How to handle relationship with step children and child's father?

[Anonymous]

I'm a step dad to my partners 2 children. Their dad is heavily involved. Recently my girlfriend has been meeting up with her ex and kids for summer fairs and things. The kids told me, she didn't. She claims she hates her ex and he has another girlfriend. I work a lot so couldn't go with her. She also sent the kids school report to her ex but not me. I feed them, take them out, help with homework etc... I think it's great that the dad is involved but I'm starring to feel very left out. I'm jealous of her and her ex playing happy family's.

I'm guessing this is normal?

[Avicenna]

It is completely normal when the biological father is involved in the kids' lives. You're not their father, he is. Why shouldn't he be treated as their father.

Being a stepparent is a thankless job.

[Asker]

I understand that. I don't want to take anything away from that. I don't expect to be treated as the father. I do expect to be kept in the loop with such things as school reports though. And yes it is a thankless task... but worth it most of the time

[Avicenna]

That's completely reasonable but be sure to communicate that to your girlfriend.