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My boyfriend and I met when I was 17 and we’ve been long distance ever since.
Recently, he asked me to move several states away with him, to a state that I don’t really want to move to. I don’t want to move away from my family. I’ve never moved before and my parents don’t even know about him. I don’t want to move out there, and it just makes me feels stressed and anxious even thinking about it actually doing it. I’ve told him this, but to me, it feels like he’s not actually listening to me.
He keeps sending me all these instagram posts about change is uncomfortable and stuff like that.
I feel like I’m sort of being forced to or ignored?
I wouldn’t have a job when I went out there and I don’t exactly have the skills or experience for the type of job I would want yet if I were to go out there. I’m still in college.
He says things like “don’t you trust me to take care of you?” Or stuff about us being partners so why won’t I rely on him.
I don’t want to hurt his feelings, but I’ve told him time and time before and I’m an independent person and I don’t want to rely on him because I don’t like it.
Am I being selfish for wanting to do what I want to do so I can achieve what I want from life? I want to finish school or at least get close to halfway. I want to move into my own place for a while, away from my parents so I can focus on being more of an independent adult. I don’t want to move that far away from everyone I know over here.
It’s been making me feel depressed for weeks and he keeps getting mad at me.
I’m not sure if I should just move out there with him, knowing that I won’t be happy for a long while and knowing that I’ll be feel anxious and stressed and knowing it’ll be a big mental toll on me.
He just wants me close to him again, and I understand that. He can’t move because of his job, and I understand that. I just don’t understand why he gets to choose what he wants for himself yet I feel like I’m being forced to choose.
What am I supposed to do?
Recently, he asked me to move several states away with him, to a state that I don’t really want to move to. I don’t want to move away from my family. I’ve never moved before and my parents don’t even know about him. I don’t want to move out there, and it just makes me feels stressed and anxious even thinking about it actually doing it. I’ve told him this, but to me, it feels like he’s not actually listening to me.
He keeps sending me all these instagram posts about change is uncomfortable and stuff like that.
I feel like I’m sort of being forced to or ignored?
I wouldn’t have a job when I went out there and I don’t exactly have the skills or experience for the type of job I would want yet if I were to go out there. I’m still in college.
He says things like “don’t you trust me to take care of you?” Or stuff about us being partners so why won’t I rely on him.
I don’t want to hurt his feelings, but I’ve told him time and time before and I’m an independent person and I don’t want to rely on him because I don’t like it.
Am I being selfish for wanting to do what I want to do so I can achieve what I want from life? I want to finish school or at least get close to halfway. I want to move into my own place for a while, away from my parents so I can focus on being more of an independent adult. I don’t want to move that far away from everyone I know over here.
It’s been making me feel depressed for weeks and he keeps getting mad at me.
I’m not sure if I should just move out there with him, knowing that I won’t be happy for a long while and knowing that I’ll be feel anxious and stressed and knowing it’ll be a big mental toll on me.
He just wants me close to him again, and I understand that. He can’t move because of his job, and I understand that. I just don’t understand why he gets to choose what he wants for himself yet I feel like I’m being forced to choose.
What am I supposed to do?
What Girls & Guys Said
Opinion
2Opinion
I went through this but neither of us forced the other into a decision. I moved to Sweden to be together with my girlfriend that I met in High School at 17 years old. She was an exchange student at the time and we were not suppose to be dating. We turned out to be each other's soul mates. We went back and forth between the U. S. and Sweden. I eventually got a visa to live there. I had no college yet, but who would give up a perfect relationship. After a year I felt I needed to get a degree. I had to choose stay or come back and go to school. Toughest decision of my life. I am a nurse now for 28 years, with 3 kids and still maintain contact with her. I am getting divorced and we are now talking about retiring together. We never made demands of each other though. His demands of you and your want for schooling are big red flags. Let him go, if it is meant to be it will all come back together in good time. Do you first.
don't move. finish school first.
Even if it means we’ll break up?
he's just 1 guy. there are lots of guys in the world. don't mess up your whole life. what if you move out there and then break up. you'd be screwed.
That’s solid, you’re right