Any girls out here that don’t compare her man to other men? That don’t talk about her ex like he was this amazing person?

[Finchie40]

It seems every girl I been in a relationship with at some point will start comparing me and start finding flaws in me , or talk about her ex like he was this amazing person? Or check out other guys and say Damn , To me that shit is so disrespectful and makes me feel like I am not good enough for her and then I start resenting her , and distancing myself from her I know girls like to make men jealous at times but when it’s consistent it raises questions of concern , I am not saying I am perfect in any way but I know I don’t do this shit to a girl that I give my heart to , so is there any girl out there that actually has a heart and knows what it means to be in a relationship? and knows how to remove selfishness in a relationship? , if you are out there feel free to hit me up because I am convinced that all girls are this way. The only girls that aren’t this way are the ones that are secretly cheating on their husbands or boyfriends , which I am sorry to say but through my experiences this is true. I hate patting myself on the back and sounding conceited but I am constantly told I am a very likable guy with a big heart , that I am a hard worker and I wear my heart on my sleeve , I am not asking for much , I just want to feel wanted and valued , I don’t want a girl that cheats or flirts with other men , I am not a cheater , I think that shit I degrading and disgusting , I don’t want STD’s I don’t pay for sex and I never will , All I ask for is a girl that wants to be in my arms and loves sex with just me that wants to be a team, Her and I vs the world , but it seems in today’s time that is so hard to find that people are so lost and cocked up , I blame a lot of this shit on social media

[Emiliamazing]

I have never compared anyone I dated to the man that I am with. We are both aware of those we dated/had relations with before we met, but that's about as far as it goes for the most part. When you commit to a long-term relationship with someone, individuals you've been with in the past really don't need to be a part of that relationship. Women and men who bring up previous individuals to their current boyfriend or girlfriend are still hung up on their past, or have no interest in a long-term relationship. They must find the good with the current person and focus on that versus noticing their faults and how they compare to others. Sorry that you are dealing with this.

[Finchie40]

I agree a 100 percent , It’s just straight out disrespectful, And sadly the girls I been in relationships with have done this to me , To the point I don’t tolerate it anymore , if you can’t respect your partner and wear their shoes like
You expect them to wear yours then you are best not to be in a relationship , go live your selfish life and move over and let me find someone that wants to stand by my side , someone that possesses so much negativity and holds onto their past is someone we all need to kick to the curb , Cuz if someone can make you feel like you aren’t good enough for them , then they are just using you and don’t truly love you , they choose everyone else over you , It seems girls today do this and then wonder why they get cheated on or left for someone else because no guy wants a girl that doesn’t compliment him and doesn’t make him feel appreciated, I know everyone has arguments and butt heads from time to time but when it comes down to your partner comparing you and making you feel like you could be a better person , they are more than likely attracted to someone else or already screwing someone else , My ex would get mad at me if I went to kiss her on the lips before we fell asleep , or got mad at me for resting my hand on her thigh or her ass or mad at me for wanting to hold her in my arms , like I wasn't allowed to touch her unless it was on her terms , making me feel like I didn’t matter to her , That I was just this wind up doll that she could play with when it was on her terms , If I tried to initiate intimacy or affection with her I was a pig , all I got was No No No , so I would just walk away or roll over and go to sleep frustrated , sad and angry , But when she was in the mood it was fine for her to touch me and of course I didn’t stop her even though I should of but I wanted our relationship to last and for us to be closer , to the point I didn’t realize I was being emotionally abused. I didn’t ask for much

[inhua]

it becomes worse when they justify this disrespectful behavior by labeling you as "insecure" or as having "fragile masculinity"

this is one more reason, men tend to refer women with no sexual or relationship past given that comparisons are bound to be made when shit hits the fan and emotions are boiling high. any argument then turns into a slurry of insults and she'll use the lowest hanging fruit possible to really hurt at you may it be your height, dick size, financial situation etc.

the converse wouldn't be tolerated and I don't believe dudes are out there comparing the body weight, breast size or facial appearance of their current girlfriend with their ex-girlfriends. the degree of special treatment might be different based on some bad past experiences but otherwise there's a certain boundary that doesn't get crossed.

[likelyOK]

That is your experience and you’re definitely wrong. I don’t do that in a fight. And my ex was the one to bring up his. It’s totally disrespectful no matter who is doing it. And we did have a fight BECAUSE he was comparing my body with someone else’s.

[inhua]

@likelyOK no one has accused you of anything nor did I say my explanations are absolute. as far as your ex is concerned, there are scumbag men who do shit like that and he can go kick rocks for all I care. the reason why I don't believe most men are doing it, is because most men aren't the top 20% of men and they can't risk offending her because she may be the only girlfriend, he'll ever have. guys who do comparisons do it knowing they can replace their girlfriend. that's really it.

[likelyOK]

I didn’t read the whole thing, but i definitely don’t talk about an ex period hardly ever. I would leave if my boyfriend was saying his ex was amazing or complemented her in any way. I really HATED when my ex brought up his ex and we fought before over it and I told him how I felt. Just leave

[Finchie40]

Yea it’s disrespectful period , and when you confront them on it they act like
You are the one that is crazy and that you are just trying to play a victim, when really they are the piece of shit. My thinking is if your ex was so amazing then why are they your ex? So they are best to go back to them because I don’t take exes back , I want a girl that values me and wants me not a girl that holds onto her exes. So yes I leave and realize I deserve better than that shit

[likelyOK]

Exactly the victim game, it is totally respectful and you’re right if it was so great how come it ended so bad. Plus in his case the relationship did not even last a year not close. And honestly if was more well adjusted I would have left him too. However that is the only man I have ever been with that did that noticeably. I assure you their are women who won’t do that. That’s one reason I’m not dating now, I know it’s too soon and I won’t do that to someone else. It hurt me too bad. The crazy thing is I looked up his ex on FB and 7 months after they broke up she was engaged to someone else 😎 😂

[Finchie40]

Bottom line most people are selfish and only really care about themselves and what is best for them without factoring in the person they choose
To be in a relationship with , The only way a relationship can work is if you both make each other Your number 1 priority , and remove selfishness for each other , resisting temptations, wearing each other’s shoes before making decisions , complimenting each other , It won’t always be perfect but you accept each other’s flaws and compromise , understand that you can’t always be right and they are wrong , Respect each other , and sadly Most people can’t do this and then they wonder why they become single again and continue thinking they are justified
For their actions not facing the fact in themselves that they are actually the piece of shit and they continue to use people and string people along for what’s best for them , For me to commit to a girl she has to make me feel wanted and valued and make me her priority , cuz I so do the same for her , I don’t commit to be single , if I wanted to be single then I wouldn’t get into a relationship period , I am perfectly capable of supporting myself , I want a partner , her and I vs the world , I don’t want a girl that just likes the
Convenience of me that strings me along until something better in her mind comes along , so don’t waste my time , don’t compare me , don’t belittle me , don’t lie to me , just be honest with me , if you don’t value me and love me then move over and let me go , don’t waste my time to weigh your options , If I am not receiving on what I am giving consistently , good luck to you and I wish for the best , go live
Your selfish life elsewhere else and allow me to find true love , Girls that ask me for money are wasting their time , I am not going to pay a girl to be by my side , the only girl that will
Get into my pants is one that gives me her heart and trust and loyalty , I don’t want girl that jumps cock to cock because I don’t jump vagina to vagina

[SaoirseS]

I don’t compare people.

[Agape93]

I'll talk about them but I never compare.

[Wise4myage]

I think this is common for both men and women.