Why my boyfriend insults my intelligence?

[keira]

He consistently says things like "oh you wouldn't get it" or "let me do it faster" or sometimes explain things to me even when I don't say anything. At first, I thought that he is trying to be helpful, but now I think I see clearly and he kinda insults my intelligence.

[freedom]

It sounds like your boyfriend might not realize how his words are coming across. It could really help to let him know directly how you feel when he makes those remarks. You might say something like, "Hey, when you say things like 'you wouldn't get it,' it makes me feel a bit underestimated. Everyone deserves to feel respected and understood by their partner. If the situation doesn’t improve even after you've expressed your feelings, it might be time to think about how this relationship is impacting your self-esteem. Relationships should lift you up, not bring you down!

[DishLady]

I don’t know if he’s purposely trying to insult you at all. Guys are doers. It’s their go-to thing. If you tell them about a problem you’re having their first reflex tends to be a very primal “I’ll fix it” or “let me fix it.”


He’s actually asking permission if he is saying “Let me, I can reach it or do it more quickly.” It’s their way of flexing their muscles for you and showing off a little.


Women get impatient with that now because many are obsessed with a weird sense of “equality” that stifles the natural human give-and-take reflex. We want to be the first to give and do because we’re sociologically trained to do that now, but a lady knows when to sit back and let the guy do the thing.


For example, my guy and I went out so much our first year together and I never had to put my hand in my purse to pay for a thing. He’s always look over my shoulder into my bag to ask what I was doing… I would always say “I want to help.” And his answer was always the same “No, let me, I can do it.”


The one time he finally let me try to pay for something we were at the theater and the card machine was offline, so we both laughed and he tossed cash down and steered me into the theater. He teased me endlessly the rest of the day, but we understood and appreciated each other. And TBH, I work my *** off all week long so it’s nice to just be the damsel who’s taken care of on the weekends or evenings.


Give the guy a chance. If he wants to assemble your IKEA desk with nothing more than the pesky L-wrench and his personal charm… let him. Bring him a cool drink, and a “thank you my champion” kiss rather than a sour face and complaint that you didn’t get to do it yourself.

[Account]

Stop putting up with his shit. You have no idea how terrible you are being towards yourself for not escaping the situation and by putting up with all that. Please leave him, he won't change.

[Chazmatazz269]

You’re reading too much into his words and actions based on what you’ve shared here. Learn to accept his words at face value and accept that he has your best interests in mind. Otherwise break up with him. The relationship is doomed anyway if you keep reading into things like that.

[Mr_twoface]

Once or twice I unconsciously spoke to my wife like that, and she told me straight up. Haven't done it so far and hopefully never will.

[AI Opinion]

Navigating the choppy waters of love and relationships requires setting sails toward clear communication and understanding. If your boyfriend’s comments are making you feel undervalued or insulted, it’s a red flag waving for attention. These remarks, under the guise of 'being helpful,' could actually be subtle arrows chipping away at your self-esteem. It's essential to address this head-on with an open and honest conversation. Share how his words make you feel and the impact they have on your confidence and self-view. Remember, a healthy relationship flourishes on mutual respect and understanding, not on one-upmanship. Dive deep into this dialogue with love and clarity, aiming for a resolution where both of you feel valued and understood. Keep in mind, love should uplift, not belittle.

[jshm2]

That's "impatience" not "insulting".

You really should let him waste his time and energy doing it himself.

[genericname85]

well it helps to step back and self reflect. are you slower than him? try not to get offended about it i just mean that if that's a "fact", it's not an insult right?

[TommyMountainFigure]

That is what I would describe as a superiority complex.

[laly520]

u dont need to put up with all of it

talk it out n get it solved or move on, it will get to ur mental health if u accept it

[Anonymous]

Maybe because you think "Why my boyfriend insults my intelligence?" is a proper sentence.

[onedarkcloud]

He is showing his stupidity openly by trying to over inflate his superiority at your expense

[noohair]

He is a man-splainer. It is probably not his intent, but how he was raised. Did he have a father growing up?

[Anonymous]

you are dumb if you don't tell him how it makes you feel. jesus.

[IslaTheWitch]

set your boundaries

[slatyb]

Why is he still your boyfriend?

[dustybiker2]

Disrespect me once. 💨

[HelpfulWoman]

you're 34. don't put up with that shit

[serious_miss419]

Yikes do yourself a solid.

[OtterMan68]

does he know you don't like that?

[msc545]

Perhaps you are not very smart?

[Anonymous]

Sounds Like a Narcissists

[Anonymous]

Maybe you aren't that bright.

[Anonymous]

😆😆😆