Should I be worried my boyfriend doesn't ask me to hang out or buy me flowers?

[aRENEEanonm]

My boyfriend (22) and I (18) have been together for a little over a month now, and it's going pretty well, he tells me he is ready to settle down which is a huge reassurance to me as he is not dating me just to date but to settle down. We know each other through mutual friends you can say, I met him through my older sister's fiancé. Everything for the most part has been going pretty smoothly we have a few arguments here and there that do kind of concern me for the reason being we are so fresh into our relationship I feel that we should be in our honeymoon phase and shouldn't find anything yet to somewhat argue about. On the other hand, I'm getting worried that maybe my boyfriend doesn't like me romantically. He has never once shown me a romantic gesture like buying me flowers or take me out to dinner. I am always initiating us seeing each other, he used to always ask me to hang out and now it feels like I am the only one that makes plans for us to hang out, I have brought this to his attention and every time I bring it up he sort of will shut me down and tell him that, that isn't true an that he's trying his hardest. So, with him saying that I try to brush it off, I even tried for an entire week of me not asking him to hang out, and not a single I miss you, or I wanna see you. We didn't see each other that week. When we are together it's like we are on top of the world and he acts like he really likes me, but it feels like he might not have as much interest in me as he used too. I try my best to give him his personal time with himself and his friends but to a certain extent I wish he'd make plans with me the way he does with his friends. ANY GUYS WITH ADVICE PLS ANSWER ME BACK !!!

XO Anonymous

Yes Girl TF

No you're overthinking

give it some time

[Oliverlogan263]

Okay, yeah I get why you'd be a little worried about all that. A few thoughts:

- Only being together a month is still pretty new. Sometimes it takes guys a bit longer to fully open up and start doing romantic gestures. So try not to stress too much yet.

- Arguing a lot already is kinda a red flag though. In the beginning everything should be pretty smooth. Maybe see if there's stuff you can work on together to communicate better.

- Him not asking you to hang anymore and you having to always plan stuff would bother me too if I was in your shoes. You should talk to him again and say how it's making you feel less wanted or something.

- If he keeps brushing it off and nothing changes, then I'd start to question how into you he really is. Actions speak louder than words and all.

My advice would be give it a little more time, but keep an eye on things. If he's not putting in any more effort soon or working on the arguing, then you gotta decide if you wanna deal with that or find someone who treats you better, ya know? Communication is key too so don't be afraid to tell him what you need from the relationship. Hope it works out!

[aRENEEanonm]

Thank you so much!

[Oliverlogan263]

Of course girl, that's what we're here for! Dating can be so stressful. I'm sure if you keep the communication open and give him a chance to step up now that he knows what you need, things will work out just fine.

Try not to let little worries get you down - you've got so much awesome stuff going for you! Stay focused on enjoying your time together and all the things you really like about this dude. I bet once you have that honest chat, he'll really step up the romance too.

You deserve to be with someone who makes you feel 100% good all the time. But new relationships take adjusting, and it seems like he cares about you a lot. So have faith, stand up for yourself when needed, but also give people space to do better. You've got this - keep being your awesome self! Let me know how the chat goes, I'm rootin' for ya :)

[ZamerZ]

Honestly, you need to chill. Everyone has their own language and perhaps, romantic gestures and buying gifts isn't his. I can tell you from experience that I myself am not a romantic person. I don't use words of affirmation and big gestures like my boyfriend does and I also don't miss him when he's not around bc I am very rationally wired - like, why would I miss him if he's only 1,5 hours away from me and I see him twice per week? Works for me.

So, maybe your boyfriend's love language doesn't entail what you are hoping for. Sometimes our love languages don't mesh well and it leads to conflicts. Communication is always the most important thing, so sit him down and talk about it - but please don't call him out on not spending money on you, that's just petty and shallow af. You're obviously concerned he doesn't like you the same as in the beginning, so make that the focus of the talk.

Besides, it's only been a month. The rose-tinted glasses could've come off already; for some couples it takes months until it really fades. It always does eventually, so maybe he's just reached that point quicker than you do. But that doesn't mean that he likes you any less. It just means that he's able to treat your relationship a bit more rationally and realistically without being battered by hormones. Just talk to him.

[HelpfulWoman]

its been a fucking month. chill.
also talk to HIM.

[DarkLegacy]

Well some women don't like gifts such as flowers, chocolates etc, but yes if he isn't putting the effort in then there is a problem. Have you tried asking him about this.

[aRENEEanonm]

No, I have not really addressed the flowers specifically, mostly because I would rather him to WANT to give me them and that he thinks of me on his own time , then me having to tell him and nag to him about it. I know one time he was going to get me flowers and I can tell he forgot, I didn't bring it up because it was supposed to be a "surprise". It kind hurts thats he "forgot" though. I feel like I'm putting more effort than he is. I clean his room, do his laundry, fold and put it away. and I dont even get a thank you sometimes.

[Artificial Intelligence]

Aiming to sprinkle a little love wisdom here! 🌟 It seems like you're caught in a bit of a romance whirlwind, aren't you? Now, love, one month in and already feeling like he's not putting in the effort can be a little concerning, but let's not jump the ship yet! Communication, as you probably know, is the golden key in relationships. But, it's also about how we communicate. Telling him you'd love to be surprised with flowers or a dinner date could ignite that spark in him. Remember, not all guys have the same love playbook, and some need a little nudge in the right direction.

However, if conversations have been had and actions remain unchanged, it might be a red flag 🚩. Love is a two-way street, filled with giving and taking, my dear. If you're the only one driving down that road, it might be worth reconsidering whether this journey is worth continuing. Love should lift you up, not leave you guessing. So, put on those fabulous shoes of confidence and open the dialogue one more time. If it still feels like a solo trip, it might be time to explore new horizons. Sending you all the love and clarity! 💖✨

[Anonymous]

It’s a red flag. How can u expect a man to provide and settle when he couldn’t but u a bunch of flowers. He’s using u , for various reasons

[NetherlandsNar]

No you are overthinking