What can one do if your partner is not ready to learn your love language no matter how much you explain to him/ her?

[Anonymous]

My primary love language is words of affirmation and his is physical touch. I try my best to make him feel loved through both of them but he is not ready to learn my love language no matter how much I explain to him. Though rest of the language is also important to me as all of them are important in a relationship to last longer. But I don't feel loved when he doesn't speak my love language. I ask him how can I make him feel more loved but he doesn't even ask me. What can be done?

[ProbablyClueless]

You use your words. You tell him directly "this is what I expect of men I'm dating."

[Asker]

I have told him similar things many times

[ProbablyClueless]

Sounds like you just aren't compatible then. Because if every time you directly tell him your expectations, his response is to not change; you're telling him that you'll put up with his behavior.

Now, remember that I said "directly." You can't pull that little "dropping hints" nonsense and expect anything to change.

[Asker]

Really appreciate your opinion and I really told him directly that I want this and that things from him. He acts of listening for a moment and then forgets later. Even if he does he would say I love you for a week and then stop. After 2 years of relationship I have never heard him saying I miss you till date whenever I'm away from him for 4/5 days.

[ProbablyClueless]

I'm happy to help. Unfortunately, you are in a situation where this guy is not going to change as things presently stand. My mom recently ended a 5-6 year relationship with her fiancé because he had her playing nanny and housemaid for him and his mother. It took her threatening to leave after 5 years to get him to propose. And now she's left him because, despite being engaged for over a year, the man refuses to pay his back-taxes, despite having more than enough money to.

A lot of people do some incredibly hare-brained, tone deaf. stuff.

[Asker]

So sorry this happened to your mom. When you have to threaten your so to do sth that relationship is not worth it

[Nishi-Mishi]

Is it okay if I ask what your love language is and what you expect from him?

[Asker]

Sure mine is words of affirmation as described above and I expect him to compliment me ( doesn't have to be only physical), be my cheerleader, support me when I feel low , adore me , etc.

[Nishi-Mishi]

And he doesn’t do any of it?

[Asker]

Except complimenting very very few times he doesn't do any of them

[Asker]

I haven't heard him saying I miss you till date

[Nishi-Mishi]

You know there could be two sides
1. Maybe his love language is through actions and not word of affirmation

2. If you have already told him and his not willing to do it, then it’s better you keep your distance love. Stay away for a while like 2-4 days and if his not reaching out or saying he wants to talk to you because he misses you then you already know his not worth it.
Don’t settle for less there are always men who would love you the way you want to, because this is just bare minimum

[Nishi-Mishi]

Us girls are wired through emotions so I understand where you’re coming from, you need a supportive guy who understands and reassures you.
Try out what I told you, stay away for some time and if his not making any effort. Say boy bye !

[Asker]

Really appreciate that thank you so much girl 💓

[Anonymous]

Are you sure your approach is not working?

[Asker]

I think so