Is this true? Do you agree with it?

[Anonymous]

My mother always say if a woman wants a happy relationship or marriage choose a man who loves you more than you love them

[SnowedIn]

I've enjoyed reading the comments below. I also think that I like your mom.

For the most part, I agree with the people who say that there needs to be equality of love, there needs to be balance. But, I have a hunch that your mom might be seeing the long game. Where if you choose that person who has such huge great love, and the two invest in the marriage the one person's huge great love will generate a reciprocal great love and the two feed off each other and grow as the marriage does. None of that is to knock either your mom or the folks calling for balanced love, but I think I can see maybe where your mom was going with that.

[SnowedIn]

thank you for MHO

[Guy13]

I agree with your Mother.

If a man or woman "loves" the partner at a sexual level then that "she'll serve you" will dissipate. If she respects him and that is wrapped up in her lust for him then she will seek his approval and returned expressions of love everyday of her life.

[OlderAndWiser]

Your mother has a very self-centered vew of what a relationship should be.

[AviatorTom]

I've never found a way to measure love, so I must disagree.

[Lusciousphilippa28]

I was given similar advice growing up, but then heard a 56 year old man share that a woman needs to like a man more as she will respect him, love him, and be more willing to follow his lead, as time goes on. Women who like the man less are at risk of walking out of the relationship, mistreating him as weakling and less likely to compromise, as time goes on. Disrespect is higher if she likes him less. As sad as this sounds, I believe this latter finding is true in a number of cases.

Think of the women who expect (aka demand) their men to live up to multiple expectations they have for any man. It's the women who are running that show. The more he doesn't live up to it, the more stress is placed on him, the more flak is said to him, and the more likely he'd be pushed around. This is not how men should (or anyone at that) should be treated. Bullying your SO and then complaining that you're the victim in a relationship with a man who does "nothing." Very sad.

[UmbrusNightshade]

To be honest, this sounds like terrible advice and implies your mom has had bad relationships.


If you are looking to be less in love than your partner that is essentially saying you want the power in the relationship and having things skew one way or the other almost always ends in heartache.


A healthy relationship will be equal in most things, but especially in love.

[Lionman95]

No I wouldn´t agree since it bring you in a position where he does anything to please you and turn into a doormat.
I would rather say choose a guy that has a vision for his life you´re willing to join. Like choose a guy that has values you can agree with and has a vision and a middle ground for his life where you can partake and where you feel appreciated. Don´t take a guy that makes you the center of his life because it might not be funny for the both of you.

[Agape93]

No idea. I was told a good marriage was devotion and submission to a husband and then God above all. I was told to have kids, be obedient and be silent unless given permission to speak.

@PrettyPriya thoughts? You have a better sense of this than I do

[PrettyPriya]

I respectfully disagree with the asker’s mother. It isn’t about who loves who more or anything like that. Marriage and relationships are about mutual trust, respect, love, etc etc. it is a partnership. A team.

My husband and I each have our strengths and weaknesses. We both contribute to our marriage and before that our relationship. I don’t mean chores or financially.

I mean we contribute emotionally. It is an investment and to say that I love my husband less than he loves me would just be a lie. We both love each other very deeply.

How do you measure this anyhow? I’m a 6 on the love meter and he is a 9? I don’t get it. Either you love or you don’t.

[Anonymous]

but how can you be happy if YOU don't love him so much? :/ I suppose she means instead if you never want to be left find someone that loves you more than you do them because in that sense even if you don't love them so much they do so they won't leave you, that doesn't necessarily imply happiness, just a higher percentage of assurance that you will be the one that leaves first lol if something were to go awry.

[dustybiker]

I couldn’t do that to someone. It’s sacrificing yourself too. Wasting both of your time. Chances would be high it would end in divorce with emotional damage.

[Anemone978]

No if you do that you will soon find out he isn't the one. You both have to pretty much love each other the same for it to work.

[Telekinetic-Potato]

I think that your mom is very intelligent but you don't realistically have control over who loves who the most.

[CateM]

I'd want someone who loves me just as much as I love them

[boggboss]

Nope sounds more like she will get bored or become attracted to someone else

[CallmeTheKnight]

Honestly, that is foolish advice to go by. How on earth that will make you happy when it's one sided like that

[PatriceONeal]

What a disgusting and manipulative way to treat the man you want to be in love with. Tell your obviously single mom to kick rocks.

[Asker]

You got a feminine name

[PatriceONeal]

He's a famous black comedian my name is David.

[PatriceONeal]

Your single mom teach you to talk like that too?

[Asker]

No I had a classmate back in college her name is Patrice so I figured you got a feminine name

[PatriceONeal]

You'll go far in life making brash assumptions

[Asker]

Lol I don't know if thats feminine cuz its English considering Im from Asia its just first time I heard it so I thought its a womans name

[PatriceONeal]

Just apologize instead of lying

[Anonymous]

OK, by why should he love you more? What have you done to earn that. Just curious, is your mother a single mom?

[Asker]

Lol she is widow

[-Mad-]

I thought thats a guys code when it comes to dating.

[Hardworkingguy]

That seems kind of weird... Don't both needd to feel something about each other? it's an equal effort

[KrakenAttackin]

It's the opposite. A man should marry a woman who lives him more otherwise she will get bored, entitled, and start to cheat.

[Yuki0312]

I think the most important thing in a relationship is trust, mutual tolerance, mutual understanding, and the same three views. If you do this, the relationship will last forever.

[Anonymous]

In my experience in most heterosexual relationship men do love women more than the opposite. It explains why we see so much couple where the man is the woman's swab.