So, is me being single for my whole life a red flag? So, what's the draw back of being single for as long as I have?

[poneglyphs]

[quaranta]

I have the feeling you asked this already and I replied already, but it might be a dejavu, so I answer anyway.
The reason this can be seen as a red flag is not because "oh, not the norm", but because you'd have a low level of experience, which means you may not have matured good communication skills during conflicts, good understanding of how things work between 2 very close people in the everyday interactions and especially you may not know yourself enough (your preferences, your limits) in a relationship. Basically, you never had the chance to learn from mistakes.
Also, if you were single from all this time, a woman might think there is a bad reason behind it. Maybe you were stalking women or being very clingy/needy/creepy and this is why they ran away from you. Maybe you were misogynous and victimistic and that would be a big turn off as well. Maybe you were extremely insecure and passive and they don't want to end up with someone too fragile because that means extra-attention to give and no perspective of being guided in some enthusiastic path of life, if you can't guide yourself either.

So I think you should aim at younger women who had 0-1 experiences in total so that you "grow together" and experience mistakes together, and because of that they might have lower expectations than a woman around your age, regarding those traits.

Also, prepare a justification to explain why you stayed single for so long, that shouldn't be "because no woman came to collect me from the floor" but say something more about yourself, like:"I was focusing on my career", "I was working on myself", etc. Like if it was a choice, as long as it's not about hating women otherwise you burn your chance. And don't make it sound like you're looking for a "favour" from them, or like if they owe you something on behalf of the female gender: that would be repulsive as well.

[poneglyphs]

so, should I be ashamed because I don't have any experience? also, why is frowned upon to be single?

[quaranta]

Not ashamed, I suggested to align your situation to what it matches better with.
Regarding why is it frowned upon to be single, honestly I don't know and I never experienced that on me or towards others (and I stayed single for many years by choice, never once felt judged).

[Wade12345]

I'm a 42 years old virgin because ev ery woman i was ever around rejected me and dated criminals and whoremongers instead of me.

understand? That's the God's honest truth.

Your post contains a bunch of prejudicial BS and no good man should listen to you.

[quaranta]

@Wade12345 If this is your mentality then this is your own explanation for why you've been rejected, you behave like a closed minded victim, of course this can't be attractive to anybody. Claim your God's honest truth as much as you want but if the result is women stay away from you and not from others, probably there is something in your approach to correct, not to find scapegoats around.
You can anyway elaborate the bunch of BS in question if you want your comment to be relevant, but I think it's not in your advantage either.

[Anonymous]

i have a friend who has been single for... ever. and i've known her since i was a pre-teen. sure she's had interest in guys, but she still has just never been in a relationship. i do worry for her as she didn't go to college or has any goals and still lives at home, but not sure if she's trying and going on dating sites or what. i do know that she's picky about who she chooses so i guess that's part of the problem. or maybe she's asexual or just isn't interested in men? i have no idea.

i think the only draw back is that it's hard to develop as a person when you don't have any form of relationships in your life, you know? i don't think it's a red flag at all, i just think people will wonder why. i've only been in one relationship, still am, and you don't really learn about yourself unless you have these experiences.

personally if i were the girl looking at you, i wouldn't care if you haven't been in a relationship yet at that age. less baggage, don't have to worry about ex's if she was prettier than me, don't have to get jealous or insecure, little stuff like that.

[poneglyphs]

So, why do you develop as a person once you're in a relationship? Why can't you develop by yourself? 🤔🤔🤔

[Guy13]

It boils down to a woman interpreting your singleness as a sign that something is wrong with you 🚩. I have been privy to some of these he has no dating or sexual pass girl talks. They are like, “Am I missing something” discussions.

Start smaller with female hobbies or things they like to do at meetup. www.meetup.com. Some people do live a life of bachelor. Focus on career and make money. She may come along.

[Wade12345]

If the only reason a woman accepts or rejects me is because I make more or less money then she isn't worth my time.

