Need advice & please be kind. My husband cheated on me a couple years ago…?

[Anonymous]

My husband cheated on me with prostitutes a couple years ago. We have worked hard through our issues & are still together and doing great. But i have my moments. I still have all the evidence (text and phone numbers) saved on my phone. At times I find myself go back through them. I’m not sure why. Should I go ahead and delete it all? Or is that something I need to keep?

[D_Bone_Steak]

It's a reminder to yourself that it was real... that it happened. I wrote journals, like complete books with all the details... it was a way to channel my rage, but I did start to notice I would just hampster weel over the same points over and over. Reading it now just brings me back to a dark place.

It's not going to go away until you can put it behind you. You have every right to be hurt that it happened, but reminding yourself about it is more like hurting yourself. Learn the lessons from it, but carry on. The people around us are flawed and have done some fucked up shit... we can dwell on that or just accept that they are human, which means they'll let us down from time to time.

[Asker]

I love this response so much! Thank you!!!

[UniquelyBasic]

Cheating is one of those things that can stay in your head for as long as you're with that person that cheated so sometimes its better to call it quits. Most of the time it will cause you to resent him, and you won't truly trust him fully anymore. And even after years you still go through the messages showing it still bothers you.

[Asker]

I completely understand what you’re saying. I will say we have never been this happy. Before we barely talked and hadn’t been intimate in close to a year. Not that that makes it ok… just want to give the full picture.

[UniquelyBasic]

Yeah it probably takes a lot to forgive someone who cheated but if the relationship you two have built is worth it and you believe its not going to happen again you should try to salvage it.

[AmeerX]

You really love him. Had it been any other woman, she would have divorced him. I think you should delete it now that you have forgiven him.

God I love women like you. Your loyalty is exceptional but don't feel bad. Be available to him. Tell him you will be what he wants but he shouldn't cheat

[Asker]

I have. Our sex life is better than ever. Mostly because we now aren’t really embarrassed to say what we want and like.

[AmeerX]

Actually I wish my life with my future wife is just like yours. May it be thick or thin, we still love each other I hope.

So, forget the past and move on))

[Asker]

Thank you for that. As much as it hurts and I doubt I ever completely get over it, I just can’t imagine life without him. Nobody is perfect and if he’s willing to work through this and change I think it’s going to be ok.

[AmeerX]

You are the lovers I read in stories. So tolerant and loyal. I hope you have wonderful days :)

[Asker]

I hope he doesn’t ever do it again. I don’t think I’ll get through it.

[AmeerX]

Believe in the power of Love. You shouldn't feel bad about it:)

[Anonymous]

Depends emotionally what's best for you. I might be inclined to keep it until I was emotionally bored with it. Like it had no relevance.

Is cheating with a prostitute as bad as cheating with another woman? I would have thought it a mechanical process, health concerns aside.

[SnowedIn]

I'm sorry that happened.

I'd delete/get rid of. It will help you move forward and have a fresh outlook.

[Asker]

Thank you.

[WTFdivorce]

If you are doing great then go ahead and delete them. it appears it bothers you so delete and move on.

[Anonymous]

He cheated on you with prostitutes, plural? Well, I don't think that is something you can ever completely get over. I would say delete them when you feel ready to do so.

[Asker]

Yes, unfortunately plural. At the time We were worse than roommates. Never talked and hadn’t been intimate in almost a year. NOT making excuses for it. Just want to get the entire picture out there.
I guess there is really no reason. To keep them as all it causes is heartache, but I just haven’t been able to yet & thought I’d ask opinions. Thanks

[Anonymous]

Does the fact that it was with prostitutes make it better or worse?

[Asker]

I’ve always thought better… because it was just for sex ( or as he has always said only BJs) and not anything else.

[Emanon25]

Do you wanna talk in private?

[Asker]

We can.

[Emanon25]

Dm me

[Asker]

I have to be level 2 to message. I just followed you…..