i remember AIM, but you did the best you could to set her in that path on how you see her through your eyes. Some women have a hard time getting over those insecurities, you did the best you could
What would you do differently?
Met the love of my life soon after. But, not knowing that would happen I would have "Made" it work and ride and ride out her growing pains.
That's what I would rather do, break my own heart before I hurt them. You're right though, you do always learn something
Well, I believe, the people that are open to learning do. Some people, unfortunately, end up with so much hate for the person that broke their heart that they hang on to the hurt and refuse to let go, to learn from it and move past it. Of course you would break your own heart, that's what you do for people you care for and love.
I think I've grown from it, I said sorry to the one woman I broke. For that I made my peace
Thats good. I'm really glad you're able to learn and grow from it. As I said, I don't believe everyone can, or at least is willing to. Was she receptive to your apology? Based on what I've heard from other people they would rather leave things alone. Not cut open healed wounds.
She was actually very rude and acted real juvenile but I killed her with kindness and walked away the bigger person
Please understand I am not trying to be rude or mean. Honestly. But this is the problem, it sounds like you did it to make yourself feel better. Perhaps I'm wrong but that's what it sounds like. My point is sometimes YOU break the heart and YOU have to live with the grief and leave them be to heal. I've been here. It's a sad reality but sometimes they never want to hear from you or see you again. However, you never really do know until you're in that situation, face to face telling them what they want to hear, something you should have said sooner or something they never wanted to hear from you ever. Again, not trying to be rude or mean, I hope you see that. Just trying to share the little wisdom I have on this topic.
And by you I dont mean you but the heartbreaker.
It was five years since it passed and I didn't cheat on her or anything but I felt really bad. I lived enough with it, I did it to grow as a person and know for myself that I can't dwell on the past.
And of course, I'm not taking no offense
Well given those facts I am sorry she behaved so childishly. She must have been hurt badly. It's unfortunate she couldn't just listen and walk away but had to be a brat about it. Either way, its done and it's time to move on. 😊
Oh I did lol and I hope you moved on from it :)
Hahaha well that sounds good for you. I have and I'm very happy with who and where I'm at.
Sounds like a happy ending
Guess we will find out. *fingers crossed* 😉
Hope you get yours too.
I think I have already
Good! Don't f*ck it up. Lol 😉
I won't lol
I couldn't have said it better myself, so I'm not going to try. haha
@Big_Biker_Daddy Haha! Good call, I've got this. 😉
This was probably one of the most mature answers 😐
Well this was a mature question haha Reading your question brought me flashbacks to reflect on things from the past and what I could have done differently. But, we all learn from our past.
You seem a way better person than that woman in your past. I wanted a question that made you think
I like to believe I've matured and grown from my past experiences. And congrats, you made me think and reflect 👏 haha
Thank you for sharing your experiences, I really appreciate it
Out of the 100 females that gave an opinion, thanks for selecting mine as MHO 🙂 Happy to have reflected and share my experiences. Was pretty interesting to read through others too.
Always keep in mind that.. never damaged emotional institutions which all human got by god by breaking hearts just for our personal gain, for those person who seriously in, lack of trust in today’s relationship... reiterating the high value of animal, thats why we take, in our home 🏠
That's very mature of you
So you're saying it's more kinder to let things go?
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Your mom is wise, she taught you all the good things. You had to do what you had to do right?
She probably thought you two were more, did you talk to her about it?
Yeah, we talked about it and spent some time together etc. This was twenty-five years ago and we still keep in touch, she's back in her home country though and married now so it all worked out okay.
Good for her! It worked perfectly
Certainly right about that
Like the movies?
La la land specifically
Thats funny lol
You were seeing someone when you gave him hope?
nope.. i can't do that to him and before i got a boyfriend... i already told him that i can't return his feeling... and we agree to be friend...
It just wasn't meant to be?
I don't know honestly. I'm 20 and it was my first relationship ever, and it was with a girl. I am still learning to accept myself, and deal with everything. I needed time, I was confused and wasn't sure if I loved her/wanted to be with her. So I told her that, but I cried like a little girl. She cried a little. Two weeks later, we talked and thought maybe it was a good idea for us to get back together. But I still wasn't sure. So she got very upset and told me I hurt her like anyone ever had. I really like/miss her, and it's hard to be without her. But I can't keep her here without knowing what I want.