If a woman cannot love a man in the hard times she sure as hell won't love him any other time either. IN arthurian legend, there is a tale where one of Arthur's knights marries a poor old widow and lives his entire life married to her. He later discovers it is the Lady of the Lake testing his virtue, and both his and her youth are restored to him.

Point being if a woman can't love you through hard times she just isn't worth having.

[coachTanthony]

Yes in many cases women will see that as a Red Flag. You might be set in your ways now and deep down don't want anything serious because that would get you out of your comfort zone that you have been in your entire life. Doesn't mean it's true that is just how they see it.

[poneglyphs]

hmm maybe or they don't know that I have had insecurities all of my life and never really felt ready to date till now.

[coachTanthony]

Same thing really. If you tell them that they will probably take a step back and think something is wrong with you. So I wouldn't tell anyone that to be honest. I would simply say I have been focused on myself, my growth and other things in life.

[poneglyphs]

oh, okay, should I ever tell someone that?

[coachTanthony]

What would be the purpose but to get pitty from them? You don't want that do you?

[poneglyphs]

Well, don't you want to be honest and open with them?

[coachTanthony]

Not everyone deserves to know everything about you. If you want to mention it after you are in a committed relationship that back in the day you struggled with insecurity fine but why would you ever lead with that? Hopefully you wouldn't unless again you are trying to get some kind of reaction or trying to manipulate how they treat you or feel about you.

[poneglyphs]

Isn't a relationship about being honest and open?

[coachTanthony]

Yes. You should be honest and open with someone you are in a relationship with not a stranger. But you do you man. You sound like this insecurity thing is your entire identity. I hope not and hope you have other things you can share and discuss with people you first meet.

[ChiTown33]

Coach isn't saying lie. Just why give her that uneeded information. I mean whether it's been an issue in the past don't make it now.
Some people would call this a lie of omission. But it's not really because as I said don't make it an issue now.
We are lifetime learners and at any point in your life you can break that mold and be a new person. Put away those past demons you are a new person. You can be just what she needs. Provided she's smart enough to see it. And if she isn't that's her problem not yours.

[JSmuve]

It's not a red flag. What I've learned is that a lot of people are stupid and judgmental. If they immediately think it's a red flag, it's because they lack the emotional intelligence to realize that everyone isn't the same. Not everyone has the same opportunities, everyone has different experiences and handle things differently. People fall all over the experience spectrum and just because someone doesn't align with the "ideal", that isn't a red flag; it's just that we all can't have nice things.

Just because a person doesn't have relationship experience, doesn't mean that they can't be emotionally intelligent and introspective. I'd rather be with a person who has limited experience but with the personality to learn than a person who's had a dozen failed relationships and hasn't learned anything. If a person has a lot of experience, it begs the question why hasn't any of those relationships stuck.

[chronic22]

You already know it's not a red flag someone who fucks everybody is a red flag to be avoided there's females you hang with and get to know and you know they are not gonna give you something but if your not good at getting to know someone it's bad and you should just avoid relationships

Gotta get to know her before you Fuck her
Buying her stuff is the easiest way to get her to be yours show her you got money and that your chill and when you've got what you want keep it balanced only give her something when you've got a goal if she isn't behaving and is trying to be controlling you gotta control her and you do that through power females like to control not all of them some like to be super submissive but making a female think she's in control is a good way too but don't actually give her all the power

[NathanDavis]

the red flags would not be the fact that you've been always single

the red flags would be the reasons why you've been... as well as the reasons why you still have not done anything about it yet

[poneglyphs]

Oh, well I haven't done anything yet is because I want to focus on my career first then later get a girlfriend

[bolverk]

There nothing wrong with a guy being single at 28 (I didn't have a full relationship until I was 33), you haven't even hit your prime yet, there is no real drawback, Think on this, women the same age as you are who are not in a relationship are beginning to panic as they approach the dreaded 'Wall'!

And there will be women out there in the same situation as you They may take some finding because in all likelihood they will not be on a dating app, or you just wait and see approach.

I never rushed find someone because my career in contract engineering had me bouncing around the globe, If you are doing something similar take your time, when you are ready, you'll find someone and it will probably when you least expect it.

