Coworker's work day after her birthday?

[Laxhofi]

I have a crush on a coworker but we already talked about it few months ago and how she is busy with her life and having to break up with a boyfriend she has apartment with on a lease to run out and telling me we should prob stay coworkers (tried to ask her out)...

Anyways, I usually buy gifts for the other two yong girls working there (for their birthdays) and bring them in a bit late (cause of different shifts times) I would like to buy my crush a gift too, but she's not gonna work for the rest of the week and I'll probably get a shift with her next weekend, is that too long to wait for a bd gift?

Or should I drive there to get something to eat Today (she works her shift at 6pm) to bring her the gift, should I let her know through phone sms or not or... I dont want to spook her out or think of me in a negative way, like creepy or weird, any thoughts? Would you have done it differently?

[PrettyPriya]

I would suggest waiting until you see her and not drive there on a day when you are not supposed to work the same shift. She might indeed get spooked. Since she has told you that the timing is not right, that would not be a good thing.

Just wait until you are both working. Just because it is a late gift doesn't mean you cannot give it to her. If she has half a brain, she will know it is because you two didn't work together.

Let me just point one thing out, she said you should just stay coworkers. I agree with her completely on this. That is why so many companies do not allow workplace relationships. They are a distraction when they are at their best and a disaster when they are at their worst.

I always ask people suggesting this is a good idea what would happen if you had a horrific fight and then had to work with each other. Would you be able to do it? Don't bank on her quitting and you staying either. There are just too many complexities with it for my liking and I always advise to not do it.

[Laxhofi]

Priya, thank you for the insight. I know this won't change anything you said, the workplace I work at is a small business restaurant, in a way... that might actually be worse, since the emplyees don't come and go as much as in a big restaurants. I'm a cook ( just so you know where I'm coming from) And you're right, about the coweorker situation, its why one of our other young cook left the job, after we all found out he date the other two girls I havn't even met yet, and apparently one of them found out he was also messing withthe other one,, well,, short story is, he got fired in the end, cause he went into a rage and trashed the kitchen one night

[PrettyPriya]

You are most welcome. I still just stay wait until you two are there at the same time. I have received gifts from friends that couldn't be there around my birthday. It was no big deal to me.

Yes, that is the problem with workplace romance. It can get messy. Some places allow it though and people do indeed make it work. To me, it is too much of a risk. Best of luck to you and I am sure she will love the gift.

[Laxhofi]

I am sold on your suggestion! I thought too it might be a bit overstretch to go there just for that and make her feel like I dont get it or some negative ideas into her head. I think your comment is the best one. Thank you very much! I hope you are well in your life and I wish you the best too

[PrettyPriya]

Thank you for such a kind reply. I think she would be a little caught off guard. She will appreciate as much as if you gave it to her on her birthday. When you do give it to her, you can say "I wanted to give this to you closer to your birthday but our schedules didn't line up. So, happy belated birthday!".

[Changiis07]

You're coming from a good place and if you want to give her something today or buy her food do it or when she comes back I'm sure she'll appreciate it. You can also write her a note that you don't want her to think of you in a negative way but that you wanted to buy her something

[Laxhofi]

Thank you for the reply, and your piece on this, what do you think of PrettyPriya's suggestion? Im not sure yet what to do, but she has good points too

[Changiis07]

Very good reply! I agree

[Laxhofi]

Thank you! I hope you're doing well and take care

[KrakenAttackin]

@Changiis07. Don't jack him off. If she was interested she wouldn't have pushed him off. Stop telling men to simp.

[Guy13]

My first question to you is, "are you intentionally trying to get shot?" Stop and think about this for a moment. You are crushing on a woman at work. She has a lease and residence with boyfriend and still together. And she's going to be hooking-up between the three of you over the next 9 months. But, you guys have some kind of Plan.

If it were me, I would get her something that could not be traced like a nice gesture or food or something like that... Food-in and out and no one ever knows except at there place, "this man don't even know me and bought me birthday gift and you NOTHING" during their next fight.

If I am that boyfriend then i may be jealous no matter what SHE may be lying about with the Situationship from Hell volcano about to blow...

[Laxhofi]

Hi, guy13, I'm not trying to get inbetween them. I know already she took him in second time now and its already not working out between them (again) I'm sure she's done this time, as soon as the lease is up in flames. I did had a talk with her about all of that before. I'm not trying to get between them here, like I stated, I gave the other two cowoerks bd gifts just as friendly gesture. Yes, I have a crush on her but noone knows but her and her friend, yet, i'm not making waves, here, she knows the others got gifts on their BD's I dont want to leave her hanging just cause """I have feelings for here""" that she already pushed me to back off on cause apparently she is still in a relationship, as you said yourself

[Laxhofi]

and yes, in the others point of view it would look badly for her boyfriend and get jealouse, as you said and bringing that up in their next fight and probably the guy coming over to kill me, but how is it a crime to give a coworker a gift on a birthday, isn't that a friendly gesture, its not like Im asking her to date here

[D_Bone_Steak]

Before I even read I'm going to state I am very anti-workplace fraternization. Reading begins...

eh... buying stuff for chicks... you a simp brah. Chicks are supposed to buy us stuff. I don't relate to any of this. Just being real this shit sounds weird. This is why I think you should never mix work with lust/romance... you're worried about stuff like how you look. You're putting yourself in 'situations' my dude.

Stop it... get some help.

[Laxhofi]

Thank you for that. I respect your opinion, but still, gifting your coworkers (at least in my workplace) always a thing, even on other occations and usually accompanied by a coworker'a only party. Again, thanks for the reply

[Laxhofi]

also, yes, you're right about the workplace romance is a bad idea to begin with. Some do make it work but its one in a hundred when I think of it, not to mention the risks and dramas and looking like a fool...

[D_Bone_Steak]

At least you understand... if you're going to do it anyway, just be careful while you do it. Mixing the workplace with the bone zone could always go bad just way too easily. It's like other rules, like, never mix money or business with friends and family... it just never ends well.

I thought I knew one couple that made the workplace thing work... I started talking to him again recently... no... he's just there for his daughter. Another unhappy dude stuck with a chick for reasons. Another woman I know, and I know the dude also... she just had his baby and just kept fucking random guys from the workplace, and at her new workplace. She even hit on me knowing I had open a strict rules about women at the workplace... glad I didn't get mixed up in that. Can you imagine what it was like having drinks with 4 dudes that all think she's his girl? They all thought they had a wife on their hands. Years later... nah... none of them and even the guy that had a baby with her... all of them are empty-handed. She can't stop riding the carousel... the cock carousel.

[KrakenAttackin]

Bruh, she's not interested or she wouldn't have put you off. Also, don't simp for all these women, they don't appreciate it, they come to expect it.

[Laxhofi]

I see where you;re coming from, though in my workplace, coworkers give gifts to one another, although u're right, they do expect it lol

[noohair]

My father taught me a valuable lesson. Women where you work are off limits. No exceptions. I have seen men lose their careers over this.

[Iron_Man]

Get food