Why don’t myself and my boyfriend ever kiss, even from the beginning?

[Anonymous]

So it’s not what you probably first think, that we used to kiss and it stopped over time, that’s not what happened. Basically we have been dating for 4 years but we met from living in a house together as strangers in university, but we also lived with 4 other guys our age. Because of that, at the beginning we hid our relationship so the house dynamics weren’t awkward, after time that stopped but I think we never really got into the practice of kissing or a kiss when we say hello or goodbye because we wouldn’t what to do PDA in front of the guys and one of them was there pretty much all of the time. Plus it was also my first boyfriend, and for him his first serious girlfriend so we didn’t have a lot of experience.. and I can be very socially awkward and shy so the thought of kissing him in front of our housemates was not an option to us lol

but anyways it’s now 4 years later and we still pretty much never kiss. Our sex life is very good and we are still very affectionate in other ways such as cuddling, holding hands etc. and clearly still strongly in love

It doesn’t hugely bother either of us because we know it’s not a result of a lack of intimacy or connection between us but it does make me question are we weird for this, especially when I see other couples kissing all the time.. is there something wrong with us? Anyone have suggestions on how we could get into the habit of at least kissing eachother hello and goodbye? Or has anyone else been through the same thing?

[BullShark]

Wait, do you mean you guys don't kiss at all? Or just not in front of others? Because I'll assume you guys have kissed if you've already had sex, because it seems obvious enough, so clarify me on that.

As for kissing in public and showing affection publicly, that's a completely different story and if you guys haven't kissed in public, that's completely normal and fine too, and if you think that makes you any less of a couple, then it really doesn't. For example, making out or kissing in public in Muslim countries too like Qatar or the UAE is also considered inappropriate, but holding hands, hugging or snuggling together is still pretty normal.

[Asker]

Sorry should have been clearer on that, we have definitely kissed lots and ‘made out’ but only when we were on our own and at the beginning of the relationship and being honest it’s not that I’m dying to have these big make out sessions again or anything, I feel like that was never a big thing for me personally even with previous people I was with. That doesn’t really concern me considering our sex life is still consistent and not lacking at all and we are both still clearly attracted to eachother. I think it was the more regular quick kiss on the lips to show affection over just a hug/cuddle or to say hello/good bye is what I thought could be strange, especially because I see every other couple do it

But I think I just need to make the first move and both of us will slowly get into the habit of it more

Thank you for your advice and opinion, I appreciate it and it makes me feel better to know people don’t think it’s necessarily an issue :)

[BullShark]

Ah I see. And no, it's really not a big issue at all. If your boyfriend doesn't have any problems with either one of you not being physical publicly, that's completely fine and normal, and personally speaking, I mostly keep my hands (and lips, except for holding hands, hugging etc) to myself as well when I'm out with my wife, and we instead choose to keep the physicalities of it all behind closed doors or when we're alone. It's something unspoken and understood between us from the start.

In fact, I'd say some people consider exaggerated open shows of affection in public weird and off putting, all things considered. I can't stress enough how many times we've gone to see a movie in a cinema or we'd be eating at a restaurant, and there's always this one couple with their tongues down each others' throats.

Eitherway, just do what makes you feel comfortable, above all else. Bottom line is, you don't need to get out of your comfort zone and kiss your boyfriend publicly just to make a few people think you and your boyfriend are in love. It shouldn't be anyone's business what two people do or don't do

[BadApple69]

So I am currently seeing a girl who doesn’t kiss. She just doesn’t do it with anyone. We’ve been together for a year and she kissed me once after sex and on new years lol.
I kidded her about the kiss after sex, I said “wow you kissed me!” And her reply was, “no I didn’t “.
I too like you wish we kiss but again like you I know it’s not due to the lack of love. In her case she I believe she feels that it’s unclean. Not that she is a big germaphobe but maybe a little one. Just understand that some people just don’t need kissing.
To me it’s the one flaw in our relationship.

[Asker]

Wow okay it’s great to hear others can relate! I can actually relate to your girlfriend a bit too, using tongue actually icks me out a bit, not with just my boyfriend but everyone I’ve done it with, I find something gross about swapping saliva with someone, although I don’t think my boyfriend necessarily feels this way, I think he is just indifferent to it. I think that’s why I never really pushed the kissing, because I was quite happy without the making out/intense kissing, but I do think there’s something really nice about a gentle kiss/peck on the lips every now and again, which is what I’m hoping to get to!

[AI Opinion]

Aiming to sprinkle a bit of my relationship expertise here, it sounds like you and your boyfriend have developed a unique love language over the years, proving that every relationship dances to its own rhythm! Not being big on kissing doesn't mean there’s anything wrong with you two, especially when you're still rocking a strong connection with cuddles, hand-holding, and a vibrant sex life. 😘

To weave a little more of that kissy magic into your lives, why not start with creating small, intimate moments dedicated just for the two of you? Begin by setting a cozy, private scene that makes you both comfortable, maybe during a quiet evening at home. Initiate a kiss as a gentle "thank you" for something thoughtful he does, or a peck on the cheek as a "good morning" or "goodnight" ritual. These moments can slowly build a new comfort level and possibly ignite a spark for more spontaneous kisses. Love often grows in the small, shared moments, and it’s never too late to add a new chapter to your love story. 💕 Remember, every couple has their own journey, and it’s all about finding joy in your unique path together.

