Have you ever dated someone who has an avoidant style attachment? What was that like?

[pianogirlmeow]

I suspect my boyfriend may have it although i’m not sure. What are some red flags to look for and if you’re a man who has it what are some of the things you experience?

[provokeesmokee]

Yes.

They often will shut down when confronted with difficult topics. Some may outright lie or otherwise present excuses.

They'll say or do nearly anything to avoid you being mad them, which isn't good because they'll lie and harbour resentment and never tell you. My exbf once lied about being afraid of heights because he didn't want to seem "uncool" in front of me and his friend (both climbers). He is deathly afraid of heights and yet pushed himself to climb up 30' on an autobelay and got stuck up there out of fear. I had to climb up next to him and coach him down. He never told me he was afraid of heights and he put both of us at risk because of his fear and his lack of honesty.

They can't handle serious conversation and either avoid it, change the topic, or sometimes storm out or get emotional to force you to stop.

They may also show physical signs like refusing to be close or face you head-on. I had an exgf so afraid of intimacy she legit didn't want to touch me or hold hands in public (she was also a older, newer gay who grew up sheltered and religious, so she also had internalized homophobia).

in my opinion, they're not worth it.

[Anonymous]

I have never heard of that before.