My long distance boyfriend hangs out with a girl. What do I do about this girl?

[Anonymous]

my boyfriend and I are long distance. he hangs out with this girl that he has slept with about 13 or more times. she likes him and tries to date him but he continues to say no because he is with me. we have dated before and it didn't work out so well. I love him and I am really attracted to him. I love the way he kisses me when we are together and the way he holds me. I even love our sex. I don't want her to come in between us. I love him and I trust him. he loves me and he trusts me. I sat on the phone today and cried with him because we was pouring our hearts out to each other. I'm his ''baby'' and he is mine. we are so good together. so what do I do about this ''hot'' girl that he has been hanging out with? he says she's hot and he has checked her out. they go over each others' houses and she is sleeping over his house tonight and she plans on wearing only shorts to bed. I really trust him but I hate her and she hates me so she will do anything it takes to steal him from me. what do I do? do I stay calm and trust that he won't do anything? or do I freak out and tell him it's over if he continues to hang out with her? oh and by the way she is sleeping in his room with him. any advice guys? girls? anything will help. thank you so much in advance.

[Anonymous]

You are young but you need to wake up and smell reality. Long distance relationships are often twisted fantasies. This isn't right or normal. He is cheating on you obviously and I don't know if you are just really young and blind or a foreigner. No sane guy that actually cares about his girlfriend would allow another girl to come sleep with him and on top of that ask what she is wearing while his girlfriend listens. He is crazy and you are living a fantasy. Snap out of it before you hurt yourself over this.

[Asker]

well that's kinda rude but OK I mean I know he cares about me and wants to be with me...i think I'm jus over thinking it because he even told me he loves me while she was right there. I care about him and trust him I jus need not worry so much. he probably didn't do anything I'm jus insecure that's why I worry so much. I need to stop that.

[Opinion Owner]

No hun, not just because a guy says he loves you does it mean he means it. Guys lie and for some it's extremely easy. Actions speak louder than words. If he really loved you then he would realize that his friendship to this girl is hurting you a lot and then he would stop communicating with her. That's how a guy who loves a girl acts.

[Opinion Owner]

Lying to yourself by saying that he loves and cares about you is only making things worse for yourself. You are trying to find an excuse to stay with the jerk. He doesn't want to be with you for you, he wants to use you for sex. He likes hurting you, and you probably have issues if you like being hurt by him. If you do not break up with him and move on this will be like poison for your life. Your life will be a tragedy. Please wake up and realize this.

[brightwing]

talk to him if he loves you he will understand. do accuse him just say your not comfertable but you trust him so his call in the end

[Asker]

i told him I trust him but I don't like him spending some much time with her. and he has ensured me that nothing will happen. but I know that tomorrow when I talk to him he will tell me everything that has happened because he always does.

[brightwing]

so if you trust him and tells you everything. then don't make a big deal out of it, because that can tick him off. just make sure to be a constant in his life. if he loves you he will stay with u. trust me on this hun, its the best you can do besides going over to be next to him.

[Musical546]

talk to him... talk to him and pour your herat out about her. if he doesn't think about you seriously he isn't worth being with.

[Asker]

i tell him and he knows how I feel about her...he thinks her and I could possibly be friends. I told him I will be nice to her as long as she is nice to me but I won't be her friend till she backs off him which won't happen...

[Musical546]

whoah. that is pretty messed up... you have to tell him how you truly 100 percent feel.

[Asker]

i did I told him ''i love you and I trust you but I really don't like you hanging out with her. she gets all over you and I feel like I can't compete with her. you even slept with her more times then me. I love you and you mean the world to me. I jus don't want her to come in between us.'' he asked her what she was wearing to bed tonight and she said ''im going to change into shorts'' he said ''thats it?'' she said ''yeah is that a problem?'' he said ''nah its fine.''...while on the phone with ME!

[Musical546]

i have to say, although you probably don't want to hear it, this guy is not worth it. he's basically cheating... and that's not cool.

i think that he thinks that you don't really care about it so yeah.

[Asker]

it gets worse then he asked me what I wearing to bed and I said ''tank top and shorts'' and he said ''thats it?'' I said ''yeah I'm bouta to take my bra off''(trying to get his mind back on me and not her) and he said ''well I can't see it so it doesn't matter.'' I almost started crying I mean I love him and care about him and wanna be with him but I don't understand what she has that I dont...i mean yeah I guess he thinks she's hotter but he says that he loves me and wants to be with me not her

[Musical546]

honestly. I think that, if you talked to him about it... and he's not responding... he effectively cheating on you... and worse stuff then this may follow... probably not what you want to hear, but I think the best idea would be to respect yourself more, and break up with the guy...

[Asker]

thanks for your opinion