Am I overreacting, boyfriend sent a dk pic to a girl he knew was in a relationship at work in the past?

[depeche2015]

he was the worst boyfriend i had, made me question my self and made me insecure but it all comes down because of a girl at work. she cheated on her 4 year relationship with her boyfriened, my boyfriend overheard the convo she had with her friends and then took interest and kept asking her personal qs with the guy at work, she told him everything later on he sent her a picture of his dk on snapchat, and she never gave him an opinion and he got insecure about that im guessing and thats why he was mean to me for the longest time, that incident pissed me off because it was before me but i dont get why i deserved why he did that he gaslights me now and says im not a man so i wouldn't understand and says how he wasn't attracted, how he didn't want to sleep with her, and how he just wanted an opinion that doesn't add up at all, and he kept trying to say thats what he meant to do, he pissed me off so i threated id tell her husband now what he did and my boyfriend told me not to because id ruin her relationship he was defending her, i think she ruined her relationship herself and i see him in a dif way cause i lost respect for him, do you think im crazy what would you do? this all happened in 2018 or right before we talked but i dont think i desrrved it..

[quaranta]

Sorry, your thread is very confusing and I'm not sure about some points.
As far as I understood, in 2018 this girl at work was married and your boyfriend, who wasn't your boyfriend yet, sent her a dick pic in a very awkward way and this made him uncomfortable because he received no opinions and realized it was not appropriate. Then you two got in a relationship and at the beginning of it he was mean to you, because of this past incident he had with that girl so he vented it all on you, as if it's your fault somehow.
You became jealous of that even though it was before knowing you, and he is trying to make some excuses up to make you calm down.

If this reading is correct, then yeah, he shouldn't have been mean to you because of his own mistakes in his own private life, that is kind of pathetic because he was throwing his responsibilities at you, like if you were his mother or someone dedicated to be a sponge to absorb the effects of his (and his only) mistakes. To me this would be a complete turn off already... He should take his own responsibilities, he made the mistake, felt awkward (honestly sending a random unsolicited dick pic around your 30s is very bad, I would think he has some mental issues or generally 0 social skills, so he isn't that wrong in feeling like shit about his mistake). And that is his problem, you didn't force him to send any dick pic to her so you shouldn't receive any bad effect from that, any mistreatment.
On the other side, you can't be jealous for something he did before you even started to know each other. Sure you can feel jealous but you can't expect him to be accountable for that or to do something with that, it's a feeling you should manage by yourself. You can be upset at him if he sent a dick pic while he was already in a relationship with you, though, because it means he would be breaking the promise of loyality any relationship implies. But if it was even before knowing you...

Said that, I think you should clarify to yourself in a clean way what you actually want to achieve in this situation, and what exactly felt wrong to you and what you want him to do about that. Once you have the answers you can probably have a more functional talk with him about the problem and take decisions rationally.

[Nikki1989]

I hope you never have anything to do with him ever again.

[Finchie40]

You aren’ t overreacting, he is talking out of his ass, cuz he knows he is a POS , No guy sends a dick pick to a girl to get a rating , he sends it hoping the girl will want it , so yes he is talking out of his ass and was hoping she fuck him as well , since she already cheated on her relationship with someone else , he was thinking he might have a chance with her. The fact that she is in a relationship already just shows what kind of boyfriend
You have , hopefully he is your ex now , When a guy tries to move in on another guy’s girl he is only thinking with his dick , He finds her beautiful and just wants to fuck her , that’s why you girls need to stay away from male coworkers when you are in a relationship already , you honestly should stay away from all men when you are in a relationship already because men that don’t care if a girl is in a relationship already , clearly just wants to fuck her , it’s a dominance thing , it boosts his ego thinking he can get a girl to choose him over her partner just so he can fuck her , Guys like that are the biggest pieces of shit on this planet cuz they have no respect , all they are thinking with is their dicks , If a girl falls for That shit, she is a piece of shit as well and stupid as fuck if she thinks this other
Guy is treating her better than her current partner , cuz all he is doing is trying to make himself look better that her current partner , treating her better than her current partner does just so he can fuck her , he will fuck her until he gets bored and then kick her to the curb , once he realizes Wow she cheated on her boyfriend for me so she will eventually cheat on me for another guy. I have witnessed this before so many times and people are just clearly selfish and stupid when they fall for this shit. So yes your Boyfriend is a POS , kick his ass to the curb where he belongs

[Guy13]

Yeah that's grounds for "I'm Done" for me.

[MrCommodore]

No, you're certainly not overreacting at all, he should never have done that.

[depeche2015]

yeah, i agree i didn't know it was a girl spefically i knew about this incident but didn't know how it was her specifially that made him act that way and put me through hell and wondering where i stand with him

[MrCommodore]

Did you dump his ass? I know its easy for a stranger to suggest dumping your long-term boyfriend and in reality it's not that easy.

[Gibbons44]

People who manipulate one into questioning themselves shohld get dumped right away.
It is difficult enough as it is to be genuine and open about life's topics - any level of negging/wilful invalidation is a huge no no.

[tinydiva1991]

Why are you obsessed about it? It was before you! You have his dick now don’t you?

[Wise4myage]

That's cheating if he did it while he is dating you.

[spartan55]

Good lord, could this post be any more confusing?

[Gabriel-Chicanito]

No!, seems like He's trying t' get'er back'.

[boobliker]

it's just wrong to send them!

[Alex8736]

that's messed up