How do I cope with being an absolute failure at life?

[Anonymous]

I am 28 years old, short, fat, unemployed, disabled, still live with my mom, and I never had a real girlfriend.

I seek the impossible when it comes to women. I seek a woman that has never had her first love and the same inexperience as me. I doubt I will find any woman remotely attractive like this, so I have pretty much given up on that. I have been trying to accept my fate of being single for life. It tears me apart though seeing cousins younger than me fixing to get married. Meanwhile, I am lonely and mainly hang out with my mom and her generation of family/peers. All my former childhood friends are married, most with kids. I have lost touch with everyone over the years. I haven't even kissed a woman in 8 years since I lost my virginity at age 20 during a hookup.

Now, about the job issue... I have held 20 something jobs in my life so far. I have never held a job more than a year. I lack a degree, so I am often passed by potential employers. Although, I am very talented in the web development/software engineering realm. Right now, I am on disability and broke.

I don't know how I am going cope living my life like this. Even if I improve some things, I still will always lack intimacy and sex.

[4ngelic]

fix your problems, even if its hard and takes time

short: if you're like 5'8 its not a big deal. if your that insecure wear shoes that have like thick or chunky so they make you taller. if you're really that insecure about your height especially if you're like 5'4 or something there's something called leg lenghthening surgery it's very popular in asia and it works. can make you like 10-15cm taller than you really are and more

fat: super easy. just go on a diet

unemployed: either find another job and try not to repeat the mistakes you made in your other jobs that go you fired or maybe go to uni for 4 years or to some kinda of official school/formation and get a degree from there, that will make your life easier and get you better jobs in the long run

still live with your mom: go find people that you can live with online if you dont mind having roomates, life in a hotel or in a cheap room rental place, or save up with new found job money to rend a flat and move out. there's way more solutions that that, there's many ways you can live alone

girlfriend: if you lose weight will help you so much with this aspect. i think you need to stop wanting a women that is totally inexperienced (i think why you want that is cos you're insecure about your lack of experience. the remedy to that is going out there and having casual fun and dating around, you'll feel a lot less bad about that stuff so you'll be less hung up about that) but if you really need have that you should probably look for really religious, conservative girls or girls from like south asia or stuff like that. getting a girlfriend isn't that hard, so go out there and try to get one, you'll find someone eventually

also why are you 'disabled'?

[Boomchakalaca]

U r so real for this. I recommend just trying to get out more like going to the parks and saying hi to people walking by. When ur in the house all day like myself, it can be depressing. Just try to get ur foot in the door when an opportunity comes by

[Billlewis]

Maybe instead of believing you're failure, you should concentrate on how you can make a woman happy and satisfied, and then work on finding a woman to have a relationship with from there.

[LiamJHayden]

"I doubt I will find any woman remotely attractive like this."

Honestly, try to find a beautiful soul. Outer beauty eventually fades, or can be altered/lost by injury or disease.

[Anonymous]

Sign up for a free account and you can read this book for free. You "borrow" it for an hour at a time, like a library.

https://archive.org/details/isbn_9781401922948

[Fanfare690]

Therapy

[Asker]

I need intensive therapy, but I cannot afford it. Most intensive outpatient programs will not accept my Medicare insurance.

[Fanfare690]

Do you have MA? you are disabled... so MA (medical assistance) will cover that. And intensive therapy... just ask for two sessions a week or once per week.

[Asker]

This service is provided in the United States (particularly Tennessee)?

[Fanfare690]

Not sure. Find out