Am I correct to be creeped out by this?

Question

I’m really lost on what to make of all of this and was hoping GAG could help me out.

My fiancé had handed me his phone to look at something on IG, he kinda left and left me with his phone to review some wedding things well while looking I happen to see a girl who’s profile pic is a selfie with nothing covered but the nipples.

Throughout our relationship I had never spied on him before but that one was too hard to resist so I clicked on her profile. Well turns out she is his ex (totally fine he is entitled to a past)

except she looked so young, well I scrolled a bit to figure out he had started dating her a week after she turned 18 and he was 30 at the time.

I first thought ok at least she was legal I guess but then I saw them talking about her high school, she was still a high school student, I mean she invited him to her prom… no 30 year old should ever be invited to a prom!

from what I gathered her parents met him and consented but also from what I gathered (texts weren’t too clear) it seemed like he proposed by the time she was 20! what kind of 30 year old wants to be in a relationship with an 18 year old let along marry them.

More over it got me really concerned that he is 36 and I’m a 26 year previous miss universe contestant that makes about 6 times what he does every month so could he be with me just for my looks or money? Do I need a prenup? Should I worry he will trade me in for a hotter younger model after I have kids?

one thing for sure is that I can see some massive differences between our conversations and his conversations with his ex and it’s the only thing that’s giving me a glimpse of hope.

i love this man with all my heart and until a few days ago I would’ve trusted him with my life, he is an average looking middle class guy that is so good to me that I can never see a better human but this whole situation honestly got me throwing up from how nervous I am and worst part is I can’t confront him because I don’t want him to think I’m spying on him

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

I think you’re turning this into more than it really is. If there was something for him to really hide chances are he wouldn’t have given you his phone then leave you alone w it. Two if she’s of age regardless of whether she’s still in high school or not the law says she’s legal. If both her parents consented to it then there’s even more approval not just by the law but the two adults brought her into this world. As to why a 30 year old man would want something to do w an 18 year old. Well if the statements are true that girls mature quicker than boys than his maturity level would be much younger than a 30 year old female’s maturely level at that age. If that makes sense. I mean he barely broke the 30 year mark, less than a year ago he was in his 20’s at the time. I remember when I was in the military I met a girl. We talked a lot, she was working at the hotel we were staying at. I got along really well w her. She was funny, like to randomly just get up like me to go on little trips, be silly together, eat tacos. Just hang out. I found out a few days later that she was barely 17. About two weeks later she turned 18, in June, one day after my birthday. We started dating. I was 27 at the time. Yes I know not exactly 30. But for me as well as her, even though looking at it from a legal aspect that was the only part that mattered. So we waited till she was of age for us to be together. I met her father who was extremely nice, but could probably tear a hole through someone if he could considering he was ex military. We had fun. We stayed together for a number of years till the military life took it’s toll on her w me always leaving. She had graduated HS that May, nothing happened physically till she was of age. As to your finances, you could do a prenup but honestly men aren’t interested in women’s money. A woman’s worth financially does not make her more sexier in men’s eyes. Neither does her being a CEO, boss bitch, etc, etc. Sometimes it can be annoying. No it’s not cause he can’t handle a girl like that either, again it’s just annoying and no man wants to come home to a girl w a boss bitch, masculine mentality after working all day. But I always say men and women, if you have money, to get a prenup. You never want to think the worse, but when it comes to divorce things get ugly quick. Money shows people’s true character. Better to have it and not have to use it than to not have it at all. As for him just being w you for your looks. Honestly that’s part of the reason, well that was the main reason he even stepped onto your welcome mat because he liked what he seen. Now let’s just hope that after all this time he’s gotten to know you better that he likes you for more than just your looks. I’m sure you have to have a descent personality. Men aren’t going to want to be w women who have shitty personalities. But I think if he was just w you for the looks he wouldn’t take this big of a plunge by getting married to you if it was based purely off of looks. He could easily move onto another girl who was just as pretty or prettier. As to whether he would leave you for someone younger or prettier, no one can say.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

It's understandable that you feel creeped out and concerned by what you discovered on your fiancé's phone. The fact that he started dating someone who was only 18 when he was 30, and that he was invited to her prom and proposed to her by the time she was 20, is definitely concerning and raises some red flags.

It's important to have an open and honest conversation with your fiancé about your concerns and feelings. It's possible that he may have a reasonable explanation for his past relationship and can reassure you about his intentions with you.

However, it's also important to trust your gut instincts and to prioritize your own emotional well-being. If you have doubts or concerns about your relationship, it may be helpful to seek the support of a therapist or trusted loved one to help you navigate these feelings.

As for your concerns about your fiancé's intentions with you, it's important to communicate openly and honestly about your expectations and concerns for the future. A prenuptial agreement can be a helpful way to protect your assets and ensure that both parties are on the same page about financial expectations.

Ultimately, it's up to you to decide what feels right for you and to prioritize your own emotional well-being above all else.

Whatthefluff · Accepted Answer

Sorry to hear about the situation. Unfortunately, I think the only way to improve the situation is by bringing it up with him. Just ask him to be honest. Can he truthfully say he is committed to you? Don’t be afraid to be blunt and encourage honest answers only.

Nikki1989 · Accepted Answer

You have to confront him about this. I hope it all works out for you, but it doesn't look good.

lightbulb27 · Answer

I have no problem bringing up that you saw this and were a bit "agasp" and discuss. there shouldn't be secrets and there shouldn't be X's on his phone. These days, there's so many "long tails" of pics/videos and such, I forgive that.

It may be a bit of an over reaction, hard to say. He's somehow able to catch these young attractive women.

I'd wonder why didn't work out before.

We talked about all our prior dating and such and there were some value and some issues there.

ColHathi · Answer

I don't think those have to be red flags. I know a guy that seems to be into girls quite a bit younger than himself as well, but he's a nice guy. I think he just feels a connection to that level of maturity. I don't know why people here are turning it into some weird sexual thing, saying that a guy like that has to be a fucking groomer or pedo. Jesus. Madness.

I would talk to him. Given that you saw that basically naked pic of his ex on what, his phone was it? I wouldn't say the spying was entirely unreasonable.

Gent207-2 · Answer

I have never read so many red flags in a single post like woe!

So first, his past is borderline pedophilia, what's going to happen when you have kids and are no longer young and firm?

Second, there are 4 pillars of marriage: money, kids, in-laws and sex. These 4 pillars will make or break your marriage. Have you two had an in depth discussion on these items?

P. S Kids are an ALL or nothing matter. No room for half-yes or maybe (s) here

JustinTheGreat · Answer

He’s a groomer 🤢

a 30 year old has nothing in common with someone in high school. That age gap is disgusting regardless if she was legal or not.

I don’t think that situation necessarily implies that he’s using you for looks or money. But the fact that he’s into high school students is enough of a red flag for me tbh

nawtee_me · Answer

But you did spy on him? That is on you…. Can he trust you still? Do you know for sure that the girl didn’t just change her profile pic right before you looked at it? Maybe he has not seen it? Can he really be responsible for what someone else does on their profile?

Greenbins · Answer

Why would he keep all that on his phone?  You sound a bit conceded mentioning you are a model and he is average.  But yeah it's sounds like once your looks fade or he finds more money he will be gone

Iron_Man · Answer

Your story was serious until you started saying your a former miss universe contestant

Anonymous · Answer

You should consider becoming a scriptwriter with such wild imagination 😂🤣

Boomchakalaca · Answer

Leonardo DiCaprio behavior

Anonymous · Answer

Noooo you marrying a pedo 😭

Am I correct to be creeped out by this?

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