"Debt repayment is for wives, not girlfriends" WTAF?

[Anonymous]

So, my boyfriend of 18 months recently came into a large chunk of money from an inheritance.

We don't live together, we've talked about it happening soon though as he is buying a house with the money.

I've tried hinting a few times that it would be a great help for me if he would pay off my credit card debt and my car for me, but he's not picking up on it, and so the other day I asked him outright and he said "Debt repayment is for wives, not girlfriends".

Like seriously, almost 2 years together and he won't help me when he literally has hundreds of thousands of dollars?

What different does it make if we are married or not, surely if he loved me he'd help me with this?

[ChicanaChick]

No wonder he's still keeping you as a girlfriend after 18 months. Your chances of being his wife has likely diminished greatly by now. Why don't you work hard on building yourself up? You're making the rest of us look bad. The fact that you're having debts is already a red flag. Instead of adding in his life, you would be a liability to him.

I have my own property and assets but have no interest in paying someone's debt.

If he told you "Debt repayment is for wives, not girlfriends" then he made it clearly you ain't going to get any proposal from him anytime soon. He has you for the fun until eventually getting bored and dumping you. He's never going to marry you.

[MzAsh]

I don’t blame him. That’s his money and being his girlfriend doesn’t entitle you to it. Hell, not even being his wife would entitle you payments on old debt that he had no part of. This is part of why I advise ladies on earning their own income and managing their own money. Do what you need to do to get it paid off. Take a 2nd job if you have to. There’s no need to lower yourself to begging your boyfriend for money. Be better than that.

[ChicanaChick]

This. The fact that she can't manage her own money and is in debts is already a red flag. Why would anyone man want to marry a woman full of debts?

[Avicenna]

If he will let you live in his house for free, you already will be getting something big out of the relationship. That's what I would do, and tell you that you need to focus on paying off your credit cards since presumably those have a much higher interest rate than your car payment.

[OlderAndWiser]

Surely if you loved him, you wouldn't expect him to help you with this, would you?

In fact, a girlfriend asking for help to pay off debts or take care of recurring obligations is showing the warning signs that tell a sensible boy to run away as fast as he can!

[Shamalien]

this kind of entitlement actually makes me sick. Did he decide to buy a car he couldn’t afford? Did he decide to rack up credit card debt? If my girlfriend asked this of me I’d consider it a huge red flag and her chances of becoming a wife would go down immensely because I would worry she’s just using me

[MzAsh]

As a woman, I’d never ask what she asked. And if a guy ask me this I’d also consider it a red flag. It’s so much better to just take care of your own shit. I mean there are exceptions but this isn’t one of them.

[Shamalien]

@MzAsh agreeing with me twice in one year? This can’t be right…who are you and what have you done with MzAsh 😂

But yeah seriously, expecting people to pay your debts is maddening. Like if it’s to the mob and your life is on the line fair enough, but people must take responsibility for their choices in life and bear the consequences. I cannot imagine ever asking anyone to pay my debts…ofc I’m not the kind of person who has debt, I’m the kind whom others are indebted to 😂

[MzAsh]

Twice in one year 😂 on a roll now

[ChicanaChick]

The poster makes the rest of us look bad. No wonder less men want to marry and the rest of us end up paying the price. As a woman that has her own property and assets, I would break up if any boyfriend requested me to help him pay his debts.
Having debts and not being able to handle your own money has got to be a red flag and the chances of being classified as marriage material must be down the toilet by then. The OP's boyfriend will likely just continue keeping her for the fun. She's just another girlfriend to have fun with and go out on dates, nothing more.

[ShadezMcgee]

You're back with the same hand crafted bullshit story just changing the premise? You did lottery, you did rich CEO, now it is inheritance? Jesus fucking Christ you are a broken record of boredom, you know that?

To anyone reading this question, this troll had done this before. Always getting pissed her alleged boyfriend won't pay for her debt, loan her money or help her with something she should have ownership of, but feels entitled to have money.

[admles]

In fact I’m sure the inheritance one has been done before lol

[Static_In_The_Attic]

I absolutely love the entitlement generation today & if the roll was reversed would you pay off your boyfriend’s debt? Of course you won’t so don’t expect him to pay off your debt. I think you need to pay off your own debt & how much debt are you in?

[LazerBean]

He's right. A girlfriend is not a legitimate commitment. His stuff is his, and your stuff is still yours. Including your own debt. And the fact that you feel so entitled to his money is exactly why you are still just a girlfriend and not a wife.

[Wraith_Cemetery]

Yep, nailed it.

[loveslongnails]

Did you accumulate this debt before you knew him? Did any of it result from things you bought together, or used together? Did you spend money on the two of you from your own earnings when he wasn't employed?
I guess that tells you where you stand in his eyes, to a point. Maybe he doesn't know he'll be with you in the long run so he figures "why should I pay off her debts if I don't know for sure we'll be together"?

[Vegasrunner]

You're boyfriend would be an idiot to stay w/ you. Paying off someone else debt is probably the dumbest thing u could do. I disagree w/ him I don't think debt payment is even reserved for wives (unless she accrued the debt after they got married). Hopefully he's disqualified u from w/ category all together as Credit Card Debt shows you have a history of poor decisions. How much of his debt have you paid off?

[nawtee_me]

He is helping you, he is teaching you the value of hard work and of the dollar. Had he not come into money would you want him to pay it anyway? I don't think so. What it your is yours and what is his in his until you are married. then it belongs to you both...

[humanearth]

He is not wrong, I would rather help out a charity or a homeless person

before helping my girlfriend get out of debt

girlfriend come and go, wives tend to stick around.

Married for years and seen both sides of this

[GOOSEBOY78]

because how do you learn self sufficency if your expecting him to swoop in and solve all your problems?

these are your bills and debts incurred. so its YOUR problem to pay them. not his.

[BeMuse]

You just sound a whore. Why don't you go get a job.

[TheSpaceGnome]

Don't be a gold digger.

Even if you were married, you created that debt, so you should pay it off.

[Keishio]

I wouldn't either. He doesn't owe you a penny of that regardless if you're married, partnered or just friends. It's a red flag that you'd even ask

[Drumlin2001]

You sound rather entitled. Why should he pay off your debts? He owes you nothing.

[exitseven]

Why do you think that he is in no hurry to get married. ?

[ChicanaChick]

Exactly. Why would any man propose to a woman that's in debts, can't handle her money and on top of that ask him to pay it for her? She's not adding anything of value to him.

[Anonymous]

He's correct but I wouldn't marry someone in debt given I'm debt free and my credit rating is soaring as my pocket gets only fuller thanks to my business model in this economy

[Opinion Owner]

I'd drop you like a hot brink for even asking the question, you chose to finance a car rather than but older outright and credit cards don't make me laugh to quote a wise man the masses take credit cards to buy liabilities and I use them to buy assets

[Anonymous]

Yeah, you are effectively planning to use him for money just like a gold digger. Disgusting! Truly disgusting! Cursed gold diggers!

[ChicanaChick]

She's making the rest of us look bad.

[Opinion Owner]

@ChicanaChick Yes. The rest of you women however are not her, so it's all good with women.

[spartan55]

🎶 I ain't sayin she a gold digger...🎶

[inhua]

then prove to him you are wife material

[Pohjolan]

Don't be a gold digger.

[Jamie05rhs]

Lmao