Do you think it’s okay to cheat on an abusive partner?

[gothbxtch]

i do, to be honest. cheating is awful, but in the case of an abuse victim unable to safely leave their abuser, i don’t think it’s bad. thankfully, this isn’t relevant to me or anybody i know, but i just thought it was an interesting hypothetical question.

[Lynx122]

To me that's a weird question. If you're in an abusive relationship the only thing on your mind should be getting tf out. If you cheat on your partner just to make things more bearable or get revenge or whatever you're almost just making yourself at home in this situation which is close to giving up. Also it can just make the abuse a lot worse if the abusive person finds out you cheated on them. There's just so many things wrong with the premise of this question.

I would make sure to never get into this situation or do everything possible to get out and be free and set boundaries etc. And cheating would never be on my mind at all. When I'm dealing with a lot of shit sex and romance are not at the front of my mind. It's for when I have things under control and I'm feeling good about my life and I know I can deal with extra issues that can arise in a relationship.

So if I was stressed out and miserable I wouldn't be thinking "who can I fuck to make myself feel better?" but "where can I stay that isn't here?"

[SnowedIn]

I love your thinking here.

At first glance, I say no. I think if we assume cheating is wrong then I think we can't make it okay by exception.

Abuse sucks in any form or any quantity so I'm not excusing that.

I guess I'd say, if the partner being abused wanted the sex or the relationship, then end the first one.

(I'm assuming this hypothetical is not a married relationship. My jury is still out on that one.)

[gothbxtch]

thank you! i was just thinking and i thought it was sort of an interesting question

[SnowedIn]

It's an extraordinarily interesting question. And it has real world application.

[gothbxtch]

thank you!!

[SnowedIn]

Thank you for MHO!

[sheikalana]

How would that change the relationship? If you're doing it for revenge you'll just upset him even more and that's possibly going to lead to abusive behavior. That's dumb. I also don't understand how someone with 17yo can't "safely leave their abuser" don't you have parents, family, friends that can protect you? This guy needs to be reported to the authorities too.

[WhitneySnow]

I never thought about this before but now that I do I agree with you

[gothbxtch]

awesome!

[WhitneySnow]

Thanks for MHO!

[godfatherfan]

No, it is not ok. If you have an issue with a partner... leave them.

I have a rule I won't date any woman that is married or even separated. I don't care if you have been separated 10 years, if you are legally still married, no thank you.

I have never cheated in my life. Even when I was in tech school in the military, where everyone was getting laid, I never cheated.

Even separated, she is still married. I would never want to be with a cheater. If they are cheating on someone with me, then they will have no problem cheating on me.

[lilBigPotato]

I don't think that there's a scenario where I would think that cheating is ok. If he's an asshole then leave him instead of starting being an asshole yourself.

And I can't see how you would not be able to leave the abuser safely but you can cheat without risk. If you're in an abusive relationship and can't get out you need professional help and not another dick

[TonyMetal___86]

Wise answer!

[BCA6010]

This is a bizarre premise - how is someone in a situation where they can't "safely leave their abuser" but they're able to cheat on them? What exactly do you think that even accomplishes, anyway?

The answer is no. There is never a justifiable reason to cheat.

[TonyMetal___86]

Nope it's not, you hate him because he is an abuser, if you're going to cheat on him, than you're going to be worst than him, also cheating is a sin...
You can just leave him or divorce if he ain't going to change than start a new life with someone who deserves you, cheating ain't the answer, you're just doing a big mistake and if he finds out and has a criminal mind, he will kill you for sure in a terrible way...
That's my hypotehical answer for your hypothetical question 🙂

[normalice]

Abuse is cheating as the abuser is giving their best self to other people.

[Miah05]

No, just break up with them and find someone better.

Why do something that makes you a bad person, just because your dating a bad person.

[serious]

No, It is never okay no matter what the situation. If the situation in a relationship is so bad then the person (victim) should have the courage to break up and move on.

[dreamstar72]

No do not cheat because it your life/harm that would be at risk. Abusive husband just think what would happen if he found out you cheated, also he of course would placed the blame on you for his stupid decisions.

[dreamstar72]

Husband was meant to be partners also

[Spongebobssocks]

No. Cheating should be punnished by death. Two wrongs doesn't make a right. If someone is abusive the responce shouldn't be to abuse them back but to anything you can to leave

[TonyMetal___86]

Good answer! 🙂

[Spongebobssocks]

@TonyMetal___86 Thank you 🙂

[TonyMetal___86]

You're welcome 🙂

[Spongebobssocks]

@TonyMetal___86 👍🏻

[exitseven]

It is sort of a slippery slope after that. Is it okay to cheat if your wife yells at you all the time, ? Is it okay if you are not getting sex anymore?

[PBandJ_Nerd]

Only thing I can think of is if the abuser finds out about the cheating it's not going to be good.

[richardcory]

Someone in a abusive relationship needs to try to leave. Cheating just risks much worse abuse.

[JesseP1nk]

If its not safe to leave then you think its safe to cheat? Interesting... To me it seems just wanting to cheat and bringing "abusive partner" as excuse to do it.

If someone is abused it is always better to leave them.

[RealMarek]

I don’t think so. It potentially puts the other man/woman at risk and reduces the motivation the abused person needs to make his/her escape.

[ohsheeT]

It would just be 10 times smarter just to walk away

[BoopBoopBeep]

No, because if they were abusive before it ain't gettin' any better after they find out.

[LiamJHayden]

I am not sure I would consider that as cheating. The "relationship" is only continued under duress, and to me that invalidates the agreement.

[teamvic]

I think its a good way to get yah ass beat more or even killed by said abusive partner

[TomMarks]

No don’t cheat, get out of the relationship if they are abusing you.

[balyai]

It's not okay. It's better to break up and have sex. At least you won't get the title of a "cheater".

[inhua]

"abusive" is subjective

by what metric is a partner "abusive"? when they refuse to let you disrespect them?

[gothbxtch]

when your partner physically harms you, emotionally harms you by insulting you, is controlling, etc etc.

[inhua]

do you mean like emasculated husbands who can't file for divorce from their abusive wives without losing half his assets and finances and can't make a police report because cops will assume his guilt while she spreads lies about him on social media? yeah no, even then cheating isn't ok

[Anonymous]

No. Cheating is never OK. And is never justfiable... ever... period!

[DerekC321]

I don't disagree, but I don't understand why anyone would stay with an abusive partner so this question would even come up.

[gothbxtch]

leaving an abusive partner can be dangerous

[DerekC321]

Yeah, that's true. But staying with them can be too. I'm no one to talk when it comes to making hard choices, but staying with someone like that... I don't see any happiness down the road.

[dreamstar72]

@gothbxtch I think cheating might be worst. To bad there wasn’t an “abuse ball buster” organization. ABBO 1-ballbuster

[Static_In_The_Attic]

Cheating is still cheating.

[Agape93]

Yeap but it's a really bad idea

[Throwawaynowknow]

Why can't you leave?

[Lokiion]

Why cheat why not break up and leave

[Grovermint]

IT IS NEVER RIGHT TO CHEAT.

[jahaims]

Why wouldn't you just break up and leave lmfao.

[sirderpsalot123]

It wouldn't be a smart thing to do

[Z1pTD]

Just leave them

[Rohaan2020]

Better leave them rather than cheating

[DaBiggestBird]

No. 🕊️

[Anonymous]

Cheating is sexy...