Why have you chosen to remain single?

[Izzy_3991]

Is your singleness long-term or short-term?
If long-term, why?

[DiegoO]

Is not an easy decision. I had to gave up my teen expectations when I realized that remaining single is my best choice.

A LDR had me dreaming with the idea of having a relationship and living in another country.

Context:

It's amazing how one person can cause so much damage. Due to a fraud my father commited for years, using one of my mother lands, he severely damaged the family economy and took away the sense of peace we had.

• Beside that, I am a 100% sure he suffers from a mental disorder. He always have a necessity to accomulate things. Stuff we don't even use! Then, his hygiene. Geez.

The economical damage he did, his possible mental disorder—which includes a lack of higiene—, and his manipulative behavior, are all things I've consider, due to this:

1. My mother has a chronic health problem. There's no one I can trust—beside my siblings—to take care of her, also there's no money to higher someone. It means that my possibilities of working out the house, doesn't match with the responsibility I've assume with her.

• My siblings don't intend to stay in the town. They're looking to work away from home, once again. I t means, they don't want to take the responsibility of taking care of her and give me a chance to work out.

One has a child, the other don't want to live in the town, and he is not fit to take care of anyone who's vulnerable, so that leaves me with the decision of staying. Which I assume, after all my mom has always been there for me.

2. I wanted to end college. I knew I couldn't let go from it. College was my only hope. With an extra effort—despitd my circumstance—I ended college. I didn't leave it for nothing and for nobody.

As the LDR I had started to affect my mental health at a critical point, I decided to breakup and focus in my studies. I completed college, some years ago.

3. Emotionally, I still need to grow to avoid dropping in toxic relationships and becoming emotionally unhealthy. The LDR wasn't healthy at all. It didn't suppose to take not even a year, but, lesson learned.

To make it short: the responsibility with my mom, the legal issues that involves my "dad", the importance of completing college, and my own mental health, beside the unemployment, are things that don't let me see a romantic relationship as a wise option, to go for.

🤷 I just think I'll end up worst if I seek for a relationship. I also feel exhausted to the point of not wanting kids.

[MCheetah]

Several reasons why I've remained single:

1. I'm too physically short for any modern women I'd want to be with, to ever be happy with me or my height. (@ms_facesitter and @Passion_Devil being the only two women on GAG who have even suggested they'd date shorter men, such as me.)

2. I don't spend 12+ hours a week in a gym, nor have any abs, which is what many women expect out of men nowadays.

3. I'm not white (or Hispanic), so dating isn't as easy or me, anyway.

4. I don't like lying, conning, manipulating, or "gaming" a woman, just to be with her. I want to actually be liked for being me.

5. I like the freedom of being able to say what I really think, and feel how I actually feel, and be who I truly am; all of which I (likely) wouldn't be able to, if in a relationship.

6. Though orderly, I like not being weighed down by obligations, commitments, and relationship duties and having freedom. Although I'd love a dog, I know even owning a pet like a goldfish would be too much work for me right now.

7. I have self-respect and despise the idea of simping or bribing a woman into liking me, and aren't going to be some Gold Digger's ATM or paypig.

8. I'm working on myself more, and potentially, not ready for a long-term relationship yet due to that. I'm still a work-in-progress, not that I should need to be perfect to be worthy of a partner.

9. There's not enough suitable compatible quality women left in society who are still single. By compatible quality women, I mean women who are:

- Heterosexual
- Monogamous
- Classy and modest
- Not with you for your money
- Respectful
- Caring
- Normal when it comes to politics and religion
- Childless
- Mentally stable (relatively speaking)
- And actually biologically female

10. The inverse of that last one, there's too many women out there who are:

- Queer/non-straight
- Polyamorous
- Unfaithful
- Whores
- Gold diggers
- Unworthy of respect
- Selfish
- Activists/political extremists
- Religious zealots
- Single mothers
- Abusive
- Or trans/not female

All of those are dealbreakers for me.

That is why I am single, probably indefinitely. Women don't find me and my short height to be attractive, I like being free to be myself, and too many women out there would be trash partners and I'd want nothing to do with them. Thank you for asking.

[MCheetah]

@Ms._Facesitter

[TwiNshichamp1]

I think for someone to be religious is not a big issue, not everyone is religious right? So maybe this may not be the reason.

