Am I in the wrong?

[Anonymous]

Sorry for my English its not my first language

So when i get mad at my boyfriend and he says sorry without hugging me it feels like he doesn't mean it. I told him that when we were fighting and explained how he could help me. When i did he got mad and told me that he doenst know how to help me because in the past i told him to not hug and stay away from me. I explained that yes he shouldn’t hug me in that type of argument but in the others he should. I explained in detail when he should and when he shouldn’t. He got mad that i changed how i wanted to be comforted and told me again that he doesn’t know how to help. Am i in the wrong for this

[SamuelFish]

yea ok hi. your not wrong for having regular human needs where if you have a serious argument he can't just make it all better in 5 minutes, but if it's less serious he can resolve things at the end by giving you physical affection in hugging you. It sounds like you need to be able to calm with him and slow things down so you can get more clear on each-others needs.

[BarryLiverstone]

You are both right and wrong. What are the times he should hug and times he shouldn’t?

[Asker]

okay so suppose we have a stupid argument about for example something that was said that I took wrong orso then he should hug me or if he did something small that I didn't like. But if we have a serious discussion or he made me really angry by saying mean things then he should leave me alone so I can calm down.

[BarryLiverstone]

The Challenge is he can’t read your mind and know how mad you feel. That’s your responsibility to communicate and tell him how you feel and what you need. He listened to what you wanted and tried to give you what you asked. It’s going to be tough on him to judge if you need space or not. Better for you to ask him in each case.

What mean things does he say?

[astrophelle]

Your boyfriend seems so rude and lacking in empathy please feel like you're wrong for this toxic dudee.

[Anonymous]

It's normal to want physical attention after an argument! You deserve a hug