If it was your first relationship you can't blame yourself for breaking it off, like you said its something you're doing to figure out what you want and need. You cried like a little girl, don't say that. You cried like how she felt towards you, do you two still talk? No judging here, girl or guy love is love right
No, she said she can't keep in touch with me as long as I don't know what I want. She told me to keep as much distance as possible :/
Why are you confused on what you want, do you love her?
I know I like her, but I'm not sure I love her. I've never loved anyone (except for my family), that's why I'm not sure.
Its okay, love is a hard thing to understand. Its not the easiest thing to harbor such feelings for someone
May I ask why this is happening?
I have had an exciting job opportunity open up and I want to take it, the problem is that it puts me on the opposite side of the state from my friends/family. My guy friend that has feelings for me is taking it really hard and has started lashing out towards me, I also have feelings for him and seeing him upset hurts me. He finally told me today that he is sorry but he feels hurt and doesn't know how else to deal with it. I feel awful, but I want to take this opportunity and I can't let emotions blur my judgment because I need to do this for me.
I would make it work, he shouldn't lash out on you. If it's something you worked hard for? l, he should be happy. Other side of the state isn't bad actually
This job is everything that I have been working hard for. I think the real issue is that we see each other every day because we currently work together and if I take this new job I'm not only moving hours away but it's also hard to say when we will see each other again. He told me that if I'm sure this is what I want then he will try to be supportive but it'll be hard for him. I get it, but him being mad is just making it harder for both of us.
Exactly! I mean how far would the distant be and what state is it?
We will be around 5 hours away from each other in TN.
Not going to lie... but that's not a huge distance,. You can definitely make it work
Makes you grow though right?
Yeah, and them too, hopefully. It would really be hard on them to face the same thing again, so it definitely won't hurt as hard next time.
Dragging it out... you must've felt really bad
Like a total asshole. Honestly it's probably the only time in my life I actually remember feeling ashamed of my behaviour. It took me months, and at times I acted out hoping that he'd get sick of my shitty attitude and dump me so it would be done. I think my guilt is compounded because I found my love shortly after and he's had a string of bad relationships and has gotten so bitter and angry at women. This was like almost 10 years ago, but still.
Do you feel maybe karma will come back because you found the "love" now
I think I've balanced it out... He's needed help a few times over the years and I've always answered and done my best. A few years ago before I got married I apologised and was completely honest and acknowledged to him how I felt and what I did to try and push him away and why. He said he knew it at the time but wasn't going to make it easy if I wanted out so he stayed for longer than he would have otherwise. I've never cheated or been in anyway unfaithful so I don't feel there is any karmic retribution waiting for me, and if he too had found happiness it probably wouldn't even weigh on my mind as we all have break ups in our past
I'm glad you were strong enough to apologize to him and admit you made a mistake. I've done the same with my ex
At the end of the day it's all we can do 😊
Thank you for everything
I haven't done anything 😛
You gave comments and answered what I needed. That's what you did
Oh well I'm glad for that then 😊
You let your ego get the best of you?
I did. and when I tried to fix things it was too of late. he never forgave me.
Time does heal all wounds right? Maybe it'll be better later on
it's been six years. hope he decides to forgive me even if he doesn't want to talk to me anymore
Im sure he has, thats quite a long time to hold a grudge
haha. you think so? two years ago I gathered some courage and called him up. he was like, actually I'm busy with something. I'll call you back. bye. end
Man some people just want to avoid things for the rest of their life, I rather confront the hurt. That's cowardice
I know. or maybe he just wants to keep me guilty for the rest of my life.
That's even worse, they shouldn't make you feel guilty
I know I wouldn't. one fine day, I'll probably barge into his house and demand an answer.
Do it! lol
Poor guy, you became better for it right?
Yeah, i really did
Thats what matters
Why? Since he was obsessing over you, why feel guilty?
