How do you support your partner in a thing you don't understand easily?

[Sour-rose]

So ya partner is playing a video game. They seem to be struggling with it and eventually they come to you to rant about it. They aren't mad at you but mad at the problem they can't figure it out. Or in a case, they're doing a project about making their own... watch. (I don't know, ladies don't make watches, that's a dude's thing?) They're staring at the watch and the parts around it, just seething..."You okay, hun?" And now they want to just blow up about the thing you don't get what's the big deal with. You know they love you but you wish you can support them without making them blaming you for the thing or thinking you messed up and made it worse.

So how do you do such a thing?

[SnowedIn]

I have this happen with my wife ALL THE TIME. It was the source of a LOT of frustration early in our marriage. (And it worked both ways, by the way.) We learned over time to trust each other that if it wasn't us, then first sympathize and second ask if that person wants help or just vent. And the frustrated person then has to articulate which they want. And if it's vent, then the listener person just listens. In the case of my wife, I'll often give her a hug or make her coffee. That helps support her.

[Sour-rose]

omg you and your wife sounds like the seasoned best couple I've ever heard about <3

[SnowedIn]

You are so sweet to say that. Hard work and she's awesome. I'm a work in progress. Thank you!

[Guy13]

In these situations the best thing you can do is NOT stress me out with an expectation of me making you understand. And be around but quiet on the subject. Be accessible, approachable, and keep emotions in check please.

[melanieeeB]

Never had a guy I date let his anger about something else out on me, I see it as him being rude and or disrespectful ... my last boyfriend also got very angry cause of his games and then he let his anger out and tell me all about it and even if I didn't understand everything he was just glad that I listened and kept being angry at the game haha

[melanieeeB]

But would he have turned around and started getting mad at me, I would have started a fight and leave the situation. I'm not getting insulted cause of his stupid anger. I don't tolerate shit like that

[Stressyalaire]

I ask him what the game is about, what he's doing in it, why it's so hard, maybe even try it for myself! I turn into that kid that just asks questions, but I genuinely want to know and share that little burden he has on his shoulders.

[On_cloud_wine]

I’d laugh, then act guilty for laughing then say “I’m sorry.. I’m listening. And take no credibility from the bottom of my heart for feeling bad or guilty about it. Bahah

[DopeTurtle]

I would try to think about the certain thing from an objective standpoint and see how I would tackle that problem. I would also offer to sit down and watch them struggle and see if there is something they’re not catching because of emotions/ frustration with the obstacle that effects their ability to be focused.


Usually I’d just provide a listening ear but if they’re serious in overcoming the problem than I’ll help by letting them use my brain