Have you ever dated a dismissive avoidant woman? How did it turn out?

[ReginaGeorgina]

[Lynx122]

No I want things to be clear between us like I want to feel loved and know where we're standing. I hate it when you can never be sure if this person actually likes you or they change their behavior things like that. Either it's someone trying to control you and trying to gain power over you by always giving you the feeling you need to do more to be accepted by this person or they're just a person that doesn't really care about anyone much or has other priorities either way it's not a good situation to be in.

[mommymommymommy]

For those wondering what it is: People with a dismissive-avoidant attachment style do not want to rely on anyone, and in turn, do not want anyone relying on them. They value their freedom highly, believing that they function at their best by themselves. They have no need for support or reassurance, so they may seem very confident.

[asphaltrhymes]

While they sound beneficial to society and all, I don't think I could date such a woman 😂

[smashleyy]

I’ve been involved with a man with that kind of attachment style but regardless of gender it’s best to stay clear especially if you’re seeking a long term commitment. emotional intimacy is a no for them which I think is important for any healthy relationship. They don’t just avoid their own emotions but also their partners. To say the least it’ll fuck you up😂

[Inbox]

@smashleyy Was yours a true relationship or situationship like mine? She was very slutty (as many of them tend to be who have Avoidant attachment) and the emotional immaturity was breathtaking even though she’s 26 now.

For 6 months she kept me at bay and would have continued probably forever if I hadn’t walked away (I was still approaching other girls after a few months because my intuition kept telling something was wrong with her).

In short, I think she didn’t want to be with me, but didn’t want me to be with anyone either even though it was painfully obvious this girl was very much into me. She still kept trying to get my attention almost a year later SMH

[ProbablyClueless]

@Inbox It's the classic paradox of "I don't know how to be with anyone, but can't stand the thought of being by myself." It seems like people who want to have sex with a lot of different partners are like that.

I wish I could say that highly promiscuous people could also be emotionally healthy, but they never seem to be. 😅

[Inbox]

@ProbablyClueless... No, you're looking at the external then judging the internal when it comes to assuming Avoidants are like that by choice - they're not like this by choice because it's coming from childhood trauma. My understanding of them is for example, have you ever really liked someone right after a painful breakup? You want to move forward, but are scared because the pain of the past keeps coming up.

Fortunately for people like me and maybe you as well, eventually we will get over it. With Avoidants, without therapy and/or healthy relationships from experience, that pain never gets resolved. So, every time they fall for someone, it's highly likely that trauma gets triggered like PTSD - it's a miserable existence. Most people abandon them because they don't want to put up with all this hot and cold behaviors. Mine acted like a typical shitty extreme sorority girl without ever being in shitty Greek life. .

Easy sex without strings or every time I like someone, my PTSD gets triggered? I can't blame them.

[smashleyy]

Was almost the exact same as yours. We started off as a situationship and I had no intention of having anything further since I just got out of a pretty abusive relationship 6 months prior. He claimed to want more and got mad I wasn’t taking him seriously. I ended up allowing myself to view him more than a booty call and as soon as I started reciprocating the same “loving” energy back to him he pulled back but still kept me at reach. Hot and cold in and out. It was a mind fuck. He has attempted to come back a handful of times. Certain situations and specific conversations lead me to believe he did actually care about me but is incapable of communicating and loving correctly so those emotions don’t mean much. Avoid ants usually need something to help distract themselves from their emotions and that means throwing themselves into work, drugs, alcohol, sex/self pleasure. It is sad that having that attachment style typically stems from heavy rejection/neglect wounds from childhood but at the end of the day it is not our job to heal them at the expense of ourselves

[Inbox]

Sorry to hear about that, it was difficult for me at the time simply because I've never even heard of the attachment styles until I met her - I thought I had seen almost all of it at that point because I've dealt with immature, Narcissistic, attention whores, sluts, charming women, sociopathic, mentally challenged low IQ sorority girls, rich business girls, etc.

The only thing I hadn't really experienced were good girls at least until I met the love of my life recently (I fought for this girl HARD) - ironically, if it wasn't for that Avoidant, I never would have pushed myself to approach as hard and may have never met my Anna Banana :) Once I began to put all the pieces together, it all began to make sense. As it was with me, as it was probably with you, is that the drama and confusion of trying to figure out what is going was a very painful process.

At the end of the day, at least we now know how to identify them and avoid the avoidants LOL

[ProbablyClueless]

@Inbox Fair point...

[provokeesmokee]

I broke up with her.

I don't do either dismissive or avoidant.

I don't shy from hard conversations. I don't waste time with people who do.

[ProbablyClueless]

I did it for a little while. The dynamic got really old really quick.

It's not... that hard to not be a piece of shit when someone opens up to you about something. Especially if it's clearly an important thing for them.

Healthy people don't respond to little displays of emotion with jabs.

[BlackJeep]

Yup. We dated for over a year and then in a 48 hour period she broke up with me twice right out of the blue in the middle of our vacation while we were travelling together. We never argued until 3 days after she broke up with me and had always got along great.

[D_Bone_Steak]

Nah... women I fuck with know what they want and make it clear.

[Anonymous]

No. And hopefully I've grown enough to know to steer clear of a woman like that.

[Finchie40]

Good , cuz she is no longer in my life

[Alex8736]

By not chasing her and just replacing her

[RHK36]

I don't play games, so nope.

[shades777]

you dont lol, thats how

[EKhrmn]

No, I haven't

[MementoMori777]

wdym?

[Iron_Man]

No lol