Is this suspicious or am I being triggered?

Question

I am a anxiously attached girlfriend over here currently in early onset therapy for helping with my insecurities and what not. boyfriend of three years has been amazing and patient but last night he wanted to call his friend Sean to consult work and advice as he is lost in his sense of direction. No problem, he’s slow and takes his time doing things. We got off the phone at 7 and he didn’t call me back until 9:30 and said they were talking catching up and that he made his decision on work. I immediately panicked though (without telling him of course, I internalize) I thought “two hours on the phone seriously? Probably talking to another girl? Why didn’t you answer my texts or calls? In my head tho not to him and I’m asking am I thinking logically or am I just being triggered?

quaranta · Accepted Answer

Your reaction is excessive, it's good that you are currently in therapy because if he notices these demands you have he could get put off at some point, and permanently. The more you give him reasons to walk on eggshells to not trigger you, the more the load he has to carry gets heavy, in stress, and at some point it falls. Unfortunately, all those episodes get stacked on each other and don't really "fade" (unless he completely forgets after a long time), so you must try your best to absolutely not add more to the list.
If he thought that not calling you for 2 hours was okay and that he didn't owe you any explanation, then it's not so bad because it would mean he still trusts that you don't get mad over such things and that he didn't expect another thing to keep in mind to be afraid of, there. So you better keep it like that, fear is the opposite of trust (and without trust you don't have any working relationship).
Most likely he didn't call back because he was talking with his friend for a while, maybe 30 minutes, then they continued to exchange material via text, while he was relaxing and minding his business thinking about what they just discussed, processing it.
And: in case your boyfriend doesn't talk to you because of something you have to worry about, the priority to think should be that he finds you like a "duty" or anyway something heavy to manage, and not that "there is another girl". Typically if someone replies in late or is not motivated to talk is because they don't feel really amazing in doing that, and not that they have someone else, because guys don't spend all the free hours of the day talking to girls, really... And viceversa. Any time I was in a relationship I wouldn't have been able to endure talking multiple times a day with my partner if there wasn't something really worthy to say, that would overwelm me as hell and I would like to relax and dedicate myself to many other things instead (which are not talking with other guys, lol).
So your suspects and demands are just exaggerated, unless he given you actual concrete reasons to suspect he is a cheater (like, he cheated on all his partners before, or he cheted on you already, or you found actual proofs that a woman in particular is in his targets from a while).
Don't make all this a self-fulfilling prophecy, don't make him avoid you because of your fear to get avoided.