I’m too afraid to talk to my partner about negative feelings I have out of fear of them thinking negatively of me, how do I deal with this?

[Anonymous]

I want to have a healthy relationship. I know I can overthink sometimes but it’s because I genuinely care a lot. I’m worried I’m going to be seen as a pain, but when I get upset I can’t hide it and get distant. I feel we both are. I’m so afraid of problems I just try so hard to avoid them it weighs on me. I don’t understand how to deal with this

[caring__1]

The problem is people feel entitled to focus on negatives. Whatever direction you choose to focus is the direction you'll go. If you're critical of negative, you'll get more negative. If you're appreciative of positive, you'll get more positive. Always focus on what you value rather than what you want to eliminate. Negative tends to be filler when we don't know what is positive. You can say "This works better for me" or "It means a lot to me when you do this." Dwelling on the negative is like cussing out the guy who cut you off on the freeway. It doesn't impact the other person and just punishes yourself. If you want a healthy relationship, never accuse, assume, blame, criticize, demand, rationalize or tell people what they should or shouldn't do. When we feel criticized, we tend to become resistant to change and less likely to take the feelings of the criticizer into consideration.

[slatyb]

Negative feelings? Abput your partner? About yourself? We all have negative feelings sometimes. You should feel comfortable talking to your partner about them.

[Katyalov]

What’s a partner if you feel like you can’t trust him? You need to get that worked out first cause if you can't trust then you have nothing with that person. Get counseling /therapy

[QuietVerbena]

You need better communication with your partner

[Asker]

It’s easier said than done. I will try talking to them today

[QuietVerbena]

Good idea

[Guy13]

Visit counselor instead of here.