Because he was so sweet & probably meant well. He even went as far as giving me a rose & ordering an old fashioned Coke bottle with my name on it because he remembered me telling him that I was mad because I could never find one with my name on it. But I couldn't help that I didn't feel anything for him. There were also some things that were off about him that was kinda creepy. But I just blew him off & avoided him & have not seen him since. I just feel like a real bitch by the way I went about lol :/
Off about him, how so?
Well, apparently he had done some time in Jail. And when I asked why he didn't really wanna tell me, which I understand, but it was still kinda weird... but the creepiest thing to me was that he would stare at me CONSTANTLY (something that I hate). Like he would sit right in front of me & just stare without even blinking an eye! And it was like an evil weird look too! He would totes win at a staring contest... just saying lol.
Win a staring contest lol Okay that is a little creepy like come on dude aren't your eyes dry yet?
Ya feel me lol? That's what I said... I nearly offered him some damn eye drops 😂
You shouldn't feel bad, he sounds weird as hell lol
Thanks :) I can't argue with that lol. Sweet but creepy...
Maybe another girl will be into that lol
Whatever floats that girl's boat I guess 😂 I wish him well!
Do you see her around?
No, I had called her before I was in her area and she was surprised to hear from me again, but since she claimed to be busy and didn't seem interested didn't bother seeing her. And we live on different continents (why it didn't work out in the first place) and had met on a third one, so there was no chance of running into each other at random.
At least you tried to apologize
You care for her?
I don't wish we were still together, but she's a lovely person and deserved better from me. We haven't been in contact for many years. I hope she found happiness with someone else.
Helps you grow
Yeah, I agree. None of us are the same people we were then. Holding on to the past wouldn't be helpful or productive.
No Ragrets? That sounds so familiar... lol
me too I left my ex at the time he was crazy in love with me.. it was heart broken but I couldn't do better than that.
@TheWorldEndsWithYou he started partying, hating on his parents, blocked me from everything, made new accounts for stuff and got new girlfriends every week...
Damn... he lost his way
yeah I don't know exactly what happened. I suspected he might have suffered from something, as I could sense he was just a ticking timebomb... I didn't know what to do
Do you feel better for it though?
yeah it's getting better
Why couldn't you date him?
a bunch of reasons like my family split cause father was kinda insane and we were real poor and mostly i dont want to have sex unless im sterilised which stops him from having his own kids which is wrong to make him do and not fair on him and we were real young, everyone in a relatoinship was out of it by the end of the month, i knew itd never last and he had just come from another country and needed to learn English and it would end up being drama for him and it would just be distracting him and he was already failing school, especially English
Your father went insane? Man thats really sorry to hear, did you think you made the right choice in the end?
i dont really know if i made the right choice but i hope i did
As long as you feel that way
The best person to make happy is yourself, thats right!
There's 1 I regret
Any one in particular you felt really bad about?
Poor guy, why did you break it off?
I was getting sick of his immaturity, it felt like I was dating an 11 year old.
He was ridiculously sweet though.
He acted like an 11 year old who was very sweet. You made the right choice
Haha I agree, but I do regret breaking up with him when he was starting to get attached.
Better late than never right?
I wouldn't be your friend that optical illusion of a dress gives me headaches "headaches"!
You wanted to be single or those just didn't interest you?
@kenjaminslutton lol😂😂 @TheWoldEndsWithYou i just wanted to be single and enjoy my life.
Do you feel you've made the right choice?
Yes i totally do
Special is good though
My best friend and I were Womanizer in the past
What are you now though
Why did you feel really bad about it?
we used to be really good friends and actually I had a gut feeling that he wanted something, I was 16, but I wasn't sure cause I was not that self confident and I was like no he couldn't but I somewhere knew it and after a year he told me and well I broke every contact to him
You ghosted him? Why were you not confident in yourself?
I did not ghosted him, I broke his heart and then left, he asked to be friends and I decided to end it, cause I thought with being friends he would still have hope and I killed that hope In all this year his affection for me got bigger, if I stopped that in the beginning he would have not get hunted so much like in the end
*hurted, stupid auto correct
I was about to say... like damn you even hunted this guy down but it was auto corrected. Rip off the band aid as fast as you can right? It hurts but it was the right thing to do
yes as fast as possible, thanks
Thank you for sharing your opinion
Obessed? it was that bad?
