My partner had a car accident and he’s in a coma?

[droplizzy]

So my LDR partner has been in the hospital for 3 weeks now , he open his eyes but the doctors told his family that he has 20 injuries in his head because of the accident, his mother calls me on a daily to keep updated on him, I was upset and worried but trying to maintain strong for him ( been together for 6 years ) I take screenshots of him while sleeping, and I think about him , usually text him or send him paragraphs like a diary , I wanna stay with him because I love him so much
I don't know if anyone has been on this issue
I need some advice

[WaterIsland]

I can’t imagine the struggle you’re going through right now. That is incredibly difficult. Good for you for keeping your head above the water and continuing to do the best you can. That isn’t easy. But it’s also critical to acknowledge that you are human. This isn’t easy. It’s ok to cry. It’s ok to feel depressed. It’s ok to not be ok with this. If you are struggling, I highly recommend doing what you can to talk to a professional therapist. This isn’t an easy situation you’re going through. Lean on and rely on those around you. You HAVE to prioritize your own mental health and do whatever it takes to ensure you’re doing ok tho, or this will be nearly impossible.


The sad thing is you don’t have much control at all over this situation. You can’t change the medical outcome. You have incredibly limited power here. All you can do is be there for him. It sounds like you’re already doing an amazing job at that. Continue to talk to his family. Continue to talk to him. Just keep doing the best you can. I’m sure it’s not easy at all. But hang in there. It sounds like you’re doing an amazing job.

[droplizzy]

During the first few days I did cry and all praying for him and a day after his accident his family reach me out and his sister was the one doing the video calls but I kinda got annoyed by her because she’s trying to tell me oh he won’t make it and prepare for the good or worse obviously that kinda bothered me and I rather talk to his mother so we’ve been talking and obviously I’ve seen him on video chat but he was sleeping ( the doctors put him medication) and his mom told me he’s going to be ok and she’ll call me today this afternoon while he’s watching tv maybe I’ll do my best to talk to him a little while , i do love him a lot and my friends are trying to be by my side giving me stay strong and my mother and older brother told me to continue talking to him and obviously pray for him for a fast recovery his mom ask me that he wants to leave the hospital because I guess he doesn’t like being tied up and wants to walk 😅 and seeing him in bed makes me a little sad but I’m trying my best to think positive and hopefully he’ll be able to talk to me if the doctors remove the tube on his mouth
All I have on my phone is his pics and some old vids but rarely have his voice to listen I’m a loyal girl I wanna stay with him no matter what

[WaterIsland]

That’s so sweet. You’re doing a great job. As for his sister. She’s clearly going through a lot too. Everyone handles bad situations differently. And it sounds like her preparing for the worst is her coping mechanism. I understand that hurts you and annoys you. And that is totally ok. But hopefully maybe understanding her perspective could be useful to you.

[droplizzy]

I mean his sister thinks like that because she’s like negative I don't know she’s probably saying that to scare me I told her the doctors can say all they want but the only person who was the answer is god and I know my boyfriend is strong and wants to live and I do get a little annoyed when she calls me I only talk to him for 1 min so I rather continue talking to the mother she’s nice tho :) I appreciate her a lot

[Slingblade1126]

To some extent, my wife went through what you are going through. 10yrs ago, I went into cardiac arrest. They estimated I was without oxygen for 18 to 25 minutes. I was in a coma for 6 days. They told my family that if I do come out of it, be prepared for life changing disabilities. She was by my side the entire time, she even played trivia pursuit with me. Yes, I know, I was unconscious but it made her feel better. After 6 days, I woke up like nothing happened. Absolutely no side effects or disabilities. Obviously, nobody knows what the future holds but anything is possible. Head trauma is a really touchy injury but usually, if they wake up, rehab helps significantly. For now, do things that you two did together, if it's possible, because in a funny way, that will keep your bond while he's away. Just take it one day at a time, that's all you can do.

[TheSpaceGnome]

It's really nice to see real love for once on a site of mostly shallow people who leave their partner over stupid shit like money or minor hardships.

