Do you ever wish you didn't have a SO?

[AviatorTom]

We are human, and sometimes we see someone that we are extremely attracted to... but we already have a Significant Other (SO).

Being honest, I have been in that situation, very tempted, but I believe in my commitment to my SO and take no action... even though I sometimes wish I could.

What about you? Have you ever wished you didn't have an SO so you could act upon that attraction to someone else and satisfy the temptation, but you don't? Or maybe you have given in to the temptation?

You know, being tempted but not taking action is the difference between commitment and cheating.

[Finchie40]

That’s when you ask yourself what is more important to you? Staying with your committed partner that’s been by your side all this time or throw it all away for 20 minutes of fun? If you choose 20 minutes of fun , then that’s your answer that you truly don’t love and value your SO. And you are best to move on from them. We are always faced with temptation when we choose to be in a relationship with someone. It’s something you should ask yourself before choosing to be into a committed relationship with someone. If you can’t settle with just one girl , then you made the mistake by getting into a relationship all together. , even if you feel you can get away with it , do you want to stay in a relationship where you have to keep a secret until death do you part? Ask yourself what can that other girl offer you other then sex? If your sex life at home with your partner isn’t great , then you are best to make it great again and focus on your partner , if you feel you have tried everything with your partner and nothing has changed , then it’s best for you to end that relationship, but the truth is that other girl isn’t going to save you, she is just going to make matters worse if you end up screwing her , Does the other girl know you are already in a relationship? If so then there is no skin off her back because your relationship is your problem. So as much as it is tempting , ask yourself these questions. What’s more important to you , if you love your SO you are best to fix your relationship or you will regret every second after if you choose
To cheat. Remember cheating is a selfish act , for love to grow between 2 people, both people need to remove selfishness for each other , resisting temptation is removing selfishness

[KrakenAttackin]

Well said. "You know, being tempted but not taking action is the difference between commitment and cheating". This is so true as is the decision to work through problems and not just jet because you have a hundred other guys in your DM's.

[sheenagwapa]

wow this post is like reading a magazine too perfect. the only person i know so much is my ex so i'mnot really sure if i really indeed wanba "house" them all. in my country a Muslim man can have a lot of wives and put them in one house hence the rerm house. when i have my ex before i cannot show affection to other men even though i want and it's not beinh a flirt or anything sexual just wanna be there for them. i think even if we have the tendency to like people many men or women the heart would scream an overall winner. it's when we use pur brain that complicated. i watch the show Gossip Girl and their relationship is unpeaceful. how can yoy expect stability and the relationship to grow when you involve too many people on iy. if i'm a married woman for instance and i keep meeting men after men it's gonna be a chaotic marriage. i've been in a long term relationship and i love the peace and stability. has to get along with your bedtfriend, has to get along with your gang, has to get along with your parents and grandparents. if i'm a marriage counselor i will recommend who is like this to a 6 month retreat with his or her spouse. just the two of them in one house without outside forces and i bet yoy will appeciatw your relationship and enjoy the marriage. commitment is also about focus.

[DizzyDesii]

This is probably why i drag out the “official” (boyfriend/girlfriend) label. Sometimes I question if I can trust myself

[jennifer_bloom]

I have not dated to many people but I believe that unless you are disabled or sick, you maximize your happiness when you enjoy people instead of relying on them. The husband or wife, is the companion, and should be treated with the same courtesy you offer strangers or friends that you are less likely to take for granted. They should not be treated as an occupational therapist that validates emotional needs and rectifies child hood traumas people have from their past. No human should take the place of a God or a dinner plate of food. Humans have their independence and their unique interests and that must be acknowledged and celebrated rather than vilified and opposed by a depressed person with unrealistic standards in their romantic partner. I know a lot of relationships are toxic, because people try to use their partner and their relationship in ways that God did not design for them to use the other person in a marriage.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

Nope. I have never wished that. For me, the person I was with, was the most attractive man imaginable because I was in love.

I think it’s important to appreciate what we’ve got.

Would you rather satisfy one time temptation over the relationship you’ve had for years with someone who loves you?

How are you sure that one time temptation of yours will lead to a long term relationship and you’ll not have to spend many years alone?

Is it worth losing over one time satisfaction?

