Is it okay if my boyfriend says that I need to be more intelligent to understand him?

[Anonymous]

We've been together for 2 years. Before entering into the relationship he was quite expressive , gave me compliments, made me believe that he is so into me.

But just after we entered the relationship he turned emotionally unavailable or distant from me. He never expressed himself in our relationship and said he is unexpressive but in the beginning he was expressive. Like was that all fake? I asked him " been together for so long I'm still not able to understand you what might be the reason to it?" And he replied " you need to be more intelligent".

I find him belittling me many times like saying me psycho ( out of anger) , how can you be so dumb? , Are you an ice aged woman? , etc.. I feel so inferior in front of him. I never felt that warmth of love from him becoz he would say many hurtful things to me and never say sorry for them, he never cherished or adored me in anyway. He has invalidated my emotions many times (saying I'm so weak and sensitive ).

I feel so jealous of other happy couples. But he never understands what am I going through. Am I in the wrong for feeling all these things?

Updates

+1 y

Thanks guys for helping me

Updates

+1 y

Really appreciate all of your suggestions

[intovertedguy]

He is a narcissist and he is trying to destroy your self esteem so he can control you and your life. He never loved you. You should leave him.

8 Ways Narcissists Seek to Manipulate and Dehumanize You

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/narcissism-demystified/202109/8-ways-narcissists-seek-manipulate-and-dehumanize-you

10 Signs That You're in a Relationship With a Narcissist

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/communication-success/201409/10-signs-youre-in-relationship-narcissist

How to Recognize the Signs of Narcissistic Abuse

https://www.verywellhealth.com/narcissistic-abuse-5220194

[Asker]

Really appreciate thank you 😌

[intovertedguy]

You're welcome, glad I could help.

[Lliam]

Sounds like narcissistic personality disorder.
Why are you still with him?
Tell him that you're smart enough to know that he's a toxic dick head and never have contact with him again. Let him stick that in his pipe and smoke it.

[intovertedguy]

I agree with you.

[Nxtawm]

Sooo you’re not happy in the relationship, why are you still in the relationship again? He clearly doesn’t respect you or you relationship. Currently all that relationship is giving you is pain and is draining you.

[LazerBean]

He's just an emotional boy with a misplaced sense of intelligence. Time to dump.

[FireFox001]

No, it is not okay, even if it is true at some times (and in those cases, a loving person would take their time to explain things).

I suggest you pack your stuff up, and leave this one. As many others have explained, this is narcissist behaviour AND gaslighting. Toxic AF.

[Anonymous]

No, that's an insult.