I told a woman her boyfriend tried to cheat on her with me, but she still standing by his side?

Question

I told her to help her from dating a cheater and expose him and even though she thanked me she posting her love for him even more now on social media and he's pretty much saying I'm a liar and I'm just jealous and trying to break them up.

I feel dumb for telling her now. Maybe I shouldn't have said anything to her? Did I do the wrong. I'm thinking if it happens again just dont tell the girlfriend since she doesn't seem to really care anyway?

CarrieNC · Accepted Answer

I totally understand where you're coming from. I've been in a similar situation before where I told a friend that her boyfriend was cheating on her and she didn't believe me. It was honestly the worst feeling ever. I felt like I had wasted my breath and that I was just being seen as the "jealous one" trying to come between them.

I remember the moment I found out, I was scrolling through Instagram and saw a picture of him with another girl. My heart dropped and I felt so betrayed. I knew my friend was going to be hurt if she found out, so I gathered all the evidence I had and went to her. I remember being so nervous and scared that she would hate me for telling her, but I knew I had to.

When I told her, she looked at me with this blank expression and I could tell she didn't believe me. I showed her all the screenshots and messages, but she still didn't want to believe it. She said that I was just being jealous and that I didn't want her to be happy.

It was such a frustrating and hurtful experience. I felt like I had done the right thing by telling her, but in the end, it just made things worse. She ended up staying with him and even started posting more lovey-dovey pictures of them together on social media. It was like she was rubbing it in my face that she didn't believe me.

I can completely understand how you're feeling right now. It's like you're stuck in this never-ending cycle of doubt and confusion. You're questioning if you did the right thing by telling her and if you should have just kept your mouth shut.

But here's the thing, you did what you thought was right in that moment. You saw something that could potentially hurt your friend and you wanted to protect her. Even though it didn't turn out the way you wanted it to, you still did the right thing.

I know it's hard to see someone you care about being hurt, but sometimes, they need to learn things on their own.

Screenwriter · Accepted Answer

This isn't about her not caring. I'm sure the cheater dismissed what you said as a flirtation instead of the deed, or that you came on to him and of course, men can't help themselves.

Sounds like she's thirsty and foolish. It's very sad.

I don't know that I could continue to be friends with a woman who's choosing to stay with an unfaithful man and a "friend" who's ignored VALUABLE information you've given her to help her. If he's not cheating with you, it's more than likely he'll cheat with someone else and hurt her.

Sometimes people refuse rational help. There's nothing you can do. I'd keep my distance, though, to save YOURSELF from being hurt.

Moose304 · Accepted Answer

When I was about 2 years out of Georgia Tech I came to know a couple. They were not married. I will be posting a song below that can sum up my experience when I did this. The only difference between me and the person telling the story in that song was I never was in love with the woman. I came upon her with some friends at a place in Atlanta called the  . Then asked if we could speak alone. I was still in my 20s and wisdom was not all that developed yet. I told her that she was dating a monster that was cheating on her with at least 3 other women that I knew about. I almost got slapped and she ran out of the place crying. She avoided me for close to 30 years after that. Then one fall day in Atlanta I ran into her during a Georgia Tech home game. She actually apologized for being stupid and said I wished I had listened to you. After several STD infections one being Hep B she discovered he was a POS. There is a term that describes a cheater. It's called an affair fog. Something like this happens when a person falls in love. I am sorry to say I regret telling this woman. Sometimes it's best to mind your own business. People blinded by these fogs are NOT going to listen.

D_Bone_Steak · Accepted Answer

Ask the internet which call a policeman hates to get the most... domestic disputes. Why? You get there and they'll both turn on you. Nobody wants your help... They'll turn on you. Try to tell a guy his girl is cheating and you'll probably get that "she isn't like that, she wouldn't do that, that's not like her, etc." That's what you ran into.

One of the main rules in life is to not involve yourself in between a couple. I mean seriously even if it's your best friend because they'll just turn on you. Shooting the messenger basically... and all because they don't want to hear it.

CubsterShura · Answer

Did you just tell her or show her proof as well?

It is true there are people who do try to sabotage relationships, and she may also have been manipulated by her boyfriend to believe that she is jealous and likes him. That's the story I was fed by an ex boyfriend and because I knew no better I believe him, I was told this girl liked him and she was jealous that I'm with him. The girl would indirectly try to get me to break up with him, and seemed visible happy when I had a fight with him. Only after I broke up with him that the other girl's new boyfriend share the truth with me and show me the screenshots with undeniable proof that he was attempting to cheat. He straight up said "she (I) can go to hell".

bamesjond0069 · Answer

Honestly most women are willing to let their man cheat. So 99% of the time this is exactly how it will play out.

Many but not quite 99% of men, are the same way. I've done this before too a few times and most just stay. I literally let this girls husband catch her fucking two black dudes and let drop how she has 3somes with me and my girlfriend for like a fucking year. And he just took her back no drama nothing. Just wanted his wife. Smh. Total simp.

Another girl wanted no marks since she had a husband and I gave her fucking spanking bruises on her ass. She just told him she fell on her butt. He's like ok sweetie pie.

