Is it common for a former cheater to be more forgiving if they got cheated back?

[Anonymous]

Person A cheats on Person B.

B forgives A. Then several years later, B falls into temptation and cheats for different reason. A forgives more easier and quicker.

https://www.reddit.com/r/survivinginfidelity/comments/z1db6o/i_cheated_in_the_past_but_was_it_still_a_mistake/

The lady cheated first when she was 19 way back in 2002. He was her boyfriend at the time. They worked it out and we've been long married. He cheats this year and she's more forgiving than he was at the time. This is one of her replies:

My cheating was completely my fault. Nothing my boyfriend ever did nor even our argument was an excuse for what I did.

I always wished I could build a time machine and fix everything. How do you think I've been willing to work with a marriage counseling after my husband confessed his cheating? I owe him one after all. I know what it feels like to be him cheating and being contrite about it. When he took him back at the time, I did made a promise to myself that if he ever cheated, I would work it out too.

Updates

1 y

The woman is now 39 years old. When she was 19, she cheated with the guy's best friend. She feels she owe him one and so takes him back when he cheats 20 years later for different reasons.

[Guy13]

That's pretty complicated, however, if one is all-in they'll wait. Hold tight for like six months and see what happens. Some that are married are waiting a year-half later until she is absolutely sure they were abandon... grieving starts then.

[Anonymous]

Hell nah. I was minding my own damn business at the beach in my purple shorts like these.

When I saw the White boy my girl cheated with.

[Fireguy17]

I don't think so, if I am person B and someone, person A cheats on me I am gone.
That has happened twice to me, so I never went back.

[Asker]

Yes most people break up and that's actually the right and healthy thing to do. I was referring to when cheaters get taken back. Lets say they don't ever cheat again like in that woman's story. When the previously betrayed partner, later on cheats too... the original cheater would likely be more forgiving since they did the same thing.

[Fireguy17]

That would be a very happy household.
I don't think there would be much trust left.

[Asker]

Yeah. On that lady's post looks like they're both even now. I read the whole version.
In 2002, that woman was 19. She got caught falling alsleep with the guy's best friend. Even worse, she cheated on her then boyfriend's house, both were alseep on his own couch with the TV running on. Basically she would've likely continued cheating and only stopped when found out. Why he took her back and later on still marries her? I'll never know.
Then the lady's husband cheats on her 20 years later. His disrespect is stealing his wife's money to use it for his affair and give her homemade meals to his AP. Seems like they're both now equal in excessive amount of disrespect towards each other.

[Asker]

She took him back and forgave him too. She's working on the marriage. Oh well, lol. On one of the replies, she said it herself that she owe him one and so is forgiving him.

[OddBeMe]

I’ve read some blogs and stuff now this strategy could save marriages etc, not too sure. Loyalty is a huge part of it. And it’s gone forever.