Can you be selfish with someone you love?

[SunnyRS]

I think you should but I wasn't able to that's why I think my last relationship didn't work.
I wasn't able to open up to her and tell her I needed more of her time, nothing much 5 mins a day at least.
I gave her space cause she was coming out of a break up, but I think I gave her too much space and she might have thought I wasn't interested or there for her. Which led to our break up.
What do you think? Should I have been more selfish?
And should you?

Yes. And why?

No. And why?

[DaveJord]

It all depends on what you deem to be selfish. You have to set boundaries within any relationship... how do that and how you go about it matters. But those boundaries are their to protect you, as much as guide the relationship in a healthy direction. There some things at the individual level that you cannot compromise on or you will lose a little of yourself in the process. is that selfish? All depends.

But if the other person is unwilling or unable to compromise and respect your boundaries, then who is the selfish one? Hard to say honestly.

I would agree that i have been to generous in some of my relationships. I gave too much, too soon and when I asked for something I was trampled on... so again was I being selfish or was the woman just jerk?

In the end we all want what we want form our relationships, and there has to be a degree of mutual respect for our differences, and boundaries are absolutely necessary. But accusing someone of being selfish is such an easy thing to do, and its almost impossible to -prove... but people use it as a weapon and accuse to avoid taking responsibility for their own behaviors and basically blame shift. They put it back in you and you being who are wants to respect them... but in the end its BS.

[zeitgeist057]

You should just be honest. If you say you want more and they don't want to give more, you also should respect that. But to refrain from asking for what you want, you can't be upset if you don't get what you didn't ask for.

[Avicenna]

Sure, it's possible. Depends partly on your definition of selfish.

[SunnyRS]

Have you read the full context?
If yes then what do you think about my situation?

[DizzyDesii]

Its not necessarily selfish to want quality time. Those not willing to give it shouldn't even be in a relationship. I personally wouldn't care to give it daily in person but certainly weekly

[SunnyRS]

Thank you for the reply

[Anonymous]

you can be selfish with anyone because at the end of the day it's what YOU want. not to please someone else. wish people understood that more.

[Nikki1989]

Being controlling is NOT love.

[SunnyRS]

Did you read the full context?
Or your answer is based on just the question?

[Yannishka]

You can both be selfish together!