How good are you at communicating issues or problems in a relationship?

[Still-alive]

Like if you have something you really need to say or you want them to address. are you good at talking about it? or do you get shy or nervous about it and don't say anything?

5/5 im an expert at communicating concernes in a relationship

4/5 i think im pretty good at communicating problems

3/5 im decent at it... sometimes i just let it go too soon though

2/5 im not good at doing that. i freeze up or just lie when they ask if im ok when im not ok

1/5 im terrible at communicating problems.. i just withdraw and don't speak up about anything like that

I've never been in a relationship before and want to see results

[CrazyGirl2]

I think that I feel safe in saying that I’m quite good at intra-relationship communication. The issue I and most girls i know face is that guys are usually the week link in relationship communication. “Nothing” seems to be most guy’s default answer to both “what’s wrong honey?” And “what are you thinking right now?”

[Vegasrunner]

@CrazyGirl2 That's smart most men have to do that because of what happens when you're honest w/ women.

[admles]

lol what a load of crap, ask a woman if something is wrong and they reply with "I'm fine!" when there's clearly something wrong.

[CrazyGirl2]

@admles That’s awful! I’m really sorry that you have had those experiences in your past and/or current relationships, it’s truly a shame, and actually quite sad that in your lived experience women have felt reluctant, or afraid to share their true feelings with you. I however am not like that. I fully believe in the principle that a “problem shared is a problem halved” and so I have never once said “I’m fine” when asked “what’s wrong” unless there truly was nothing wrong. I believe that open and honest dialog is always the best way to deal with issues that arise in a relationship. And while I am sure that you would rightfully object to any woman who said “all men are the same”, I too object when men (or anyone for that matter) apparently believes that “all women are the same” and proceeds to tells me how I communicate in MY relationships, and I ESPECIALLY object when someone who does NOT know me accuses me of being a liar! As James R. Schlesinger said “Everyone is entitled to his own opinion, but not his own facts."

[admles]

I am very impressed with your maturity and open communication, a lot of people could learn from you. Respect.

[CrazyGirl2]

@admles I thank you MOST sincerely. Respect, back at you.

[Sparkie460]

@CrazyGirl2 I am also very impressed by your maturity. You speak like someone ten years older than you.

[admles]

@Sparkie460 I agree, I was surprised to see she is only 19!

[CrazyGirl2]

@admles and @Sparkie460 Thank you both for your incredibly kind and generous compliment. I do try to be precise in my choice of words and phrasing. But also having a British father with a post graduate degree, and an American mother with multiple post graduate degrees (and is currently the head trauma-surgeon of a major trauma center) both teaching me, and expecting excellence in my use of language as a tool to better communicate my ideas. That REALLY helped me to communicate online more effectively! I will be forever grateful to them. Also, I was forced to grow-up very quickly after my uncle raped me. So I kinda went from being a slightly above average 13yo kid, to having my childhood stolen from me, which forced me to grow-up very quickly! I was also blessed with a very high IQ, so that may contribute to what you perceive as maturity beyond my age. But regardless, I truly and sincerely thank you both for your incredibly kind and complimentary words, both of your compliments means the world to me! 🥰

[Sparkie460]

@CrazyGirl2 You are very welcome. I am deeply sorry that your uncle did that to you. I hope he is living the rest of his life behind bars.

[admles]

@CrazyGirl2 My deepest sympathies for what that scumbag did to you, and if I ever had the means to track that guy down, I would beat him senseless every day for it. I am a few weeks away from marrying a woman who was raped in her youth, so I know how it turns you into a strong woman but no one should ever have to endure that.

[CrazyGirl2]

@admles & @Sparkie460 Thank you both for your concern, it’s nice to know that some guys out there are still gentlemen, and would do whatever it took to protect a young girl from a pervert! As for whether he is behind bars, or available for a good ass-kicking… No, he killed himself when his lawyer received what’s called “discovery”, which means they get a copy of all the evidence the prosecution will be using at trial, when he discovered that not only had i kept contemporaneous notes of everything he did to me and everything he made me do to him, but they got his DNA from the aborted fetus (obviously I couldn't carry it, it would have killed me to carry a baby to term at that age and as tiny as I was!). I do wish I received the satisfaction of looking right at him when they found him guilty, and especially when they sentenced him, but I’ll settle for rotting in hell! @admles I'm so sorry that your fiancé has gone through this also, she has my deepest sympathy. I really hope that she got the help she heeded. It definitely does make us very strong, but your right… No one should ever have to endure that!

[CrazyGirl2]

@Sparkie460 that note below is for you also.

[Sparkie460]

@CrazyGirl2 not only was he a pervert, and a rapist, he was a coward. He took the easy way out. At least you don't have to see him anymore. I'm really sorry you had to go through that.

[CrazyGirl2]

@Vegasrunner Then they are with the WRONG woman, Vegas. Nobody should ever be afraid of what might happen if you tell your “loved one” what you are really feeling. That is really emotionally abusive, and I don’t care if it’s the women OR the men doing it, it’s just wrong! Everyone has a right to express their innermost feelings to their intimate partner, w/o fearing repercussions.

[CrazyGirl2]

@Sparkie460 I completely agree with that, thank you for your support!

[Vegasrunner]

@CrazyGirl2 It's a catch 22. The average guy doesn't have enough leverage to risk losing a women, the guy that is willing to tell her the truth is only willing to do that because he has other options so he can easily replace her. Even in this conversation I'm telling you the truth and you have a point of contention w/ it most guys don't want to deal w/ that so it's easier to just tell women what they want to hear so they can get what they want.