Talking to a coma patient daily can sometimes wake them up earlier than they would otherwise, maybe talk to his mom about setting up scheduled video chats for you since it's LDR? (Or maybe you are already doing that since you mentioned taking screenshots of him while he's sleeping? )

[droplizzy]

We’ll me and her talked yesterday and she asked me that once’s he’s awake she’ll give me a call but he can’t talk because he has some tube in his mouth , I mean about the screenshots I took ‘‘em in case I just want him to realize that I’m always there for him and not having him thinking anything bad ; I mean what can I say he’s the love of my life I don't know if he remembers me tho but hopefully tomorrow we’ll see what happens;

I’m just nervous to think what to say to him :/

[WaterIsland]

@droplizzy I’d try to talk to his mom about what to say. She might have some advice or pointers from his doctors that might be helpful to you.

With my limited knowledge here. I’d just do your best to be normal. Talk about things you’d normally talk about if this wasn’t going on. Tell him how your day was. Talk to him about just normal things. Just be as normal as you can. It’ll be incredibly scary and difficult for you. But I think you have to do your best to ask natural. Crying, or getting overly emotional probably won’t help him. He can’t do anything about his situation right now. You have to act like it’s all normal. Even though it’s not at all.

I could be totally off base here which is why I’d suggest talking to his mom to see if you can gather any extra tips about what to say or do.

Your love is so beautiful. And I truly wish you the best.

[TheSpaceGnome]

Even if you just talk about your day or your favorite stuff or stuff you wanna do, or whatever, it helps, he just needs to hear at least enough words one of those times to trigger waking up. There is the chance he may have amnesia from the injury, but if he fell for you once, he'll probably do it again.

Guys tend to have fantasies about their type of girl just showing up out of the blue and falling for them, and in most cases, its unrealistic, but if he does have amnesia, in his situation, it's not.

[TheSpaceGnome]

He is also more likely to not wake up while still healing, because we heal through sleep, so if it's not quick, don't lose hope.

[droplizzy]

I mean I’ll ask him about my daily routine and I’ve been playing his favorite video game 🎮 watching his favorite movies stuff like that

When he wakes up tomorrow I’ll tell him that I miss him so much that ima wait for him and continue talking to him every day

[TheSpaceGnome]

Thats more than enough to eventually wake him. You are a rare gem Lizzy, never change, the world needs more people like this.

[droplizzy]

Thank you it means a lot :) my friends are telling me after what you’re boyfriend has been through you’re a brave girl and u truly love him

[TheSpaceGnome]

I agree with your friends, he is very lucky to have you, hopefully he wakes up sooner rather than later.

[droplizzy]

Nobody thought I was going to say that and let’s see what happens today , after what I post I know people can say negative things but I rather think positive and even tho I’m not near him , because of the distance I just wanted him to release I’m his fiancé and imma stay with him no matter what
We made a promise to each other and kept that promise 🥹💪

[TheSpaceGnome]

Thats how relationships are supposed to be.

Stick through hard times, and be willing to tackle any health, financial, or distance problem, even if it takes lots of time and effort.

[droplizzy]

Exactly I rather stay instead of leaving because I mean I’ve been with him almost 7 years

I know he’ll be upset about his car ( bmw) destroyed but at least god gave him a chance to live

[TheSpaceGnome]

Wouldn't worry about the car. He can use it getting destroyed as an excuse to get a better car, or if insured just replace it.

[droplizzy]

Yeah you’re right I mean after I saw his car completely crash from the driver side back seats other stuff, he’ll maybe get a new car but first needs to take care of his health

[msc545]

See if you can get permission to speak to his doctors. You need clear information about this.

[droplizzy]

I wish I could but Only his family has permission ,

[msc545]

Perhaps his family help you to learn more?

[droplizzy]

All I know is that he can move his arms and legs his mom has been telling me that he’s trying to remove all the needles and what he has because I guess he doesn’t like being in the hospital bed ; and about his injuries his head is still bleeding because of his car accident they don’t know what happen that day of the crash neither do I so all I know is he has 20 injuries in his head because on the video that one of his co workers said he’s bleeding because he hit the windshield but is to many questions , but hit his car due of reckless driving and hit on some trees on a right hand side of his car
So the vehicle went off the roadway ( cause he was driving on a freeway)

[Wade12345]

Because you said you prayed for him, I will pray for him too. I know God is Almighty and has a purpose for everything that happens.