Why Does My Boyfriend Invalidate My Intelligence?

[Anonymous]

Recently, my boyfriend and I were playing a game with his friends where we have to identify changes. They have played the game without me and both friends mentioned me being good at it and needing me to win the game. He gets a little upset by this and even brought it up to me that they said they suck when they play without me but that he feels like when I’m there, he finds most of the stuff. Which he does find some issues but I feel like he can’t handle the idea of me being good at solving issues. He’s done this on other occasions when we play trivia where if I solve something, he’ll say I didn’t. Or he’ll say I only got one right and ignore my contributions but accept his friend’s contributions even if I came up with the answer first. Why?

[_Maya_]

He sounds immature and jealous at you being intelligent and possibly even threatened by it. That is someone who is very insecure. Have you talked to him about this at all and ask him why he feels that way? I would because it isn't going to fix itself. Then what is next? What else are you better at? Sounds to me like he is always going to be a guy that needs to one up you to show he is superior rather than just accept the fact that everyone has strengths and weaknesses. However I also don't get the vibe that he is that type of person that is going to look at this stuff objectively. He views things as a competition and if he isn't superior than he gets in these moods like what you are describing

[SueShe]

His behavior is the typical one of a person that is a sore loser and that is probably even less intelligent or does not have the best abilities to solve complex problems involving thinking on different levels.

It looks as if your boyfriend does not support and appreciate that a woman is capable of doing something that he cannot. It is a sexist and misogynistic behavior by a person that has never been able to accept the fact that women are equal or superior to men on a number of topics.

Invalidating your intelligence is the only non physical violent way for him to put you down.

[ManOnFire]

Gotta be a classic case of jealousy. He probably feels like you're smarter of him, which is not your problem of course. Any time a guy puts down an intelligent girl he really just reveals how much it bothers him and makes him think he's not that smart.

[moneymagnet24]

Lol he is so fuckin insecure with your intelligence... wtf are you doing with this kind of guy?

[beefcakebradybatson]

He has trouble relating to a brainy woman, so he's a boy brat.

[slatyb]

Better question -- why are you with him?