@TheWorldEndsWithYou yes in his own words.
Sorry to hear about your experiences
@TheWorldEndsWithYou I am trying to make our friendship work but safe to say it will never be the same. He texted me this morning "I will get pissed at you and we won't always be on terms but dont think my feelings for you will change. You will always be my friend" Plus he is very BIG on sarcasm so am not sure what to think.
That would make me so confused what to think
Sorry for what you had to go through with
@TheWorldEndsWithYou What dont kill you, only makes you stronger. It was kinda messy tho and I hate messes.
Just wipe yourself out, like Obi Wan said. If you strike me down I'll come back more powerful than you can possibly imagine
haha loool. ok
Better than stringing them along?
I did a long time ago but I made peace with the woman I hurt. Just felt like something that needed to be ask. That's good you never did though.
Does it still bother you?Closure ends unanswered thoughts and questions, it is good you had, to keep both of you at peace.I did not want anything bothering my thoughts
It doesn't bother me because when I said my closure. I did it with poise and maturity, knowing in myself I grew from her pain. So I apologized, thanked her for helping become a better person.Let's hope we keep our minds clear
That is the right step to take, not a lot would, but that is courage, very good thing
I appreciate that
You live up to your username indeed lol
That's insightful actually, she won't let you truly go
Very true, so not even once?
Well one time I broke things off with a girl that was too clingy and then she attacked me in the parking lot of our school months and months later. So I wish I'd been able to end things on a better note, but I've never regretted ending it in general. There's always other people in the world and it's often better in the long run for things not to drag out if you know it's a sinking ship
She sounds crazy, you were right to let things go
Yeah, I seem to have some pheromones that attract crazy, haha
I actually like crazy lol 😂
You were a kid, its okay. Just be better
Tell them what they need to hear, not what they want to hear
Yes. It's easier to get your own heart broken than to break someone else's. Your own heartbreak, you get over. I don't the guilt of hurting someone you care/d about ever goes away. Have you regretted breaking someone's heart?
No because majority of the time, its the person who breaks my heart. The one i did leave is because she never kept her promises.
I think i broke my crush's heart...
How did you do that?
Ouch, regretted it that bad?
when you turn your back on someone and they are dead less than a week later and you never stopped loving them. yeah regret that
damn... I'm sorry dude
You friend zoned a lot of them didn't you?
Yeah, there was no connection
Better to not fake it
Yeah. I hate to lead them on
How did you sort it out?
We talked it over and what went wrong and then we decided to be friends again and since then are good friends again but part of me will still feel guilty cause of how things ended
He forgave you though, learn to forgive yourself
True I guess and yeah that takes time👍🏽
Of course, thank you for the comments
No worries 👍🏽
Why do you say that? Getting played
because after you lost feelings for the person, you start liking other people and that's getting played
You were liking someone?
after a relationship or i lost feelings
As long as you grew from it, you're better person for it
As long as they were justified
The first was the distance... we were so young and he lived states away. And the second was because she confessed that she can't see herself loving or marrying a girl, just liking.
Now that's jacked right there, I don't mind distant to be honest. I don't feel distance should separate two people, and that girl is jacked.
I live in California and he lives in New York. I wouldn't be able to see him in over 6 years. It was hard but it wasn't going to work out. People change and we were way too far away. I needed someone I could actually hugNo, she wasn't. I asked. She was just honest. Plus it was open (she asked for it) so thinking that she would end up loving her boyfriend and just liking me hurt. I felt I would just be left behind and if she wouldn't ever love or marry me, then there is no future for us.
He's from New York? I wonder how that happened, I love my city. Los Angeles all day every day lol but you're right... a hug is a powerful thing.Oh it was open, were you catching feelings for her?
She and I liked each other but a week into the relationship she asked about how I would feel if she started dating this guy. I gave her the go ahead but she acted so differently with him than me so I guess I got worried and asked her that question.
How did she act differently if you don't mind me asking?