Most people will just accept cheating in my experience.

Haha456 · Answer

you might not believe this but there are plenty of wives and girlfriends who won't leave their cheating husbands / bfs. Some people have very little self respect and are not mentally strong enough to leave. Its easier for them to tolerate cheating than to leave.

DevikaButts95 · Answer

I mean if she just took your word for it honestly she'd be a bad girlfriend, she should trust her partner more than you, even if her partner doesn't actually deserve that trust.
You did the right thing but if you have no proof there isn't much more you can do.

jshm2 · Answer

You're either a known drama queen, or just not that trustworthy to be taken seriously.

Also, there was a ticktok trend of late where random women were "targeting" couples and claiming to be in a relationship. All for internet points.

kinggeorge007 · Answer

You are right to tell her and what she's gonna do with that information is her business. Simple as that. If really really wanna date a cheater what we can do about it? Let her enjoy the roller coaster until the right number of nuts and bolts have fallen out. You know what happens next to a such a roller coaster.

fknsht · Answer

Damn a girl told me this last year and we became friends and I dumped him. Which I ironic because he introduced me, said they were just friends. It was a chuck he tried to sleep with and she rejected him, while we were together. Then he thought he was going to have a sister wife situation. Nope just dumped

SphynxUK · Answer

Of course he’s calling you a liar. He knows you told on him! Just ignore it. She will realise sooner or later. She’s just got low self esteem and rose tinted glasses.

FilmGuy93 · Answer

You've done all you can. People are going to do and believe whatever they will. Don't forget, she has a certain interest in seeing you as the problem.

LegendaryDater · Answer

Some women don't care. They rather have his toxic ass in their life then try and find a normal guy. Maybe she is addicted to the chaos of it all. You just never know that is why it's wise to just stay out of it.

weysally · Answer

I'm afraid a lot of people won't see the truth even it bites them in the ass, until its too late, you tried, don't tell her again,

AimeeKyle · Answer

Usually it is best to keep it to yourself, especially if you don’t know the person being cheated on very well. You are just opening yourself up for scrutiny (and who knows what else). There are crazy people out there. It’s just not worth it.

ChillaxingLove · Answer

You were only wrong for feeling dumb. She’s probably afraid of being alone, so she’ll deny it until she actually finds out herself

sheikalana · Answer

To be honest I wouldn't believe a stranger even if that was truth and you would have to show me some kind of proof.

laraWM · Answer

Maybe she already knew it or she trusted him more than a random girl

Danny_dan92 · Answer

She has his dick as a blindfold. She’s a dumbass. Thinking with her pussy. You did what you needed to & should’ve done. If she gets mad, that’s on her

saturnianqueen · Answer

You did what you needed to do, now it’s their problem to deal with. Unfortunately. You’ve done your part

DaisyM23 · Answer

sometimes people just don't want to see what's happening right in front of them

SexyRedd1966 · Answer

That's why I never tell... I just make a mental note and act accordingly

Apple_Cider · Answer

If I were in your shoes, I wouldn't have said anything. No good deed goes unpunished.

Dav1dTh0ma3 · Answer

She would need proof that he did. She likely doesn't want to believe you, because of what it is (cheating)

-Mad- · Answer

Just sleep with the guy and give her a lesson. its a win win, you get fucked and she learns a lesson

Anonymous · Answer

Not sure if you should have reached out to her but you did. Now she knows. She can either believe you or not. And she will either find out the hard way or not.

Anonymous · Answer

It depends on your intentions and motivation of telling her. Where they strictly for her own good?

Sarahplus2 · Answer

you wasted your time. I would have not gotten involved.

Anonymous · Answer

Yes I’d keep my mouth shut. You don’t know their situation. Maybe she has an open relationship who knows.

TacosRAwesome · Answer

It's her problem not yours. You did your duty.

Anonymous · Answer

You did your part. They are both adults to make their own choices though.

NachtjaegerSS · Answer

Because so many women are spiteful and liars, she didn't believe you.

grierwrange · Answer

But what did you say exactly and what did he do? Maybe you misread

Iron_Man · Answer

Well, you were honest you did what you had to do

Sasha0426 · Answer

You did your part and she made her decision. Nothing more you can do 🤷‍♀️

msc545 · Answer

Next time keep your mouth shut. It's none of your business - nobody likes a snitch.

Sabretooth · Answer

She knows the truth. She's chosing to debase herself instead of truly accepting it.

JesseJayNeak · Answer

She’s the one who’s been blinded. She’ll find out in the worst of ways

Figurine89 · Answer

Likely doesn't want to believe you. She'll need to see proof

ChooChooHaha · Answer

You did the right thing.

Fuentes · Answer

It be like that sometimes lol

LimitedBenefits101 · Answer

Next time MIND YOUR DAMN BUSINESS.

jwbjimmy23 · Answer

Hard heads make soft asses

ineedthetruth · Answer

Females are the very bright.

Anonymous · Answer

What else can you do?

I told a woman her boyfriend tried to cheat on her with me, but she still standing by his side?

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