How do I make my boyfriend realize he was abused?

[Anonymous]

It is taking a toll on our relationship rn. His ex has abused him in many ways and he has obvious trauma from it.

However, he has a hard time recognizing that what was done to him was wrong. He has a hard time realizing that his ex never loved or valued him and mistreated him. He makes so many excuses and blames himself for things that he was not responsible for.

He's so manipulated and broken. I don't know where to go to nor what to do. I appreciate any help. I tried looking and haven't found anyone

[CallmeTheKnight]

You can't do a single thing for someone in denial of such thing until they are ready to accept it. It is chaotic and not good for your health either. If he's not trying to go into therapy, you're only wasting your breath.

I'm sorry, but that kind of relationship is not worth saving at all if he doesn't accept the truth of what has happened. Yes you love him, but this constant use of excuses will not sustain your love. I'm not sure if you told him how you feel, but you should do so.

I'd back away and give space. I wouldn't always be available because this kind of stuff requires patience. Nobody is perfect, but you can't let yourself becomes stressed out because of this... This is not your husband... Just your boyfriend. There are no vows keeping you together.

Just take some time away from him but stay in close contact.

[Brando10222]

Listen to me. He is your boyfriend so just sit with him and talk to him about it. Just be honest. Do remember that he is your boyfriend so you can share anything and everything you want.

[DubiousIntentions]

Some people you can't fix. They need professional help and it is more than most people have experience with to be able to help. Sometimes trying to help others brings you down too.

[KrakenAttackin]

You can't do anything for him, he needs to find his own way.

[BarryLiverstone]

How old is he?