Reason 3.

They are a lot of Black men who are winning out there, this is not the reason bro, what hinders you is yourself not this. Not everyone is 6'+ tall. I believe there is a lot of women of your height who will accept you. If you like tall women, you should put a lot of effort, now I see this might be the reason.

Reason 5

I don't understand this, is that you never got someone who will be on the same page as you? Or what is the problem with your opinions or Ideas?

Reason 2

You can do it man 😂🙌🏾 Fitness is so great. So now also this is on your hands, so if you really need to be "attractive" as nowdays men should be, you should hit the gym. Now is up to you.

Reason 8.

Kudos for this, I myself still working on myself before being with anyone. I think every man should do this for self improvement.

[MCheetah]

@TwiNshichamp1
You can think what you want, but I know who I am and what my limitations are, better than you do.

I don't really want anyone religious, as I don't respect most religions. It's not a dealbreaker, but I'd prefer someone who isn't into that.

As for reason five, whenever you're in a relationship with someone, you're forced to make sacrifices, censor yourself, and stop doing things you'd otherwise want to do, for the sake of the other person, especially considering how easily offended most women get. So yeah, I don't want to have to censor myself for the sake of a partner or hold things in I want to say.

And no, I don't want to spend 12 hours a week doing something miserable like cardio. Especially if someone won't accept me as I am or without a six-pack. F*ck the gym! I'm active enough outside of the gym.

[TwiNshichamp1]

@MCheetah Alright man that's good for you. We all make choices that's why everyone is free to make his/her decisions in this world.

[CubsterShura]

I was temporarily single by choice because I left a relationship that was quite long it was for a few years. Later on I planned to delve into some casual dating slowly and just get to know more men, but ended up dating a guy I met pretty soon and it ended pretty soon too.

I'm single by choice yet again. This time, it's mainly because I'm in the process of sorting out my mental health issues, and I'm still in the trial-and-error stage with medication and therapy. Sometimes I really wish I had someone by my side to give me support, comfort and accountability, but I can understand this is very mentally laborious for anyone to deal with.

[Vegasrunner]

@CubsterShura you're single by choice alright just not yours.

[BlueScorpio]

Being single can actually be a blessing for you. It give you time to think, heal, and improve whatever you haven't dealt with in your personal life. To many people jump from relationship to relationship and wonder why they feel more hollownthan last, it's cause they aren't healing and letting themselves be alone.

Now besides that, the dating world has gotten messy and there are people who are decing that being alone is better than being miserable in a relationship.

[Guy13]

No one wants to be Single just as no one wants Rejection. Can we be honest about this ⁉️ If one wanted Singlehood, one would not be on this website. One would be with the Monk at Buddhist temple in a state of extreme stoicism or the guy at the Hindu temple in the same seclusion. We are made to integrate physically with another one of an opposite physical Form and Function.

[Sasha0426]

Then can I make a guy’s life a living hell with my toxicity?

[Anonymous]

I honestly feel very secure in myself, not to sound uppity, but when I look around at most people, they are so dependent on others for happiness. I have realized that living that way does nothing but hold you back.

You can’t expect other people to make you happy. You have to be your best self and be happy with yourself first and foremost, and then other people see that and other likeminded people will be like “oh they know what’s up” and from there, you will attract true respect and admiration into your life.

Most people are too ego-centric and emotion-driven. I just can’t deal with that. Once you’re able to see through it, you will realize that you’re actually ahead of the game. Those people will make absolute fools of themselves in front of you and it’s like you know exactly what’s going on… you can’t be controlled by them, and they can’t cope.

So at 32 years old, I remain single, just looking for someone that can just simply be secure in themselves, chill, relate in conversation, and enjoy my company, without lofty expectations. There’s a certain degree of open mindedness that I feel most people just do not have and will not have if they haven’t experienced life outside of the bubble that they’ve grown up living in.

It’s like I’ve reached a point in life where I can almost physically SEE it in people. Like “yep, they’re just like everyone else” and you just can’t have that higher level of respect for someone when you see them as just one of the hive mind. It’s like a toxicity that’s embedded in the average person because they never face adversity or themselves and grow as individuals because they rely on others for their own happiness, and then deflect when they don’t get it… victim mentality.

Nope. Not dealing with that!

[Heolurt]

First reason was Health reasons, the constant rejections (100% rejection rate) started to cause mental and physical pain.

