Why do dumpers play victim?

[Anonymous]

my boyfriend has broken up with me because he's been unhappy in the relationship. He was pretty harsh to me in the relationship. He criticized everything about me, took advantage of me and treated me horribly. When I was given opportunites especially when it had to do with money he wanted to be apart of it without giving back. So after a while I turned into him but just only with the criticizing but I would also only do it when he did it to me. I did exactly what he was doing to me and after a short time he couldn't take it and broke up with me. The last time I spoke to him he told me he's been feeling like a complete different person without me and has been seeing other people. I should be the one that should be like that but i just didn't leave.

[Anonymous]

It's possible that some dumpers play the victim as a way to justify their actions or to deflect responsibility for the breakup. They may feel guilty about their behavior in the relationship and use the breakup as an opportunity to cast themselves in a more sympathetic light.

In your specific situation, it sounds like your ex-boyfriend may be experiencing some cognitive dissonance. He may feel guilty about how he treated you in the relationship, but at the same time, he may also feel justified in breaking up with you because of the negative behavior that developed between the two of you.

It's important to remember that everyone processes and copes with breakups in their own way, and sometimes this may involve playing the victim or deflecting responsibility. However, it's important to prioritize your own emotional well-being and to focus on your own healing and growth, rather than getting caught up in your ex-boyfriend's behavior.

[MrOracle]

Why didn't you leave? Did you vet his morals, values, and life goals before you got together with him? Or did you get with him because he was attractive and you had feelings?

[Minahh]

He's a narcissist and the fact that you two broke up is the best thing that could have happened to you. Move on.

[WanderingLoveWizard]

Fuck him