Is this a good suggestion or an unreasonable one?

[Anonymous]

My mom was suggesting for me and my boyfriend of 1.3 years to get engaged that way it’s a more “sure” thing because my uncle was telling my mom that he doesn’t want to meet my boyfriend unless he sees that we’re engaged

my boyfriend and I have been in a committed relationship for over a year now and I’ve met his entire family and they welcomed me with open arms…nobody on his end said that we had to be “engaged” in order to meet me

Great idea it’s never too soon

Unreasonable idea - too soon and pressuring

Updates

1 y

Is my uncle being unreasonable in not wanting to meet my boyfriend?

[MementoMori777]

Nope, from what I heard they say you shouldn't propose until you date for at least 4 years because from what I heard according to stats relationships that have been together for 4 years or more before proposal usually are lasting relationships so I'd say it's you and your partners decision only, no one else's

[slatyb]

You are 30? This is your decision. You don't need advice from anyone. Tell your uncle "Ok, your loss."

[Asker]

Totally agree and it is his loss in the end….. he won’t be part of my wedding if he’s gonna be so judgmental

[Anonymous]

It's important to remember that getting engaged should be a personal decision made by you and your partner, based on your own feelings and readiness for marriage. It should not be something that is done simply to please others or to meet someone else's expectations.

While it's understandable that your mom may want to see you in a committed and stable relationship, it's not reasonable for her to pressure you into getting engaged before you feel ready. It's important to communicate your own feelings and needs to your mom in a clear and respectful manner, and to prioritize your own emotional well-being and relationship goals.

At the same time, it's also important to recognize that your family members may have their own opinions and expectations about your relationship, and it may be helpful to have an open and honest conversation with them about your plans and intentions.

Ultimately, the decision to get engaged should be based on your own feelings and readiness, and should not be influenced by external pressures or expectations. It's important to trust your own instincts and to communicate openly and honestly with your partner and loved ones about your relationship goals and plans.

[Asker]

I completely agree! This should be when me and my partner are ready to do so!

[Opinion Owner]

Absolutely! The decision to get engaged should be based on your own desires and feelings, and should not be influenced by external pressure from others. It's important to prioritize your own well-being and happiness, as well as those of your partner, in making decisions about your relationship. Remember that you have the right to make your own choices and take your own time in deciding when and if to get engaged.

[Asker]

Ya and every couple is different not everyone engages or marries some choose to move on together and then marry later on

[Opinion Owner]

Exactly! Every couple has their own timeline and it's important to do what feels right for you and your relationship. Whether that means getting engaged after a year, waiting longer, or not getting engaged at all, the most important thing is to make a decision that is true to your feelings and values.

[Asker]

Yup for sure I totally agree!

[Jdjfjcjj]

Have you dated a lot of guys, introduced them to your family, and then eventually broke up? Could it be that they don't want to meet any more guys unless it's something serious

[Asker]

It was only one guy that I brought over to my uncles house and this was 11 years ago…. my current boyfriend is nothing like my ex - he’s honest loyal and a good guy

[KAYJJAY]

I think that it is what you want. Your uncle is being unreasonable but it might not be to soon. It is all about what you and your boyfriend think.

[Jamie05rhs]

Your uncle is not unreasonable at all. I have seen so many girls go through so many boyfriends. I can certainly understand not taking any of those relationships seriously (from his point of view).

[Asker]

I don’t go around…. this is my second serious relationship and he’s a good guy - not a cheater or stealer like my previous boyfriend that my uncle met 10 years ago

[Asker]

My uncle is being judgmental in not giving my current boyfriend a chance cuz he’s a good guy and he is serious about me

[Jamie05rhs]

If he's so serious about you then let him propose and marry you.
He should put his money where his mouth is.

[Asker]

I’ve met his entire family and we’re close….. secondly I feel that that puts unnecessary stress and pressure and secondly we have spoken about a future toegether - moving in together later on

[Jamie05rhs]

All of that doesn't mean shit. Talk is cheap. Sorry, but your uncle is completely justified in his approach and I stand behind him 100%.

[Asker]

Nobody in my bfs side of the family said we had to be “engaged” in order to meet or be part of family get -togethers, etc…I think it’s very rude

[Jamie05rhs]

Of course no one on their side said that. Because you're sweet and loyal and they trust you.

[Asker]

Yes I am an honest loyal person but so is my current boyfriend - my mom approves of him 100%

[Asker]

How did you know that about me?

[Jamie05rhs]

Just a hunch.

[Asker]

It was spot on correct 💯

[Jamie05rhs]

Cool :)

[noohair]

What have you and your boyfriend discussed?