Did you ever feel like showing a different personality to all the people around you as maximum of them did not like who you truly are?

[Anonymous]

Your true personality.

Based on a sketch on YT.

[menina]

When I was a teenager, I went through a phase in which I wanted to hang out with the popular girls. I thought that my friends weren't good enough.

So, I started hanging out with them and I changed my behavior. It was a disaster and I felt so lonely. When I went to college for the first time I made the same mistake and it went wrong again.

Since then I decided that I'm not going to change who I am to please other people. If they like me and accept me, great. If they don't it's all good. I can't please everybody, no one does.

[Asker]

You can read one of my replies to other opinions. I have discussed my problem there. That problem is only when I am with people that I can be comfortable with. Professionally? I am like a different person. A good listener, expressively interactive (still in beta😅), etc.

[menina]

I see. Then you act differently around people you know? Like friends and family members?

[Asker]

It just happens, not that often. Most of the time, I can maintain my composure. But sometimes, it just slips by. And my mom considers that point only.

By looking at my friends for their behaviour and other things that others find good enough, I try to behave in that way. But sometimes that a slip of tongue is there.

But now I am all good. The above things happened frequently earlier. At the moment, I almost never lose my composure, as if its my second nature.

[Asker]

But still I feel the finishing touches are remaining to be given. Hence the question.

[menina]

I understand. Well, it's good that you're changing your behavior. It's important to recognize our flaws and working on them. But don't forget to be yourself either, otherwise you'll be lost and fake.

[Asker]

Thanks!😸

[menina]

You're welcome! :)

[menina]

Thanks for the MHO.

[OddBeMe]

I think we all do that. Mimicking the others persona is a goo sales tactic. And I think we do it subconsciously when talking.

What you’re talking about is having more lies than truths depending on the person. Everyone exaggerates but we base it off the truth,

[Asker]

My mom says that I immediately disagree with people. Rather than giving a more diplomatic answer, I flat out reject them and try to put my own sense in it. And this angers many people.

Making me somebody they would seldom interact with.
I am quick to revert back, and not in a good way. Quick tempered too. Without any filter to redesign my thoughts and represent them in a pleasant manner.

She says that is most of my true personality. And I should change it or add a different personality altogether. At least for other people.

I don't know what to do now. Confused.

[OddBeMe]

Yes that would be hard to acquire friends or a girlfriend with that approach. I don’t think it’s the content or even “agreeing” against your will. It’s the manner in which you do it.

Gals like guys who trouble them a bit, but then know how to win em back.

[OlderAndWiser]

I get along with most people around me and I have no incentive to change anything at this age.

[Asker]

That is quite understandable. And I believe it would be really difficult to change too. Am I correct?
My dad is around 52. And his habits do not seem to change.

[OlderAndWiser]

It is not that it is so difficult to change. It is that we are not motivated to change. There were things about myself that I wanted to change when I was younger, and I did. I've already made the changes I wanted to make, and why would I change something that I like about myself? I finished my list.

[NathanDavis]

not really no...

there are two things I am, and that I can be... depending on the circumstances and both are truly

either I keep to myself or I will be more outgoing... among strangers, I usually keep to myself, and among familiar people I am just more outgoing, but... I can switch both things if needed, when needed... and this does not mean that I am pretending either, it is just circumstance and context and I'm still myself... lol

[WhitneySnow]

Nah. I’m good with who I am.