How did your relationship change after marriage?

[sheikalana]

Me and my partner already live together and I must say we are a great team and get along with each other very well. We plan to get married in the future and I wonder if our relationship is going to be much different from what it is right now because honestly has been great so far.

[molonski2]

Honestly , it will be tough , no marriage is easy , so many many things to deal with children and families , its possible but extremely unlikely it will last forever , you need to go into it with a truthful mindset , marriage is about compromise , keeping things exciting ( extremely tough ) , its about financial stability , its about understanding , its about outside interests , everyone knows that the easiest woman to bag is married / bored , just looking for something different.

Everything will change , heaps of things will piss you off , keep yourself in shape , understand that the above is how it is , and proceed with caution. I have my good friend here at the moment ( Australian - now in Hua Hin ) , just going though separation and divorce after 30 years , don't be scared to begin counselling early , and keep communication lines open as your life continues.

Good luck , you are young and you are really going to need that luck.

[SnowedIn]

Marriage is work in a good way. Like a career. You invest hard work in it and there are rewards and you grow and enjoy.

Yes, people change and relationships change. Change does not equal bad.

You make sacrifices. You compromise. You don't always get your way. But you also have a partner. Someone who understands you. A buddy. A non-judgemental friend.

You change by being closer. Sharing even more. But also by recognizing that you're your own person in the relationship.

[sheikalana]

I love what you wrote. Thank you.

[jennifer_bloom]

I watched married couples at my old church and sometimes the husband or wife would improve their behaviour after marriage and sometimes they would get worse after marriage. I remember a very obese man married a very skinny women and then the obese man lost weight because he wanted to please his wife and the skinny women became obese because she thought she did not have to watch her weight anymore, now that she had a husband who would not leave her if she gained weight.

[California_Poppy]

There are ups and downs in every relationship and people do change a little bit as they get older and mature.

Its just up to the people and the amount of effort they are willing to put into maintaining the relationship. Some people get too comfortable or stop trying. It doesn't have to be that way though.

Never stop 'dating' eachother, if that makes sense.

[sheikalana]

Makes so much sense. Thank you.

[asphaltrhymes]

I wouldn't know, but I feel bad for couples who get married and then get lazier, get worn down by time, or get worn down by in-laws or bickering demands and stretched for time 🙃😬

[sheikalana]

I agree.

[Unit1]

I have only witnessed other married people say how the relationship has changed for them.

The sex died completely.

They became fat and ugly and got hair loss.

Often being in a bad mood or fighting.

They ( men only) told me not to marry.

[Bricealan]

Ours changed soon after we got married... and marriage did change our relationship. Hard to detail just how, but it did. and the marriage did not last.

[sheikalana]

Shame. Did you remarry?

[Bricealan]

No. Gun shy now.

[ChooChooHaha]

Of course it changes. But it's up to you both to decide how that'll be.

[exitseven]

We were married for a very short time before we had kids. We did not have much money so we really depended on each other to survive. I think it made our relationship better.

[sheikalana]

Still together?

[exitseven]

Yes going on 28 years

[sheikalana]

Awww I love that.

[nolabels]

Saying "I do" was like flipping a light switch in my wife.

She changed 180 degrees overnight.

Not in a good way.

[sheikalana]

Too bad. Are you still together?

[nolabels]

Yep, for 32 years now.

[sheikalana]

What made you stay if you say your wife changed in a bad way?

[nolabels]

It's very complicated.
It'd take me forever to tell the whole story.
I'm no angel, myself. I want to make that clear. I'm a guy who has faults like everyone else.
Yeah, it's very complicated.

[BoopBoopBeep]

She immediately quit trying. I'm so glad yours worked out better. :)

[sheikalana]

May I ask what exactly did she quit?

[BoopBoopBeep]

Putting any effort into herself, her appearance, bettering herself, her career path, the house (she was living there alone while I was deployed)... look liked we got robbed when I got home. She quit any kind of courtship, basic human decency, the ability to engage in an action that did not directly benefit her. She couldn't even make coffee in the morning because it was "so much hassle"... I mean I could go on, but really if you can name it, she quit trying to improve upon it.

[sheikalana]

Oh wow that's a real lack of effort. Who decided to file for divorce then?

[BoopBoopBeep]

Well we weren't married... was going to be after the deployment... haha surprise. I stuck around for 8 years of couples therapy. 3 therapists who said she was a narcissist who wasn't going to get better, then she left me after my heart attack. Oddly, a month later she "left me" again.

I was like Yeah I heard you the first time.

She said, and I kid you not:

Right, but remember when I said "well I didn't want to be the a-hole who broke up with you after a heart attack, so i needed you to take me back"

I was like yeah and remember how I laughed afterwards?

[sheikalana]

So much money spent on therapy... Glad you got rid of her.

[BoopBoopBeep]

Yeah she'd probably have been better off just putting it in an S&P fund and letting it ride for all the good it did her... but of course what do I know. I do wish her the best though.

[KatherineJ]

If you remember than a marriage means work, it will only get better.

[D_Bone_Steak]

Nothing really changed... same sex... same shit...

[slatyb]

My wife feels more secure.

[sheikalana]

I feel the same.

[HaveNoName]

Never had a relationship till the day we got married. So there was nothing "to change".

[Paul09]

How does marriage change anything? It's just a status.. The real question, is how long can you stand each other?

[JesseP1nk]

This.

https://www.youtube.com/embed/eBoFwqftDyU

[AnusNdaPainus]

Way too comfortable with each other don’t even close the bathroom door anymore

[krin_m]

Did not change much.