I understand females are sitting here thinking rejection is just being told no but no it's a lot more than that and females are some of the worst, meanest creatures on this planet, being told "no" "no thanks" "I have a boyfriend" stuff like that is perfect to hear but females like to humiliate and try and wreck guys completely or maybe it was just me they did all that shit to.

Second reason was because I'm too ugly, been told so by countless females including my mom and family, been told so my entire life, the harshest rejections I've gotten explained this to me in various ways.

Third reason it was my choice giving up trying to date but ultimately I had no choice about being single for the rest of my life, that was predestined with my birth.

Don't come in the comments saying confidence and self-esteem because when I did have both they did nothing for me. An I know what I look like, so don't say I'm not ugly because I guarantee if I did show my face pretty much everyone on this site would think I'm ugly, they might not say so but they'd think it.

[Little_Bumblebee]

I was in a really unhealthy relationship. And when I got out of it I worked really hard to get over it.
After a fee months I hit up a guy I'd had a previous fling-ish with and we started to see each other slowly.
But I found out I wasn't ready to date and that, he wasn't the one for me.

I've been doing my best to heal from everything, and to get my shit together.

I also really do like to be single, I'm in no rush.
I don't want to rush into a relationship just to be in one.
Just being in a random relationship isn't going to make me feel happy or fulfilled.

There's a lot of perks being single. Not having to sleep next to someone that snores, takes the duvet or anything else, is a huge one.

[Datboi65]

Long-term. To tell you the truth, I do not believe in dating and casual relationships. I come from a religious household and we do things differently. If I feel ready for a "relationship" then that better mean ready to get married, which right now I'm not.

I have at least 8 years and at most 14 years more years to get my things in order before that, because I have chosen a very academically demanding field that is on its own a life commitment (you can make your own guess on that one). My late 20s will most likely be full of work (80 hour work weeks) and hopefully in my 30s I will be working less hours with more pay. That would probably be the time I will start looking, but for now I have to focus on studies and self-improvement.

[Telekinetic-Potato]

Most of the women I was talking to were just people to pass the time with while I was feeling sorry for myself about stuff.

I needed to work on myself so last year I told myself I'm not going after any woman until my new production company is generating income. The change in how much I'm getting done is low key staggering.

I love women, but they're a distraction. They need a lot of attention, they see it as your responsibility to cater to them and for them to offer nothing besides their body. I'm thinking maybe that will change when I have more status.

[DoctorSex]

Looking to return back home, I own 5 acres of land and I'm currently building a 9 bedroom house on it.

Currently looking to sit another certification in my field of I. T so that I can comfortably move back to Africa and have the relevant skills for their level of infrastructure.

I have no interest in western minded women. God bless them but not for me. I also intend on marrying 2 wives as I want 8 children within a 4-5 year span. 3 sons minimum are a requirement. In order to feed that many mouths I have a lot to do first.

Kind regards,

DoctorSex

[Tina19]

I have always been into dating or relationship unless this year in 2022 i realised that relationship can become a burden for me after a while it is not only about love but responsibilities that come along with it and then i found somewhere that i might lose my freedom too i realised i want more from life i want to enjoy and celebrate life everyday and my partner might not like that idea as most people are stressed or depressed, unhappy even if they have everything i have lot of emotional support has never been a problem i have lot of people in my life for it maybe i was a kid back then and i only wanted a relationship because people around me were having it I don't want a boyfriend just because my friend is having one

[Anonymous]

Because relationships are a waste of time and emotion, so is dating. Almost no relationships last the rest of the couples lives. Almost all end in break up and even half of marriages fail and that’s married people - those who’ve gone to the greatest length to make their relationship permanent. And I’m not interested in anything temporary. For life or nothing, so nothing it is. You can’t trust people today either anyway. They lie, cheat and leave whenever things aren’t new, exciting and easy anymore. Nope. I’m happier on my own. So much more emotionally stable when single and don’t have to deal with a dudes bullshit.

[Kori1236]

Right now it’s long term by choice. I need to get my life in order. Get my career established, get through school and get my finances straightened out. I need to work on myself, red flags and issues from previous relationships because a new person doesn’t need to not should they have to deal with my issues. It’s the conscious effort on my part to make myself the person I want to be. When I achieve that or at the very least make progress then I will look into dating again.

