Cannot afford fiancees medical expenses, so... Legal marriage or commitment ceremony?

[dudeinohio]

My fiancee has many health issues, including diabetes. She's an "agent orange baby". She has 16 prescriptions and a number of specialists. She's currently. on medicaid, which covers 100% of all her prescriptions and 100% of all her other medical expenses.
Once we marry, she loses this. On the insurance market, prices are absolutely terribly high, even with subsidies. My insurance is way better than most options on the market; but still has minimum prescription costs, deductibles and all that other stuff.
End result is that her expenses could easily cost me over $400 a month. I can't afford this. Her disability check barely covers all her other expenses and she cannot contribute.

So... If we have our wedding, we go through everything, except our officiant does not turn in our marriage license. Nobody knows the marriage is not legal, except for us. Not being "legally" married allows her to keep all her benefits. We wear our rings and she goes through the legal process to get my last name.

I'm a traditionalist and want the legal wedding, knowing this could bring us to total financial ruin. But I understand the fake wedding is the logical choice. She is good either way, but is supportive of my choice to. prefer the legal wedding.

What should I do? Thanks!

Updates

+1 y

Update; we will have a legal wedding.

[8UniquelyBoring8]

This is a difficult decision because it involves balancing your desire for a traditional wedding with the financial realities of your situation. Ultimately, the decision is up to you and your fiancee. However, you may want to consider speaking with a financial planner or healthcare advocate to explore all of your options and find ways to mitigate the financial burden of losing her benefits. You may also want to check with your state's laws to ensure that your plan for a fake wedding is legal. Ultimately, the most important thing is to make a decision that feels right for both of you, while being mindful of the financial and healthcare challenges that lie ahead.

[Enaya]

If you are traditional, do a religious wedding but don't register it. Nothing legal, that saves on the financial issue.

[dudeinohio]

Thanks for your comment, it helps😊

[Enaya]

Sure, good luck

[Enaya]

Thanks for the update. Hope all goes well for you both.

[dudeinohio]

Thanks

[Geckoman]

I am in a situation similar to your fiancée's—different circumstances, but the same situation. Until the laws change, my forever fiancée and I held a commitment ceremony back in 2018. We registered for gifts under her parents' names and do not share bank accounts or similar arrangements. Additionally, she has not changed her last name. I have a lawyer friend who was a juror on an SSI fraud trial with the very same circumstances. He said the individual had to serve time in jail, plus pay back over $30K! He said they don't prosecute that often, but when they do, they want to set an example. So, that's why we try to fly under the radar as much as possible.

I'm probably answering this a bit late, but I hope you are still living together happily and she still enjoys her benefits.

[dudeinohio]

We are married and she's off her benefits and on my insurance. We are getting by ok.

[Ben487]

I would say commitment ceremony is a better idea. Unless there is some kind of financial benefit in marriage for you or she demands a legal marriage... why do it?

[Ben487]

Congratulations on finding a Fiancee

[dudeinohio]

Thanks!

[Anonymous]

I think the answer is clear. There's only one true authority that recognizes your marital bond that really matters and that's God. And I think he'd understand you not legally being married.

[dudeinohio]

That was a point she brought up. A good point

[DextroShade]

Just do a covenant marriage with no legal paperwork.

[slatyb]

Do not get legally married at this time.