Saw my boyfriend messaged a girl he used to flirt with before we started dating. should I be upset or is this okay?

[Anonymous]

He messaged her on Saturday just saying hello. I scrolled up and they used to flirt with him messaging her and her mostly ignoring him so they weren’t friends or anything beyond him liking her. He also keeps messaging his ex girlfriend repeatedly even when she doesn’t reply or leaves short replies. I feel really upset about this and like he wants something else than me or I’m not good enough. Should I be this upset or is it okay?

[PrettyPriya]

If it is someone that he just had a romantic interest in and not friends as you mention, probably not okay. I don't know what would provoke him to message a girl that he flirted with while in a relationship. That is a red flag in my opinion.

Now, if they were just friends and that flirting was temporary, then sure it is okay for him to say hello or ask how she has been. That is not the picture I am getting from your details. The other red flag is messaging an ex that is obviously not interested in talking to him.

Have you asked him why he is doing this? I would confront him about it and let him know how you feel. Trust, communication and respect are so important in a relationship. It feels to me that all three of those things are lacking right now.

There is no communication from you and a lack of trust (justified). There also seems to be a loss of respect from him by this messaging of other girls that are not just friends but former romantic interests.

[Guy13]

He messaged a girl before you started dating and you’re mad, Why? Look 👀, if it were me, the first 3 months with you doesn’t mean I’m yours all alone. You better be 6 months in before you start with cranky woman 💩. That’s a fact…unless you like Read and Ghost 👻 with this kind of complaining…

[WaterIsland]

He shouldn’t be doing that if he’s a good guy. Or at the very least he should have been honest with you instead of you having to find it out on your own.

[Iron_Man]

Talk to him about it

[Anonymous]

that's fucked up. just get rid of him