

[TonyMetal___86]

And? The boyfriend gets away with it right?
Thisnis what she deserves because she gave him her body and her whole self and because she gave him the decision over her body thinking that he's a real man can hold his responsibility!

I wish if i was in a position where i can change the law so i punish this bastard for his actions!

Even though the girl made a huge mistake by making sex and giving herself to a male before marriage and that's why i always preach to never have sex before marriage and doesn't even have the right to see you naked or sleep with you if he ain't you're husband, period!

Hold the consequences of you're irresponsible actions!

[Apulu_3]

Do your work as a mother, don't abort the child. I guess he doesn't wants the child because he doesn't wants to work that much. After time passes by and everything is well again and stable then he will also start loving the child. Even you can't keep it please don't abort it. The child isn't at fault that you will kill it. It deserves a life. Put it for adoption so someone will love the child at least. In short don't kill the child. The child doesn't deserves it at all.