What's the reason a cheater confesses?

Question

Last year, my friend told me her boyfriend came forward the following day and admitted to having a drunken ONS.

She still dumped him. It didn't change the outcome but she was still glad to have been told and not waste More time. He understood, told her she deserves a better guy, didn't right to win her back and left her alone.

On those rare times the cheater confesses, what's the reason for this?

Rosexøxø · Accepted Answer

I would say

possibilities are:

- they want to try and fix the relationship and their cheating was a poor decision in response to lack of communication or affection or a met need (s) from their partner.

- It’s cause they don’t want to be in the relationship anymore, but the other partner is a firm believer of not ending relationships, or that one, cause then they could say later in some argument: “you ended the relationship. not me. You gave up on us.” Or “that’s what you wanted.” And so the other partner may use cheating as a way to break out of some guilt trip. Maybe not like this- maybe the other partner is more, I would say, attached and instead of breaking their heart with a speech and let down, they will just say they messed up cause that’s “easier.”

There’d still be a chance the partner forgives them, even after cheating, for toxic reasons. Attachment or manipulation.

————————————————————

I will just say this.

Some cheaters cheat defensively as a way out of an unloving relationship
Some cheaters cheat as their own response logical or not or felt-right-in-the-moment- to their partner’s lack of compatibility or care for them.
Some cheat cause they lack morals and it’s their free will, BUT they don’t want their partner or society shaming them. They want to be painted as ‘good,’ so they will lie until they can live a double lifestyle, or they get caught and the relationship ends.
Some cheat out of their own desire, until they realize they can’t make intimate relationships work and instead, relationships with less responsibilities and intimacy placed on them, is more for them- perhaps for that stage of their life, or more long-term.

It really could have multiple reasons as to why they did it. Usually the bottom line is they don’t care for their partner, don’t care anymore about the relationship, or don’t care about the love and relationship ideals.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

I think cheaters sometimes confess because they:
1. Genuinely feel bad that they are hurting the one they claim to love and can't live with the guilt or the lies
2. See this as a means to end a relationship they no longer wanted to be a part of anymore anyway
3. Know they are about to get caught or someone is ready to out them, so they get there first
4. As above, get drunk intentionally or not, and let it all out
5. They're in such a toxic relationship that they know they can confess and their partner will still stay no matter what, so they don't see it as hard to even do anymore.

Finchie40 · Accepted Answer

Some cheaters hate living with the guilt , that they betrayed someone that actually cared about them and loved them , they hold in that secret , because they are afraid of the possible consequences of their selfish actions , because they already know cheating was wrong to do in the first place But they did it anyways. Cheating is a selfish decision it isn’t a mistake , it’s a choice. I cheated on a girl when I was younger , and I could have gotten away with it , because she had no clue that I cheated on her , but I honestly felt like such an asshole for cheating on her in the first place so I immediately confessed to her the truth of what I did , and told her the same thing your friends’ boyfriend said. You deserve better than me , because I am a selfish piece of shit asshole for betraying you that way. I’m sorry I fucked up , but one thing lead to another and I ended up in bed with another girl. Shockingly she forgave me and wanted to stay with me and work things out , but I told her No , because she deserves better than me. From that day forward , I never cheated on a girl again , I could never look at girl on the face and tell her I love her knowing I betrayed her , people that can do that to their partners’ are the biggest pieces of shit on this planet.

coachTanthony · Accepted Answer

They want to stop feeling guilty about it and have you unburden them of said guilt.

Love Doctor Brad · Accepted Answer

Diving deep into the ocean of love and betrayal, let's explore why sometimes, the dark cloud of cheating comes with a silver lining - honesty. When someone cheats and decides to confess, it often stems from a cocktail of guilt, love, and respect for their partner. They may realize the gravity of their mistake and feel that their partner deserves the truth, rather than living in a web of lies. It's like choosing to clean a wound rather than letting it fester; it's painful but necessary for healing. This act of coming clean, although it does not erase the betrayal, is a step towards recognizing their actions' impact. In your friend's case, her ex-partner's confession, though it ended their relationship, allowed her to move forward with her life, armed with the truth. It shows a glimpse of maturity and accountability, rare qualities that sometimes shine through even in the murkiest of situations.

1

OlderAndWiser · Answer

Some cheaters experience guilt. . . after they have cheated!

Pinay_ako · Answer

Guilt  end the relationship  They got caught

PointlessNonsenseGuy · Answer

Maybe he confessed because he genuinely felt bad about what he did, and he was trying to own up to his mistake.

There's a difference between a "cheater" who cheats one time out of weakness or bad judgment, and a "cheater" who cheats whenever there's an opportunity to cheat.

Somoneelse · Answer

Most likely due to guilt getting the better of them. In all honesty I respect the guy for telling her and leaving her alone instead of trying to convice her back or telling lies. Thats quite rare.

sheikalana · Answer

I believe there's an heaviness in keeping those things to themselves. He knows he did something wrong and feels terrible about it. Letting it out is a way for them to feel relieved.

PeachyPie93 · Answer

Could be: They want to hurt their partner Don't want to lie about it Feel bad and want to work it out/be forgiven

Twalli · Answer

Thry truly feel guilty, especially if they do it pretty much right after it happens. My sister and I have the same rules regarding cheating. His confession right after it happened would give him a strike, but not a breakup.

Account · Answer

-Guilt -Testing the waters -They wanted to end the relationship however they preferred their partner doing that for them.

DishLady · Answer

I presume it’s just guilt that prompted it. Who knows….

Nikki1989 · Answer

The guilt gets to them.

CriticalCatDad · Answer

Typically they confess because they’ve been caught.

NetherlandsNar · Answer

They want to feel better

jahaims · Answer

They want a reaction

What's the reason a cheater confesses?

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