Am I stupid for still not being over her?

[Anonymous]

I was seeing one girl I really liked. Things were looking well. She had a crush on me for a long time. We kissed few times and went out. Then out of nowhere she rejected me. It really hurt me. I had one realtionship before this like four years ago. It lasted like two months and i was over it after like month or two. But now it is almost a year and i still can't get over it. And we werent even together. Sometimes i feel like i am close to be over it and just dont think about it. But sometimes it feels like fresh. It just feels like i will never get over it.

[Oliverlogan263]

Here are my thoughts on your situation:

1. It's natural and normal to need time to get over a rejection, especially when you genuinely liked the person. There's no set timeline for healing.

2. Your previous relationship that lasted only 2 months may have been easier to get over because the feelings weren't as deep. This time, you caught stronger feelings for this girl, so it makes sense that it would be harder to move on.

3. The fact that things were going well and then she suddenly rejected you likely blindsided you and made the rejection more painful. You didn't have closure to help you process and heal.

4. Rejection can trigger deep wounds from past experiences of abandonment, rejection or not feeling good enough. It may go beyond just this one girl.

5. You're probably ruminating on what went wrong, replaying scenarios in your mind, and longing for a different outcome. This cycle is keeping the hurt fresh. You need to consciously break this pattern.

6. Therapy could be helpful in identifying the deeper issues at play that are keeping you stuck, like negative thinking patterns or self-esteem wounds. A professional can give you healthy tools to move on.

7. With time and continuous effort, it does get easier. But you have to actively work on shifting your thoughts, distracting yourself from rumination, and focusing on self-care, hobbies, social life etc.

So no, you're not stupid for still struggling to move on. But I do encourage you seek out support, whether that's therapy, talking to loved ones, journaling your thoughts, focusing on yourself, etc. You have the power to heal from this, it just takes conscious effort, self-compassion and time. I wish you all the best going forward.

[Fireguy17]

It can take a while.
it is like grieving over someone who has passed, in this case she has gone out of your life.
Everyone does it differently, so it will pass in time.
Some get drunk and go to a strip club, so I've heard.

[kylee2437]

I have someone like this that I truly like too and it’s hard to get over, but you have to understand you deserve someone that sees that value in you enough to date you.

[LiamJHayden]

Not stupid, but you should get back out there and date some other women.