[MysticAngel5000]

I was in a long-term relationship that ended nearly a year ago. It ended rather iffy and I ended up getting burned. Well, lessons have been learned and I've moved on with my life. I don't see any reason to force a relationship. I am open to that whenever the time is right. But I am in no rush. I am perfectly capable of being on my own and enjoying my single life.

[FatherJack]

I have endured a marrige of 15 years & binned my ex 7 years ago & have been a single dad ever since. Still have my 16 y/o daughter with me , my19 y/o son at Uni now. One reason I haven't forgotten the way I was treated by mothers when taking my kids places back in the early days of separation , they were hostile , because they assume all men are sex crazed / pedos & no good. Also I like being single too much , the thought of dating , especially nowadays , makes me shudder... a big NO !! Women & men are not realy that compatible , the genders have totally opposite needs & wants , hence conflict is the norm in most hetero relationships.

[Aiko_E_Lara]

Life here is a mess can i don't want to settle for less like what lots of people here do. I mean it's just common for people here to just get married and live life with a simple minimum wage that couldn't even get them to afford a nice house with luxurious stuff first world people have. I just have a bigger goal to achieve and put my relationship aside. I want to have a girlfriend or "wife" (quotation marks because i don't plan me getting married) when i can finally afford family trips and a luxurious lifestyle. What pressured me to strive for it is because i have so many online friends from first world countries the i've always wanna catch up. If i say i wanted to date a nerdy girl, or maybe a girl with common interest, it's quite hard to find them here. A lot of them are in the west as I've noticed.

[Aiko_E_Lara]

I have a very westernized mindset ever since i started so having many online friends that's why i find it hard to relate to people here

[MichaelEspinoza]

Well here's my opinion on this , I believe if a person by their own choice decides it's best for themselves to remain single then it's in they're best interest to be single. I believe a person who is single has more time devoted to prayer 🙏 & spending time in God's word. Or some people just aren't ready for marriage

[_Cherrypie__]

Some reasons as of why I'm single:

• I love my alone time way too much, that's also why I have -0 friends. :,) I don't like most people anyway, but it's most likely due to my own flawed thinking. -~-
• I'm not exactly the most mentally balanced person out there. And I don't think anybody else should have to deal with that. :<)
• The only reason I'd ever want a relationship is because of all the expectations and fantasies I have of a one. Reality is often different.
• I also need to be worthy of love first. If there is no reason why someone should pick me over someone else, why should they even bother with me? If I have standards for someone, it's only fair for someone else to have them for me too.
• Speaking of being worthy of love, there are still many sides of me I dislike. Those need to be fixed first. <.<
• Speaking of fixing them, It's a slow progress. But still making some!

[Looksnicholas]

I'm also 28. Mixture of reasons, both by design and it seems destiny, but also because seeing many relationships seem to be full of fighting, lol, and infighting, lol, I for one am happier without that drama.

After all, I much prefer family and close friends. They're all I ever need. And if I ever get lonely someday in the far far future, I could always buy a puppy or a cat. Or a robot by then :)

[Looksnicholas]

@izzy_3991 great question 😊

[NathanDavis]

the pandemia got me really busy and because of the nature of my job (s) it left me with little or no time to dedicate properly to a relationship, at least not in the way I prefer them to be...

so I just wasn't actively looking to engage into one, and as of today, with the pandemia "no longer there" I have not actually considered to be a short, long or midterm status... whatever happens will happen, and when it does... lol

[SwellStroke]

From my experiences in marriage (just a few weeks shy of 4 years) then a relationship that was very unhealthy. Then returning back to my hometown to help my parents *too many family connections to even care to try and wade through*. I have been mostly willingly single.

[mstbooblover]

Although I don't mind living single, that was not really a choice because my wife passed away. At my age it seems difficult to find some lady willing to share my life. I'm not complaining at all, because there are advantages to be single. For instance no justifications to give for anything I want to do. Let me still face that I'd love to share all kinds of activities with a friendly girlfriend... ;0)

[crossdressingrihno]

So in my mid teens I was a player. I didn’t do it on purpose I just realize what I was doing. Well ado became 18 I stopped wanting to be who I was so I decided to just be single, however recently a flirty Latina has made me Change my mind. She flipped a switch in my head and I can’t shut it off