I mean me and her were kind of awkward but after he joined she was a bit cold. I never kissed her or had her hug me back when we were together but she seemed to laugh with him and was so much warmer and cuddlier and stuff
I wonder why it was different with you than when she was with him, did you ever ask her?
Im not sure. I guess its because she didn't know how to act around me and well she hasn't had much experience dating girls
I know what you mean, I've been in a relationship with a lesbian before. It can be a difficult and different transition
I would feel bad for feeling bad, you're kind.
thanks. I still really care about them and hope they come back... I don't blame them for leaving and I hope they're doing ok wherever they are, I just wish they didn't treat me like a stranger after they broke up with me. It really hurts to be their everything to their nothing.
sorry I ranted lol 😅
If they don't though its because he wasn't meant for you, and there will be someone who doesn't ever want to give up on you
its fine lol
yeah very true. I hope I find someone that special, I've grown a bit cold and untrustworthy. so whoever it is might have to break down a few walls.
And if he's the right one, he'll tear them down. Just give them a chance
I'll give them a chance, it's just if they're willing to take that chance. thanks for talking to me :)
What person heart did you break?
As long as you aren't living in the past
I'm not... why do you say that?
because you have no regrets and moved on
Lol who cares what people think
He was beautiful handsome to you, that's what matters
And that's all anyone can ask from you
thanks for that. I needed a good laugh
Man imagine lol
You could do that
Being with someone else that you love can heal wounds
It can. It can also make you realize people in the past weren't I needed anyway;
I'm glad you found what you were looking for
Aw dang... I'm sorry to hear that
Thats honest though lol
what do you mean? 😋💜
You wanted to be with him?
What ifs, one of the worst things someone can go through
Makes you think doesn't it?
What did you do?
I broke things off with him because I knew a long distance relationship would be too much for him to handle. He also started hanging out with one of my best friends too much. So my jealousy resulted in things actually ending and me doing something stupid. But in the end, he gained feelings for her, just like I thought he would.
What kind of stupid things did you do?
I smoked, I mean I ended up telling him~ but he's deeply against it. He just gave up on me.
What kind of smoke? Like cigarettes or weed?
Do you still do it? I'm not a big fan of cigarettes as well
This was very recent, I formed a habit that's hard to break, I was clean from it for a month but I relapsed and he got upset
I get cigarettes aren't good for you but to leave someone when they're trying their best. Sounds harsh
He told me that was his breaking point, he's given me many chances before. He doesn't actually believe that I was trying my best. He never really did communicate with me, like when I'd mess up or get him mad, he'd just stay quiet and not let me know. He expected me to find out myself. It was like he played the more stereotypical role of a female.
Stereotypical role of the female lol okay that was pretty funny right there. Thats the problem with many relationships lack of communication.
I was always the one trying to communicate, but he never wanted to really. He would always make me talk about myself, never him. But when I ask him to talk to me, he doesn't. I really did try, but I broke his heart without realizing it instead.
You shouldn't be so hard on yourself, it seems like you really did try your best. You grew from that relationship
He said it himself~ It just sucks. I really could've saved the relationship.
I see it as if things are truly meant to be, they wouldn't truly end right? But if it does, then you weren't supposed to
You're good thats why lol
Haha no. Not by a long shot.
I don't really know for sure.. guys don't look at me that way a lot anyways.
how did it happen?
Had it happened many times?
Breaking hearts or having my heart broken? That I know of I've only broken maybe 10ish hearts since I started dating 12 years ago. I'm pretty fearless so I ask people out and I, personally, don't take rejection hard.
10ish hearts? Damn! You're ruthless lol
Oh hush, I'm not the girl next door I'm the "little sister"
😂 that made laugh, and a little scary you put it in quotes
Why scary? It's in quotes because it's been said sooooo much 😧 however, I counter with something along the lines of "I'll be your sister the way Cerci was to Jaime Lannister." 🤣😂🤣😂 #noshame
You just game of thrones me lol I guess there's nothing wrong with being the "little sister@ 😂
I only saw the first 2 seasons-ish but yea, I did 😅
It's hard to keep up at times, I don't blame you lol 😂