[CrazyGirl2]

@Vegasrunner It’s sad if you confused my concern for contention. (Contention being an assertion maintained in an argument, or a disagreement). In my 1st reply to you I wrote how concerned I was that you would feel afraid or uncomfortable sharing your feelings. If you took THAT to mean I disagreed with you, then I don’t know what to say? As for what you just wrote… I think it’s awful that you believe women are either easily or uneasily replaced as if we were belongings, and that you feel you need leverage (uneven power) to not lose a relationship. Any relationship where one feels they need leverage over the other to stop them from leaving is at best in a dysfunctional relationship, and at worst in an abusive one. You writing “it's easier to just tell women what they want to hear so they can get what they want” is frankly disturbing, and it seems that you’re now purposefully trying to create the very contention YOU brought up. I think it’s time for me to end this conversation now. Bye

[Vegasrunner]

@Crazygirl Whether your concerned or sad is your own personal issue that you will have to work out. I don't know if you agree or disagree I'm simply highlighting your behavior based on your response, it's that exact behavior men don't want to deal w/. I specifically cam because I understand that a woman can easily be replaced for a better version. Most guys don't so they remain quiet which is why this info is new to you. Life, business and relationships are all about leverage which is why people fight so hard to get it. I realize why this is a foreign concept to you so it's NBD. I agree it's disturbing which is why I'm sharing the truth w/ you if I was sharing what you want to hear, I would just do like most men and blindly agree w/ your POV.

[CrazyGirl2]

@Vegasrunner What part of “I think it’s time for me to end this conversation now. Bye” did you NOT understand? Please let me know and I’ll gladly expound!
FIRST: You have the most TOXIC views on women and relationships I think I’ve ever read about here on GaG Or anywhere else! And if you expect anyone to believe that YOU can “replace” a woman quicker than I could get a new man to date, then you are more deluded that your writing would suggest!
SECOND: You have absolutely no idea about anything relating to my behavior within romantic relationships, because all you know about me is what I write, and I hate to be the one to break it to you, but while one can describe behavior in writing, writing in and of itself is NOT behavior.
THIRD: If you treat your personal romantic relationships as you would a business deal, getting as much leverage (ie power over your partner) as you can, well you’ve either only ever had “romantic relationships” with prostitutes, or you are even more pathetic and delusional that I initially suspected! And the reason that getting as much leverage over a romantic partner as one can, is a foreign concept to me is because I am not a psychopath!
Lastly, I believe that the reason other two gentlemen agree with me versus you is because THEY are not psychopaths either, and they have also likely had / or are in healthy romantic relationships, and they understand from their lived experience that treating a romantic partner as someone you need to gain leverage over, is sick and disgusting! If you truly DO believe this, then it’s no wonder you have had such unsuccessful relationships! Yet rather than change your approach, you repeat the same mistakes over and over but expect different results… Now, what is THAT the definition of? I suggest you leave me alone, I despise blocking people, but I will. I will not be replying to you, I respectfully ask you do the same w/ me.

[sheenagwapa]

i'm very expressive. what's the point of being in a relationship if you cannot express yourself but i don't wanna be toxic. with my experience on my ex before i was patient but there are timrs also i scream at him inside the car, push him and pack his clothes a d i love dragging the teddy bears he gave me and throw it out on the garbage that's why if ever i will get into a new relationship i don't want that anymore

[clampfan101]

I’ve been in a very casual yet very strong relationship. We never had any problems with each other whatsoever so there were no problems. (Aside from complex moving situations.) The only reason we’re not together is because she passed away…
I can only assume my ability would start low but get better over time and getting to know each other more if given the chance.

[Guy13]

Sometimes good and sometimes bad communicator. I try 😎

[petitedollbabee]

Very good, but only because my partner is also very good at communicating. If I was with someone who did nothing but shut me down or belittle me for voicing my concerns, I wouldn’t bother communicating.

[c0mlink]

I think I over communicate. Sometimes I need to in order to get an answer out of my girlfriend but other times I breach an issue too soon and make a problem that could have been avoided.

[melanieeeB]

I worked for yeaaars to be a better communicater! And I'm pretty good now and so damn proud of myself haha

[snackthatsmilesback]

I can start. I can say hey I wanna talk about this. But then the talking can get pretty shit cuz I don't wanna sound wrong n dunno the right way to say it

[Twalli]

My girlfriend and I are both neurodivergent. She just has ADHD, while I have Asperger's. If you don't talk to me about problems, I won't know they're there. I extend the same courtesy. If I'm having problems I talk about them.

[Guardian45]

I'm neurodivergent, which is a PITA! I take a LONGTIME to process emotional content and become confused and silent in the short-term or have emotional diarrhea. Eventually, I piece things together properly

[menina]

I'm just here to see the results since I've never been in a relationship.

[SnowedIn]

I am really, really, really good and communicating in a relationship.

[Sparkie460]

My wife and I discuss everything. When I get home from work we talk about how our day was, things that we've been thinking about, if something is bothering us.

[Massageman]

I'm great at it. One problem - I speak in English and my wife listens in ding-a-ling! Yes, I;m kidding.

[GoodGuyBreakingBad]

3/5 im decent at it... sometimes i just let it go too soon though

[CallmeTheKnight]

If I feel or notice an issue, I'm gonna speak on it in private

[TroyDT2]

Great at identifying, too rigid in my method of solving so overall 1/5, but not withdrawn.

[llorando]

I've never been in a relationship before and want to see results.

[NIGHTCAT12]

I chose this one because I have great communication skills I just don't get along with stupidity

[Looksnicholas]

I voted 4/5, I usually am calm and cool.

[AsaKyo]

Sometimes I am, sometimes I'm not

[dudeinohio]

I'm very good