[Apple1996]

Nah not for that reason but sometimes I wish I didn't have a SO for the opposite reason so I could be completely alone

[Avicenna]

Sure, that's happened before (for a moment, that's all).

[OlderAndWiser]

No, I am very, very happy with my fiancée!

[musicbrain5]

I’ve never wished that. Do we see attractive people out in the wild and comment on them to each other? Yes, but it never goes beyond a comment about the appearance/attractiveness of the stranger. I would never dream of being willing to throw away the life we’ve built for ourselves over the last 12 years, just for a one night stand or something.

This subject is reminding me of the movie Eyes Wide Shut, and this scene in particular:

https://vimeo.com/251765693

When you also remember that Tom and Nicole were married to each other at the time, it really adds an extra layer to the whole scene.

[bananathunder]

omg I forgot all about that movie. I remember jacking off to that DVD when I was younger LOL

[musicbrain5]

@bananathunder Was it the orgy scene? LMAO

But seriously, Tom and Nicole were so fucking hot in that movie. Even the poster is a still from the scene where he feels her up and they make out in front of the mirror. Like damn.

www.watervillecreates.org/shows/eyes-wide-shut/

[bananathunder]

lol yessss. Rewatching that clip, I was like damn she looks good in that semi-transparent white top and bottom. Brought back memories LOL

[Screenwriter]

Long time ago I was tempted by an attractive man who also had a SO. But made no attempt of any kind. Just admired him from a safe distance.

No good comes from cheating on your spouse or interfering in someone else's relationship, whether either of them know about the cheating or not. Entertaining a cheap thrill in your head is innocent and passing.

Also makes you appreciate what you actually have. You never know what that fantasy person is actually like until you're in a relationship with them. You know your SO's pluses and minuses. Grass is usually NOT greener. It's just UNKNOWN!

[EricSummer]

No, I'm naturally faithful and I always prefer my woman to others.

A long time ago, at age 18, there was a bit of confusion as I was with my first girlfriend but my first crush from childhood seemed to be available, too. This was the girl I had first liked at 10 and first kissed at 16. You could say she had the older rights to me. Anyway, my girlfriend made it clear that she accepts no rival and I learned to stick to my choice. It was quite easy, too, as she kept me busy and sexually exhausted.

When I was single recently I got lots of numbers from women but since I'm with my girlfriend I got none. It makes a large difference to my mindset.

[BadApple69]

My question to you is this… I am not condoning cheating at all but when the opportunity comes up to sleep with a beautiful girl and you don’t because of your commitment aren’t you cheating yourself?


I have had many such offers from some very pretty ladies and I turned them down. I was being the good guy. Now I am no longer with the person I was committed to and I regret not sleeping with those other ladies. They were opportunities lost because of a commitment to someone not committed to me.

[DiegoO]

Cheating is a never a wise decision. Beyond the act of it, you are betraying yourself. If you don't believe in a relationship no more, why not only breakup?

[BadApple69]

I agree cheating isn’t good. I just said what I said to make people think. Not much of a conversation if everyone is saying the same thing.

[nastyb]

@BadApple69

Haha dude, if you ever had a huge desire to sleep with other people while dating someone. It just means you aren't in love with the person you're dating.

[nastyb]

@BadApple69

There is a huge difference between a pounding urgent almost uncontrollable desire to fuck a 3rd party vs acknowledging that you do find the 3rd party attractive.

[BadApple69]

@nastyb @BadApple69

“a pounding urgent almost uncontrollable desire to fuck a 3rd party” was years ago before I got railroaded into working 3 jobs. Now days the only thing pounding is my head when it hits the pillow. But in my youth I saw a few girls that I just had to have. I never did have them but the desire was there. Life throws many things at a person and if you don’t duck in time it’ll hit you right in the face.

[RoοstеrBrеаst]

@nastyb haha.

"There is a huge difference between a pounding urgent almost uncontrollable desire to fuck a 3rd party vs acknowledging that you do find the 3rd party attractive."

Do you realize that it was one of the first prompts I used on chatgpt to convince it to write pornographic text? Ask @boobslayer, I shared my prompts with him. It was something to do with "... fucking hard pounding fuck of uncontrollable prick-stretching..."

