Am I overreacting about my boyfriend and my best friend hanging out together?

[Anonymous]

For context, my boyfriend, my best friend, and I were friends before me and him started dating. She's been my best friend since we were in grade school, and then we met him in high school and are all in the same friend group.

I trust my boyfriend entirely and I know he'd never stab me in the back. And I trust my best friend too. But lately, they've been hanging out more when I'm not present. Things like, he's in a band, and she likes to go to the gigs all the time, even when I'm not going. Or they go to the gym together, not always just them alone, but sometimes it is just them. Most recently, he's been working on creating a brand and she's a graphic designer so obviously, I thought she'd be a good choice to help out with logo design and social media. But now they get on the phone a lot for business and today, they were going to his place to have a meeting. (it's a minor annoyance that these business meetings don't include me even though I thought I was part of it, but whatever)

They never try to hide these things from me. They've never been secretive. And they've never been caught doing anything malicious.

But I'm uncomfortable and I don't know why. Because I'm not worried about cheating, so why does this bother me? Am I just being possessive? Am I being stupid?

Other things to note: She is in a relationship, but it's rocky and they've been fighting a lot. When she's vented and asked for advice, she often references how my boyfriend does "x" so why can't hers do "x", or make comparisons like that? She's gone to us both as a collective for advice. But she's never expressed an actual interest in him, even before we were dating.

I'm just super uncomfortable now and I hate it.

[johanmdsn]

Firstly, it’s fair to ask yourself why you are feeling uncomfortable about the situation. It seems as though you are either distrustful or are insecure about yourself as it appears that you are somewhat worried that something more might ensue from them hanging out so often without you.

In saying that, I do believe that there is a certain point in time in which both of them hanging out alone so often becomes disrespectful to you. There are boundaries in relationships that need to be respected by both your friend and your partner otherwise at some point hanging out alone all the time might just be an excuse to spend alone time together and we all know how that can span out.

Set your boundaries and tell them firmly how the situation makes you feel. At the end of the day, that’s the only part you can play. You can’t stop them from developing feelings if that’s what you’re worried about, and if that ever happens it’s safe to say that you’ve lost nothing but rather dodged a bullet (or two).

[Anonymous]

heyyyy you may want to rethink your friendship and your relationship...

when i was in high school i liked a guy, and my friend met him after i introduced her and uh yeah they started dating (yes she knew i liked him)... it lasted 2 weeks. she invited me over to hang out at her house like i usually do. and he was there. and then they kissed. in front of me. it extremely damaged my friendship with her. unfortunately i'm still friends with her but i still hate what she did and still resent it. her life is worse off than mine tho so i laugh at her lol. stupid bitch.

anyway. what i'm saying is. your friend and boyfriend are not good people. there is a reason he's hanging out with her more than you... and honestly that's shady and i wouldn't put it past him that he already cheated on you.

[magiusX26]

you say you trust but your actions show a subconcious distrust. i suggest at least trying a sit down conversation about all of this with both, unless you do feel more distrust than you have stated. if that higher level of distrust is there, maybe see about having a P. I. look into it (a more extreme measure but also a possible not terrible idea) . somewhere in between is to maybe start being in on more of such meetings/get togethers between the 2.

i honestly see her comparissions between her boyfriend and yours as her showing interest in your boyfriend and as a possibility of being a red flag

[Pacquet]

I feel like it’s normal to feel jealous in these situations. It’s hard to pinpoint exactly where it’s coming from but maybe you feel like your friend is crossing a boundary you didn’t know you had. The best advice I can give is to ask yourself many questions to the point of clarity and then tell your boyfriend how you feel but just don’t go around pointing fingers or causing fires. If possible I’d run this by a trained counselor, the internet can only do so much but I have a hunch that it’s boundaries. Hope this helps.

[Guy13]

Yeah, that is not a good sign. There is nothing you can do about it though. If it shows you do not trust them then it is done.

[chicosuave]

you are being insecure and you should be ashamed of yourself. its a disgrace to humanity for being insecure. nothing will happen. they are just friends and no more. When women friendzone men then its a friendzone forever and ever. they are only brother and sister.

[FilmGuy93]

The situation makes you uncomfortable because them hangingout is happening outside the context that their friendship started in.

They know each other through the context of knowing you. By them hanging out alone, they are establishing a new connection that doesn't involve you.

[Anonymous]

Okay--one very important detail is missing from your story: how hot is your friend? In particular, how would you rate her body? Are either her boobs or her butt great to exceptional? And if so, is your boyfriend a boob man or a butt man? Does she have a very sexual energy about her? If you're trying to determine whether or not your feelings are an over-reaction, these things are very important.

[jshm2]

Yeah you're just jealous for the attention.

But they have lives too, and he's just your fucking boyfriend, not your husband. You don't own either of theirs attention.

[Anonymous]

oh you mean the way you backstabbed me you fucking asshole with that ugly skinny horse toothed jackass. also do yourself a favor and quit lying he never been to no gym. by the way he most likely is cheating on you with her and serves you right karma's a bitch and you deserve payback

[Opinion Owner]

he could be banging your best friend

[Anonymous]

The long and the short of it is that they are going to do whatever they are going to do (if anything) regardless of what you do.

If you allow your fear to rule you, it will destroy you, no one else need do a thing.

[SpanishRose]

Always trust your gut, you're feeling this way for a reason. If something feels off it usually is. in my opinion.

[Fanfare690]

Tooo close I'd tell both of them to back up or let them be with eachother. They never took your feelings into consideration either it seems

[rienna888]

Honestly I’d be jealous too. I suggest speaking to your boyfriend about it because he wouldn’t want u hanging around a guy everyday even more than him.

[SnowedIn]

Yes you're overreacting. Stop worrying about it or you'll worry it into existence.

[Sasha0426]

First off, talk to them. They probably don’t realize what they’re doing, but you need set boundaries. Nothing will be resolved if you don’t say something.

[suzzieQ]

Have you voiced your concerns and why you feel the way you do to you boyfriend and friend, if not that is where you should start.

[itsalyssaagain]

Girl I just read the title alone and I wouldn’t like it.

[NostalgiaSenpi]

I trust my boyfriend entirely and I trust my best friend too. If you really trusted them, you wouldn't be asking this.

[RHK36]

Trust your gut. Me personally I find it wrong and that's with very limited knowledge.

[BrookeS]

Maybe try to set up a threesome just to see their reaction

[Anonymous]

Betrayed comes from the people we trust blindly. Hope you understand.

[Texas_guy]

You’re not wrong to feel the way you do. You may just want to talk to him about it

[Hangry06]

If she hot, they banging