How do I resolve this?

[zazzy_mazzy]

I have had a guy room mate for 4 years and he is leavimg soon but for 4 years he has been nothing but respectfup... helping and a great room mate but he confessed last week to having a thing for me and that he wanted to have a intimate dinner before he left... i didn't know how to say no. During it there was an instance which was intimate and it embarrassed me and i haven't been able to talk with him since. I can't tell what was it here and you can ask me in pvt if you want but how do i resolve the issue with him. i dont want the room mate relationship to end this way !

[JPresidente]

I would try to sit him down and inject some humor and make him feel comfortable. Just say “You’re my bro but I just want to keep us as friends” Compliment him on all of his good qualities as a roommate too so he will see you in a good light. Guys hate being friend zoned when they like a girl and he’ll be upset for a few days but he will get over it. If he was offering friends with benefits then you gotta do the same but just tell him you’re not ready for something like that.

[zazzy_mazzy]

I dnt know how to approach after all that

[JPresidente]

Do you mean you need an idea on how to bring it up and talk or how to face him after you’ve told him?

[zazzy_mazzy]

Yeah specially after what happened.. i was so embarrasses

[JPresidente]

Was it a sex act that went wrong somehow?

[zazzy_mazzy]

Kinda yes... not wrong or such but dnt know how to explain it here

[JPresidente]

Or rather not say?

[JPresidente]

Thanks for MHO!

[SlavicThor]

If he respects himself he'll leave and not look back unless you reach out to him so I doubt he'll stay as friends. But try and sit down with him and set boundaries reinforce the idea that you don't want anything romantic with him at all don't lie to him and say you're 'not looking for anything' be straight up honest with him and address the idea of being platonic with him

[zazzy_mazzy]

It was weird tbh

[SlavicThor]

I know, especially if you're just not comforable with the idea of dating him

[zazzy_mazzy]

Plus with what happened

[SlavicThor]

If he does decide to stay friends with you... hey may be doing it for the chance of waiting to hit on you again. So it's a hit or miss when the bloke decies to stay after admitting feelings

[MrCommodore]

If you want him only as a friend then just tell him, as it sounds like you have no desire to be intimate with him.

[Hallix26]

In my experience there is always just a lack of clear and willing communication. You need to grab the bull by the horn and talk it out in all simplicity. It's not as complicated as it feels.

[zazzy_mazzy]

Okay.. thanks

[Hallix26]

Welcome.

[Asking_for_knowledge]

Did he ever try to sleep with you?

and what do you mean it was intimate?

[QuietRunner]

he is taking his shot at asking you for sex or a relationship

if you want to turn him down he shouldn't be too mad and move on

if he becomes obsessive then that is an issue

[AustColombiangirl]

could always become friends with benefits