[AaronKrieger]

Sure, I've been there before, but it wasn't like I was going to act on it. Actually, I've broken up with a girl before because this kept happening too frequently. It didn't feel right that I was looking at other women for options while with someone.

[ShadowYamihiro]

Look you can simply take a walk in your town and you will notice attractive girls (in my case) and feel that attraction and desire to do it with them, but just a few moments later you will stop thinking it and feeling it cuz deep down and if you truly love your SO , that SO will pop into your mind and you will realize its them that you want in your arms and bed, no one else. At least that is how it is with me, can't say i speak for everyone, its just what kind of person i am

[Rei13]

I think it is normal to still find other people attractive outside of your partner and I’ve encountered a few in the time we’ve been together. As far as wishing we weren’t dating or actually wanting to act on that attraction, no. The idea of doing that to my partner repulses me to be honest

[Mansearching]

I love my s/o. But do I look at the menu? Of course, I'm not dead. But its more like she's pretty. She looks good. I've done it in front of my girlfriend. She says same things about them. Do I oggle, hell no. Do i ask them out or get their number? HELL NO. I'm not stupid. She's confident in our relationship that I can comment on someone else and she has no problem.

[nastyb]

I used to have a male coworker who had a dedicated girlfriend and a baby. She paid all the bills. They have a life together. When a pretty student walked in, he said "omg, she's the prettiest girl ever!! I gotta come here more. " he looked so excited and happy as he stared at her walk by.
He said hi how are you to her too as she past.

Some people in general have no morals and are absolutely disgusting

[Mansearching]

@nastyb he was oggling her. I don't do that. I don't talk to them either. I just say that they're pretty.

[nastyb]

@mansearching

i dont think any wife truly wants to hear that even if she says she isn't bothered by it. do you want your wife pointing it out to you whenever she finds a man attractive as he walks by you?

[Mansearching]

@nastyb I confident enough in our relationship. It wouldn't bother me. I'm not the jealous type. Neither is she. We both trust each other.

[nastyb]

@mansearching

so you're ok with your wife thinking, dreaming and fantasizing about other men?

[Mansearching]

@nastyb never said that. What I said was making respectful comments isn't bad.

[nastyb]

@mansearching

thats not a respectful comment to your wife. even if your wife doesn't offense. nobody truly wants to hear something like that

[Mansearching]

@nastyb I don't have a wife to begin with. Are you that insecure in your relationship? Are you that jealous? If you are that's sad.
If no one in a relationship can't compliment on someone else then they need to stay in a hole and never come out. Until they realize that their are other people on this planet.
I can go on with insults but ill be bigger person. Ev1 should get married and rip their eyes out so they can't see other human beings and vocal cords so they don't make their s/o's think they're cheating when they're aren't.

[nastyb]

@mansearching

it has nothing to do with security in a relationship. it all has to do with respect. even if i knew my man would never hit on another woman, i don't prefer my man to be saying those types of things out loud.

[nastyb]

it has nothing to with cheating... it all has to do with respect.

[Mansearching]

@nastyb none of my ex's or present girlfriend ever said i disrespected them. Treated them all with respect.
But ev1 has an opinion. Not ev1 has to agree.

[nastyb]

@mansearching

when you are in a relationship with someone, you have a responsibility to make them feel good about themselves. Constantly commenting about how amazing other people are does NOTHING for your spouse.

I'm not saying you can never compliment someone else in front of your spouse. but you don't go out of your way to UNNECESSARILY say that kinda stuff.

what if you were having dinner with your girlfriend, the waiter brings over the food to you both and she smiles at the waiter and says "I love your arms! they're so sexy! continue working them out"
meanwhile you look nothing like him.

even though you aren't worried she would cheat, wouldn't you feel that kinda stuff is better off as "unsaid" rather than said?

[Mansearching]

@nastyb Of course I never go out of my way. I'm not stupid. Neither does she. We're talking looks in general. Not being spacific. Just using terms: pretty, cute, handsome, good-looking. Oh, "she did up her hair nice."
girlfriend usually agrees with me and I her. We never go beyond. There is a fine line between being oggling and using complimentary terms. If girlfriend said that about the waiter in front of me, of course i wouldn't like that. That's to spacific. If she said something about his hair, fine. If it was a stranger in line, hey i like your shirt. Thats fine, i may like it too. That's nothing. Nothing spacific.

