My boyfriend thinks I am not smart and lacks common sense?

[Anonymous]

I know I'm not the brightest person by any means. And when we get into an argument about something I've done I do tend to see his point on why he thinks I lack common sense sometimes. We both have only high school degrees, but he is still an intelligent person and he was also pretty much forced to raise himself because his mom was extremely depressed when he was growing up. One big thing is he's 38 and I'm 22. I know it's a big shocker when you do the math but we've been together for over a year, our families and friends are very accepting, and we have great chemistry and are so comfortable with one another. He wants to make this work and he's a great man who admits his faults when needed as well, but after finding out he feels this way my confidence in my relationship went down and now I'm feeling like he deserves someone "better". I know I'm not going to warp into this bright person over night, how should I handle this situation?

Updates

+1 y

For example, the other day I was going to the movies with a close friend and this guy she's been dating for a while, and this guy was bringing his bestfriend along. (Both were made aware that I'm in a relationship and my boyfriend was ok with this as well.)

Updates

+1 y

Well my friend came over my house to get ready and before we left she pulls out a drug. I've never done anything besides marijuana so I got curious to try it. I asked a couple important questions before trying it and I trusted my friend enough to know she wouldn't give me anything that would make me lose my mind. So after we did that we met up with them and went to the movie. I told my boyfriend what we did thinking he'd be chill about it since he's had his history with expire ting and he wasnt!

[Minxxie]

My advice is that he's an asshole and he likes to ake you feel stupid to make himself feel better - classic insecure bully and part of the reason he wanted a younger girl. Dump his ass and go to college or university and make him feel bad because he's 38 and hasn't done that much with his life yet! You are not stupid or lacking in common sense you are acting like a normal 22 year old and guess what? Your brain isn't even fully developed until 25 so he's being an ass and he knows it. He sounds so sad and like such a bully / loser please dump him!

[pr3ttybr0wn]

I would never date a guy who disrespected me by calling me dumb and saying i have no common sense. If he wants to make it work then he needs to be more considerate and respectful. Dont let this guy bash your self esteem. He's a fucking 38 year old who has no higher education and he's calling YOU

[Sara413]

I'd be wary of a man that much older who knowingly makes you feel stupid/inferior...

[Asker]

I have since seriously spoken to him about him making me feel this way. He felt very bad and apologized. He's the kind of guy that doesn't beat around the bush and he's now aware that his words can be very harsh. He told me he is gonna start working on that because he knows how much it hurts me. But I still don't know how to recover from it..

[RealGhostly702]

He's been alive 16 years longer than you.
That doesn't necessarily mean he is either more mentally or emotionally intelligent than you. Though it's likely he has much more life-experience than you.

He's also likely to have seen much more of this world than you have, so it's only natural he would employ these experiences to guide you away from potentially harmful situations.

Expect more of this in the future, assuming you guys stay together. Your just too young for him not to be tempted into a "parental" role.

[heavensgift2girls]

He is older than you, so this is to be expected. The idea that you think that you "asked a couple important questions before trying it" still sounds stupid to anyone with any life experience at all. You shouldn't have expected him to be chill about something like you trying drugs.

While he should try not to make you feel stupid, you also need to understand how frustrating it is to watch the person you love make such ignorant choices. I think this is something you both need to work on.

[selmo93]

You just need to accept it really. So what he thinks your not smart. He's not perfect. And if he didn't want to be with you he wouldn't be

[Anonymous]

You will get smarter as you get older and wiser with life experience so I wouldn't let it bother you since when he was your age I'm sure he wasn't any smarter or with more common sense than you now so don't worry about it

[idiotmanchild]

Frankly, this going to happen because of the very real generational gap between the two of you...

[Bassman1910]

fuck him (not like sex,.. the other kind of fuck)
move on