After rejecting someone, ever felt guilty for breaking their heart?

[Anonymous]

Could be anyone, the crush of your life, or the woman you planned your future with, or a close friend that was always there for you.

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+1 y

After rejecting someone, ever felt guilty for breaking their heart? And If so how did you deal with it?

[Screenwriter]

Nope. The only reason for rejecting someone is that you're not interested in being around them for a host of reasons. It's usually not ONLY one thing. There's no point in feeling guilty. You've decided you don't want to proceed. It's unlikely you've broken anyone's heart because rejection most often happens before ANYTHING of any consequence occurs.

I recently rejected a woman friend I was hanging around with. We'd been doing some dates together and she had interesting aspects of her personality. But I added up some insulting comments she'd made to me, along with some god-awful acting out in public, and decided that she reminded me of an 18 year old screamer-friend I had to break up with 48 years ago in college.

I was too old to be mistreated in that manner again. I very carefully thanked her for the valuable insights she'd given me and the fun we'd had, then said, BUT this, this and this occurred, it'd never occurred with anyone else in my adult life, and it means we aren't compatible. She swiftly left my front porch where I'd been talking to her. I sighed that I had to DO that, but it needed to be done.

But, as a salient punctuation to my dispensing with her, she TEXTS me a few days later asking if we could do something together. A clear indication I'd made the right choice because she was CLUELESS!!! And it certainly appears she was unaffected by what I'd said to her.

So don't worry about rejecting someone. If you have to do it, it's for self-preservation, and in most cases, unsuitable people are rarely affected.

[OlderAndWiser]

Yes, I have felt remorse and regret after breaking up with a few girls. On the other hand, one girl got the “return to Hell, demon!” response.

[Anonymous]

Maybe on some level. But then I remind myself that I GET rejected 10 times more than I reject. So... I don't feel bad about it for very long.

[BarryLiverstone]

Yep.

[Asker]

How did you deal with it?

[BarryLiverstone]

Took time to process. I actually wrote them a letter just never sent it

[Asker]

I see, thank you very much

[BarryLiverstone]

You are welcome. Is that helpful?

[Asker]

Won't know until I try, but knowing someone else feels the same as you does help. So yes, it was helpful