I we live different lives. We will just leave it like that.

[nastyb]

@mansearching

if that is done on a rare occasion, there is no problem.

but it would be a problem if you did that often.

No we don't live different lives. When you are on a date with your SO, it is your responsibility to make them feel special. You're not going to make her feel special by pointing out how amazing other women are.

Especially if it is a woman that you are trying to get her to say "yes" to a marriage proposal, you're not doing yourself any favors by complimenting other women in front of her.

[Mansearching]

@nastyb Of course I don't do it all the time. She sometimes brings up subject of how pretty or good looking some other person is. We have no plans to get married. She doesn't want to get married again.

[nastyb]

@mansearching

wow thats sad. she sounds very jaded. perhaps she's scared of being too emotionally intimate which is why she's ok complimenting other people while in a relationship.

[nastyb]

i personally have little respect for relationships where couples say they never want to marry. there's usually a big reason why they don't want to marry. Usually not a "lovey dovey" reason. If you truly wanted someone badly enough, you would marry them.

[Mansearching]

@nastyb Id marry her in heart beat. She knows that. I'm not going to to force her or give an ultimatum. That's just stupid.

[nastyb]

@mansearching

She has no faith this relationship would last. She wants her freedom to just up and leave whenever she wants. you're being shortchanged. Go for a woman who actually wants to commit

[Mansearching]

@nastyb After 13 years? Eh... shouldn't i be the one that left?

[nastyb]

@mansearching

Seriously after 13 years, she STILL doesn't want to marry you?

there's something wrong. man.

After so long she should know if you're the right man for her.

[nastyb]

Truth is... she doesn't want to fully commit. She wants to keep her options open

[Mansearching]

@nastyb if she does, she does. I can only control what I can control

[nastyb]

@mansearching

If 13 years , she won't make you her husband. Most likely she never will

[nastyb]

From what i have seen, People in relationships who never marry tend to flirt a lot behind their partners backs. Thats why i have little respect for those kinds of relationships

[Mansearching]

@nastyb Well it is what it is.

[nastyb]

I think most people settle for less than what they want in life.

[Anonymous]

To me there is a HUGE difference between, oh, you saw someone that looks attractive, and looking at that person and thinking, I want to end my entire relationship I have and go after that person. I mean how strong even is your relationship if that's all it takes for you to even have those relationship ending thoughts? If its to that point, maybe you aren't ready to be in a relationship or you need to work on the one you have.

[nastyb]

Usually they dont want to end their relationship. They want to have the best of both worlds

[RavVid]

It happens all the time that you see a highly attractive girl and... have thoughts.

It is more tempting when a girl shows interest in you and there is a basis to think you could swap out. But I haven't.

[nastyb]

Means you dont love your wife enough.

[RavVid]

@nastyb Yes. Or girlfriend. But I haven't.

[nastyb]

you're probably just not passionately in love.

[RavVid]

@nastyb Most men don't get 'offers' that often, so the consequence is that if we seem to be getting one then it stokes our ego and fanciful thoughts occur.

BUT we also realize that charming alluring girls very quickly become ordinary girls lounging in track suits in front of the tv, so mostly we don't succumb to 'offers'. Unless wife/girlfriend is a little B and then we might vote for niceness.

[nastyb]

@RavVid

i think everyone likes compliments but there's a huge difference between appreciating a nice compliment versus feeling strong, uncontrollable lust for other people. From my experience, the most dedicated , loyal husbands never ever do this. My father was married to my mother for 35 years and never watched porn, never did perverted things such as checking out another woman's ass in public, never lusted over his neighbor's pretty daughters.

[artgorgeous]

Fucking almost every day. So many fruits of temptation out there. But, its a life trial and we need to stay loal. Small and short-time pleasure mistake can ruin your life. Making such mistakes is stupid.

[Anonymous]

Yes, but not for the reason you're listing. This is why I keep my circle small. Because the word "friend" means something to me. The more friends you have the more upkeep you have. I'm by no means a recluse. But with most women the juice simply is not worth the squeeze.

[OfMiceandMen]

Never thought of it that way. When I am with someone, I am committed. There's no looking at other women or trying to lure some action on the side. I have one focus - her.