[ohsheeT]

Well what are you waiting for it's just as much your choice it is his come on girl do it tell him what you want tell him what you need LOL

[MsProsperity]

It’s definitely normal, maybe his love language is not kissing. If you want more kisses, I suggest you kiss him more often

[Asker]

Yeah I think that’s the simple solution, I often forget myself but we have been doing long distance for a few months now and will move in together again very soon, so that will probably be a good time to give it another go! Thanks for your advice :)

[MsProsperity]

Yes girl. Buy new lingerie sets and practice new recipes so that you can cook for him. It’s up to you to keep your man happy. If you want more kisses kiss him, make him fall in love with kissing you

[Razp_Sorbet]

My partner and I don't kiss a lot, mostly kiss when were intimate but there will be days where we don't kiss at all. So I don't think it's that weird

[Asker]

That’s great to know, thank you for responding!

[DrPepper12]

Sounds ideal to me. I grew to abhor kissing over time tbh. Peck on the cheek is more meaningful than swapping spit and a whole lot more sanitary.

[Asker]

Completely agree, I was never into the tongue/intense kissing, the idea of swapping that much saliva with someone, even someone I love, is just a bit gross to me. I’ve thought the same about everyone I’ve kissed not just my boyfriend which is why I know it’s more of a personal thing I have. But I do enjoy a kiss on the lips just minus the tongue/open mouth! I’m really glad to know I’m not the only person who feels this way

[DrPepper12]

You are NOT alone. I've even Heard of swinger couples who have no limits other than kissing! That's the one thing not allowed. Kissing is really just gross.

[Friendlybro79]

Have you talked about this with him? If you'd like to kiss him then tell him, if you're both happy as you are, then stop worrying what is normal... seriously if it's normal for you and you're both happy then just be happy.

If you're bothered by it you gotta talk to him. Not us. No sarcasm but we clearly don't know you and without hearing his feelings it's impossible to advise you.

[Jkgordon]

Kissing is nasty mouths have lots of germs also check out your teeth and his maybe ur breath stinks
Kissing is nasty because if he cheats and kiss think about that and some people kiss everything
You are not missing anything but DISEASES!

[Anonymous]

Probably because you have fantasies that are far too wild for him to even imagine much less act on

[Asker]

Not sure what from my post would have suggested that 🤔 kissing is a wild fantasy?

[Opinion Owner]

I mean…. No. Most men have absolutely no idea how a woman’s sexuality really works or how to please her. A man’s off and done after he comes. A woman…. Women typically have much more extreme fantasies and takes a lot more time

[Anonymous]

Sounds like he's using you as a blow-up doll. I'd have walked a long time ago. You deserve better.

[Asker]

I’m not sure if I agree though, as I said we still cuddle, hug, hold hands. He does loads of romantic things for me, he puts me as his 1st priority over anything else, supports me in my career and tells me multiple times a day that he loves me, he always compliments me.. so just because we have sex, but don’t kiss, but have all of the above, it still seems to me I’m being treated as I should be, but I would be curious if others agree with you

[Opinion Owner]

Without sex it's friendship. Which is fine. But I would be looking for a partner and move this guy to friend and stop wasting the best years of life.

[SotiCoto]

If you don't know, how the hell would anyone else know?

[Nahid1707]

Would you say you’re an affectionate person? Affectionate type of girlfriend

[Asker]

I wouldn’t be a very affectionate person in general, it wasn’t the way I was raised. There were very little hugs or kisses in my family growing up, to a fault at times. I even to this day still get uncomfortable when I hug my friends, even when I’ve known them most of my life. It took me a while to learn how to be affectionate with my boyfriend and comfortable with it. I would say at this stage I am fairly affectionate with him but he would be a lot more affectionate than me as a person, he will always be trying to hold my hand or touch me in some way or another even without the kissing, so I think this is why the lack of kissing didn’t effect us too much on that side of things

[Nahid1707]

This makes sense, glad you understand my question too

Nice honesty

[CubaPirate]

You're obviously not really on love with other

[MsProsperity]

How? Explain please.

[CubaPirate]

@MsProsperity kisses 💋 😘 are a fundamental part if showing love for each other in my relationship

[Asker]

Emphasis on “my relationship”, they’re all different, but thank you for your response!

[DrPepper12]

Kissing is one unnecessary component of a loving relationship.

[Anonymous]

At least you have intercourse which my ex didn't like having and because of that I kind of refuse to call her an ex

[Plugs]

U don’t love each other

[Asker]

Lol, a complete assumption based on very little, with no reasoning or anything to go with it, very useful answer thanks 👍🏼

[Asker]

So love to you is kissing? That’s it?

[MsProsperity]

Does kissing your partner mean you love them? Lol let’s hope your age is fake

[Plugs]

U care about them as a friend. U don’t love each other romantically

[MsProsperity]

She mentioned their sex live is perfect, I guess you didn’t read that part

[MsProsperity]

Sex life

[Asker]

Yeah I don’t have sex with my friends, and if I did I doubt I would enjoy it, but I would see what you mean otherwise haha

[DrPepper12]

No idea how you reached that conclusion

[In_Trance]

So why don't you kiss him?