I cheated on my husband?

[Anonymous]

I'm so so sorry for start. Really, now I feel terrible and I have a hole in my chest. I know I'm gonna get some hate over this as I should and I deserve it. So my husband has cheated on me before with his friend's girlfriend, he's mentioned that he's only with me because he afraid to be alone, and he sometimes is gone for long periods of time. Lately he's been hard to reach out to and everyday I feel like he hates me but I adore him so much, it's so painful. Well my bestfriend that I've know since before my marriage has always been around for me let's call him "B", I helped him get his career on a roll and he's been mental support forever. I know his wife well and we often have "girl days" so what I did behind her back kills me even more. So B was taking his kids to my mothers house for her birthday (his mother is out of country so he is super close to mine), he came to my door and asked if I wanted him to take my three little ones as well so I could clear my mind. Yes, he did and he came back to my house with some fruit my mom sent back with him. He set it on The island I was looking through the bag and he hugged me from behind, I asked him what bothered him because this behavior was unusual. He said "I never liked him" I said yeah I know, I turned around and he kissed me. I don't know why but it felt so good we kept going and now I feel disgusting. I had sex with my bestfriend behind my close friend and husbands back. Help me, should I tell my husband? I'm panicking and I don't know what to do

[Anonymous]

Oh, man. First of all, calm down. It's not the end of the world. You're gonna be okay. :)
My sister's husband cheated on her before. It broke her heart after she found out. It pissed her off too because she was always faithful to him. Not only did this happen to my sister, but it happened to my mom, too. My dad was never home and she knew why. Every time she tried to confront him, he turned it around and blamed her. My step brother did the same thing to my sister.
So just knowing that your husband cheated on you in the past just makes this kind of difficult. If you tell him, there's no doubt that word will get out and you two will have a big fight (your best friend will find out too).
Also, it's not healthy for your three kids, either.
Personally, and this is just my opinion, I don't think you should tell him. Have a talk with your friend and try to put it behind you guys.
If you don't want to do that, maybe you two could get together. I don't know about that though. It could just be lust...
You're still young. Please don't let guilt take over you. Good luck, friend. I hope everything works out for you.

[Opinion Owner]

I mean my brother-in-law Wtf step brother?

[Goldie757]

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[Red_Arrow]

Your husband does not respect you. He has cheated on you with his friend's girlfriend (obviously does not respect him either). He goes away for long periods of time. He is only with you because he is afraid of being alone. I see NOTHING there that is salvageable. But I admire your interest in counseling. Set up appointments for couple's counseling and see how it goes. But be prepared for it to fail. He does not seem interested in your marriage at all.

Then it will likely be best to end the marriage.

[Lovelinefan]

Sounds like you're living in a world of chaos. You probably shouldn't be married to the guy you're married to, it doesn't sound like a healthy relationship at all. And as for everyone screwing their friends significant other's behind their backs? I vote get a divorce, hop on a plane, and start new some place far away. That's a LOT of chaos and destruction you're leaving behind... not only your marriage, but two FRIENDS marriages / relationships?

Move away and hope that your friend never finds out.

[JuicyBrain]

There are kids involved...

[Asker]

I can't just leave my kids and career behind. I need an adult solution to a childish mistake. I'm thinking counseling and keeping the secret from his wife and carrying on like it never happened this never letting it happen again

[Red_Arrow]

The life you have been living is not good and you will never enjoy it. You will likely cheat again if you stay where you are.

[Lovelinefan]

Well, I don't want to slather the guilt on because you seem to know that what you did was wrong, but I guess ya should have thought of the career and kids before all this. But what's done is done. I agree, not letting your friend find out is ideal, but unfortunately you're not the only one who knows what happened. You can keep quiet, but can/will he?

At the very least you should probably see a marriage councilor or a therapist, that might be a good place to start.

Tough situation, and we're all human and make mistakes. I hope that you can recover from this, learn from your mistakes, and that you have a happy and fulfilling life. Seriously, good luck and I hope you can work things out :-)
From one imperfect human to another...

[Anonymous]

Can't give you too much hate here. It sounds like everyone involved in this situation is just toxic. I mean it's BAD but it seems like everyone has other issues besides infidelity. You need to talk to a professional 'cause this entire scenario is a fucking dumpster fire.

The real victims here are the kids and possibly your "buddy's" wife. My mom's boyfriend is still dealing with infidelity in his first marriage. His kids at the age of 30-40 are still deal with shit that happened decades ago. Kids are smart, do you really want to stay in a marriage where you two just cheat on each other like this? Your kids don't need to grew up around that. Good luck with everything.

[JuicyBrain]

Wow... That is a complicated matter. I can't say I have pity for your husband, but your close friend, damn... Poor her.

If you tell her, she loses a friend and a husband, and you might lose a husband too.
Damn...

What is your plan?

[Asker]

Gosh I'm so fucked. Really, between the guilt, and anxiety I'm freaking out. I'm thinking about keeping the secret about the sex and never do it again (we are not in love it was purely animal comfort) and then I'm going to arrange marriage counseling. Plus lots of wine and church... I hope I can clean up my mess

[JuicyBrain]

Hey... I share your pain. Let's just say I know the kind of situation you're in. You have to learn to forget. Convince yourself it was a dream. It never happened. Never tell anyone. A-NY-ONE. Not even yourself. So much so that even you won't be sure it it happened or if it was a dream. Telling people will keep it alive. It will get easier with time. What's done is done, there's no way to turn back time. You found yourself in a time of need and your friend was too. You did each other a favor. Nothing more. No need to wreak havoc in everybody's life.
Why would you suddenly need marriage counseling? Nothing happened.
There is no mess to clean, I don't know what you are talking about...

[Asker]

Thank you, I mean my marriage before this happened is not the best. My husband is distant so I think we should see a counselor to try bring us closer again

[JuicyBrain]

pm me

[Rocky96]

You can stop it for ahead, but you should not tell your husband.
Whats happened... thats happened..

[Anonymous]

Probably best not to say anything if my wife was cheating I'd just a soon not no about it