Besides, having more than one woman complicates things, and I like my simple life.

[midnightmoon05]

No.
I love my husband and love being with him.

They may look nice, seem like a good person. But the reality is not like that.

[summiter]

A few times in college I did. I liked to be able to fool around and hookup when I wanted to. I'm happily married now and am glad I have a SO

[Nikki1989]

Never. I have been on a constant high for 8 years because of it. I wouldn't change that for anything.

[katiesmuff]

No I am very happy and content with the life I have with my husband.

[Mamaliv]

Grass isn’t always greener on the other side. We’re human, we’re bound to have attraction to more than just one person, what happens next says more about how you feel about your SO and your relationship.

[BCRanger10]

No. I love my wife and cherish her tremendously.

[LazerBean]

No, I've never met a human being that I enjoy more than my husband.

[chrissykerdock]

sometimes it's difficult to move on just because someone gets you horny

[AimeeKyle]

In the past, no. In my current situation, Yes. The desire ranges from wanting to be with others for physical connection and other times it would be for solitude/alone time.

[TacosRAwesome]

Yeah but not to fuck someone else but to get a moment of peace and quiet coz I've been with some needy dicks.

[fuddly]

Needy dicks. Need sex?

[TacosRAwesome]

@fuddly not always but they needed more attention than I had the energy to give

[Tortoise_Lover]

I have never had a significant other I am 23, actually I'd say my tortoises are my significant others LOL if I lost them I'd be devastated 😔

[sheikalana]

Absolutely not. I'm very grateful of my partner.

[JosyJosy]

Only for the extra bed space. It's nice sometimes to just lay down like a starfish.

[exitseven]

No, being single was not as much fun as people say it is.

[Likes2drive]

Yeah a few times when I was married, now I’m not married, the stress is gone but it gets lonely at times though

[Anonymous]

I was someone who wished to die sooner until I met her

So naah, I feel like the luckiest man alive around her!

[RedInnocent68]

All the time! SO is my proudest success, and worst mistake. I guess I’m bipolar 😂

[loveslongnails]

No, I don't. My SO is fabulous and I wouldn't want a different one or none at all.

[SolitarySolace]

I haven’t had a significant other in almost 9 years now. Best choice I’ve ever made.

[Ironic_Method]

Not with my current SO. But I can understand if someone is happy being single.

[FaithLeon]

I don't have a SO yet but I know that we are always going to be attracted to someone other a SO (most times) I hope when that time comes I would be able to resist the temptation.

[Guido]

No, I am quite happy. She is an upgrade from my ex wife

[Bobbybopeep]

It’s hard for me to “fall in love” or gain interest. I can probably say no to the question.


I can subjectively find someone good looking but there’s no interest. Not to talk/speak/even to get to know him. He’s just good looking

[WhiteBoyChill]

The opposite.

Having a SO would be a dream come true

[Anonymous]

In today's world, I'm relieved as hell that I don't.👀

[clampfan101]

This will never happen to me. My first SO was one of my biggest motivations in life, and I’m desperate to find another one nearly as good as she was before she passed.

[Anonymous]

No I don't even have those feelings. If I'm in a relationship with a guy, he's the only guy I want to be with.

[Simslover92]

Nope. I just wish we could be closer.

[aquamarine321]

I don’t know what a so is

[AviatorTom]

SO = Significant Other, your partner

[Anonymous]

No, that’s disgusting behavior. If anybody thought that they should leave their current partner and let that person find someone who values them.

[Opinion Owner]

This is how cheaters are born lmao

[DextroShade]

No, especially given the deplorable state of the current dating scene.

[strateguy632]

i don't wish that.

[Static_In_The_Attic]

My wish came true, I’m single, hahaha.

[cnj421]

I wish I had one. lol

[Iron_Man]

No, I like my girl

[butterly248]

Sometimes, but then I would miss him too much 😔

[Anonymous]

There are times I wish I never dated my most recent ex because she was an asexual person

[Anonymous]

Only when I have to have sex

[Christoff92]

Sure. Life is like the colors of the rainbow 😏

[Twalli]

I haven't been tempted enough to consider it

[azgınteke]

never I didn't wish.

[worldscolide]

No, my life would be empty without her.