Should I be worried about his actions?

[Anonymous]

So my boyfriend and I been together for two years. I have a hard time trusting men I’m in a relationship with even though my current boyfriend hasn’t given me any reason to believe him or not trust him. Anyways if I want to see his phone, he will let me. He will get irritated by it but he will let me. I don’t always ask for it but when he’s on it I’ll look over at it or what not. Recently his screen protector broke and he got a new one that’s dark so I can’t see from a certain angle. I asked why he got that and he said his co-workers peek at his phone and one of them had one so he got one too. I asked if it was because I peek also and he said it doesn’t matter for me because I look regardless so no worries. He said if anything I can just lean my head on his shoulder to look. Should I be concerned about his new purchase? He let me look through it still. Also his friend who’s a girl texted him to check in at 11 pm at night 🙄 he kept the messages and it was innocent since he just got surgery two months ago and she asked if we were still dating and he said yes 2 years and that was it. I don’t know if I should also be worried about that. He kept it short only checking in and that’s it. She always hits him up from time to time to “check in” and he won’t hide it. What do you guys think?

[HollyK21]

You either trust him or you don’t — that’s really all it comes down to. If you have trust issues then you should address and work on them rather than be this way to him. It’s not fair to make him pay for how other men betrayed your trust in the past. You should get a handle on this behavior because if you dont stop with the unreasonable suspicions, questions etc then you will lose him by being overbearing. Like you probably don’t even realize how frustrated he is bc he constantly has to prove himself to you, even after all this time. The man can’t even be on his phone without you on his shoulder prying and wondering if he will cheat. It’s just a lot of insecurity on your end and you shouldn’t want to treat him that way. This is why I say to address your trauma, and work on healing so you can move past it and stop treating your boyfriend like he’s about to cheat.

[Asker]

What about the friend that hits him up time to time? I didn’t like how late it was

[HollyK21]

You said yourself that it was an innocent conversation, though. You’re doing more harm than good for yourself by tracking all that stuff because if a man wants to cheat then there’s nothing you can do to stop him. So why stress about something that’s not happening or if were you couldn’t do anything about it? I’d rather have peace of mind and trust that he will do the right thing.

[Asker]

Your right. Why leave there so I can see it when you can just delete it. Thank you for your help. I think him getting a screen privacy protector worried me the most

[HollyK21]

Even if there weren’t the screen protector, I think it would constantly be something that worries you because you have it fixed in your mind to be concerned, based on bad past experiences. Once you address that past trauma and work on your insecurities/trust issues, then you won’t have these concerns. I’m not saying to be oblivious and ignore like literal signs of him cheating; just don’t keep looking for problems all the time. Show him that you trust him, the way he trusts you. Also no worries girly, sending you healing energy❤️

[Asker]

Thank you! After settling down I realized that it was dumb to worry about that screen protector because I see his phone anyways and I know him and I know he loves me. Thank you for all your help

[MrOracle]

It sounds to me like there's nothing to worry about. If there was, he'd do everything he could to keep you from seeing his phone. The fact that he lets you look means he isn't worried about it - so either he's a sociopath, or he has done nothing wrong that he has to worry about you finding out about.

[Asker]

Even though he got a privacy screen protector that you can’t see from an angle?

[MrOracle]

He's still showing YOU his phone, so that's irrelevant.

[spartan55]

I think you have no reason not to trust him so stop with the phone surveillance. If he's gonna cheat he's gonna cheat. Acting like an insecure psycho is not how to keep a guy.

[Anonymous]

Just have trust in him and all yours problem will be shorted out