[RobT312]

Nothing wrong with being single. However some people will question it as its not the norm. People seem to question everything thats not the norm…. its just what people do

[poneglyphs]

so, should I be ashamed of admitting that I never had a relationship? I had girl's give me puzzle looks and just interrogate me about it?

[RobT312]

No. Dont be ashamed. If you just haven't found the right girl so becit.
However my point exactly, the gut reaction from girls is gonna be “there must be something wrong with him”

[poneglyphs]

why is that something women always go to when they see a guy that is not in the norms?

[RobT312]

Because they want a great “catch”

[poneglyphs]

Oh, so what make a great catch then?

[RobT312]

A guy that can take care of a girl, a guy who is funny, financially on the rise …etc. many factors i assume! You should ask a girl that!

[SnowedIn]

I think some people may question your commitment and that's going to be a red flag for some of them.

[poneglyphs]

Maybe most of them will 🫠🫠🫠

[CreatingWonders]

People will obviously question as to why you’re single so long, they’ll most likely think that there’s something wrong with you or you’re a horrible person.


If I was told by someone they’ve never been in a relationship I’d ask why and probably think they’re just horrible.


The same as if you told me everyone leaves you I’d automatically think you’re an awful person as they can’t all be wrong can they? 🤷🏽‍♂️🤔

[Wade12345]

The truth is you probably haven't done a single thing wrong, and you should ignore the women blaming you and telling you otherwise.

God has something better for you. Don't settle for a whore, and don't stoop to their level either.

[Sasha0426]

I’m in the same boat as you for being single my whole life. My plan was to either continue being single until my last day on Earth or just do something casual.

[poneglyphs]

Oh, so have you found someone or trying to get to know someone?

[Razp_Sorbet]

All to do with experience with relationships, it's not a red flag exactly but not a lot of people are interested in showing the ropes to someone who is inexperienced or go through that again because it can be quite traumatic.

[poneglyphs]

Why is it traumatic showing someone how to date?

[Razp_Sorbet]

It can be frustrating and is a whole lot easier when you're figuring it out together so nobody feels like they have to be the bigger person

[poneglyphs]

Oh, so is that why women find it a turn off?

[Razp_Sorbet]

Yes.

[poneglyphs]

So, who should I date then if I barely have any experience

[Razp_Sorbet]

Well you could date anyone around your own age. My saying this doesn't mean nobody would want to ever date you because of that, someone perhaps will

[gorydetails]

You're 28 and have never had any relationship of any type with a woman?

[poneglyphs]

Nope none at all 😕😕😕

@gorydetails

[gorydetails]

yeah, that's going to become a problem for you. I'd work on fixing that problem asap.

[poneglyphs]

Yeah, I know but I'm not even taking to anyone at the moment

[gorydetails]

So fix that. Start getting out there.

[poneglyphs]

How? I have been on dating apps but never had any dates 😕

@gorydetails

[gorydetails]

Meet people in person, the old-fashioned way. Dating apps are for suckers.

[poneglyphs]

Oh, okay I don't because I don't have a car but I can try

[OfMiceandMen]

I would say so. Suggests your not willing to put your heart out there or you may not be willing/wanting to be in a committed relationship.

[poneglyphs]

Hmm that could be an issue but doesn't apply to me

[genericname85]

yes it is a redflag. not cause there's something wrong with you. but simple because of that logic of "well if no other girl ever wanted him, he must be a rotten apple".

[Heolurt]

I know it is, because I'm in the same place but I'm sure you don't have a fucked up face like me so I'm sure you'll find someone

[La_isla_bonita23]

I don’t think it is a red flag!

[Anonymous]

No I think it’s fine.

[poneglyphs]

Oh, really why do you think so?

[Opinion Owner]

Because I have virgin friends.

[Opinion Owner]

There’s nothing wrong with them, they just hadn’t found the right person or feared intimacy.

[Anonymous]

Stop whining and do something about it.

[poneglyphs]

Well, that's what I'm trying to do but hasn't been working out so far 😕